Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

I agree with some PPs that the amount of clothing you have is probably a hindrance to you rather than a help OP. You actually have to be quite organised to manage the washing, drying and storage of 60 pairs of knickers. I couldn't cope with it! It looks to me like the mechanisms you've developed to avoid having to just do washing regularly have made the problem much worse.

Put all the socks into a plastic container and then when anyone wants socks they fetch them themselves from the box. That way the load of pairing them is divided up amongst everyone.

Why not ask your cleaner to also do the washing? Paying her more of course

I absolutely feel your pain op. I’m the same, it’s just so much easer to buy new packs of knickers and socks than mess around trying to find clean ones sometimes. The problem is, when I finally do get on top of everything, I’ve no room to put it all away 🤦‍♀️

I’ve always been someone who washes in bulk, but I do find daily washing and doing smaller loads/batches better to manage. We don’t have a dryer so everything in dried on the maiden or radiators, so it’s not as simple as putting in the dryer, pulling them out and putting them away. Things dry at different rates on radiators and airers.

My DH always folds his dirty socks together, I hated this until recently, now I do it with mine and my DDs, especially school socks, all same colour but different sizes. It makes keeping them in pairs so much easier. I wash all mine and DHs jeans together or hoodies or underwear and try and put them away straight away. Same with big items like oodies & onesies, I find if the bulky items have been dealt with then I’m not as overwhelmed with the small items. When doing DDs clothes I wash my older 2s leggings and T-shirts together and then youngest ones separately, I’ve started doing this because the older 2 pretty much share most clothes and everything is but in the same draws, the younger one has her own draws. By doing this I can put the clothes away just in the one draw once they are dried, rather than sorting clothes into piles and put away.

I’ve tried reducing clothes, but easier said than done, 3 kids, 3 school uniforms, 3 pe kits including tracksuits, clothes for forest school, drama, gymnastics, brownies, guides & netball uniforms. Then everyday including fancy/party or going out clothes.

It’s all great if I can keep on top of it, but it’s not always possible.

As an aside, I so badly want this now… it looks perfect for small outside spaces, or even stuck outside next to the window. The most attractive thing about it being that it folds away to nothing and doesn’t need putting away.

www.amazon.co.uk/Clothes-Airer-Retractable-Foldable-Bathroom/dp/B0BD958PLF/ref=sr_1_19?crid=3NQ088PCBUGIF&keywords=black+and+decker+heated+clothes+airer&qid=1667207508&qu=eyJxc2MiOiIzLjk2IiwicXNhIjoiMi45NyIsInFzcCI6IjIuNTAifQ%3D%3D&refinements=p_72%3A419153031&rnid=419152031&sprefix=Black+and+decker+he%2Caps%2C83&sr=8-19

@MonsteraMother You've had some brilliant tips. I want to add that washing can be a right bloody pain and though it should be easy or organise, sometimes it's not. It's not helpful to point out what a domestic goddess you are and your beds always have hospital corners and you cannot rest in a messy house.

I'm working at home today so should be able to do these domestic chores but I also have to fulfill my employer's reasonable request that I work to earn money to add to our collective pot so I have to think of how to best divide my time between paid and unpaid work. I'll add that my husband more than pulls his weight and I have no complaints about him. It's just that he's not here today.

I got up at 5.30am because I get up early but started the mountain of washing at 8am because we live in a terrace and it's wrong to disturb the neighbours with my washing machine just because I'm up. It's not unbearable - I like it here - but hey can hear us and I can hear them and we all get along by being considerate. It would be beyond anti-social to run the washing machine at 10pm if you lived in a flat as my friend does because she wants to get organised and refuses to understand why the neighbours are so moany.

I separate whites, darks, colours and delicates because I don't want to ruin our things and find it easier to do that if I have a week's build up of washing. But then there are just two of us so that might not work if there were more of you or babies. DH also does the washing too - it just depends who is around.

I thought it was safe to hoover and cleaning the loo and bath was only a bit splishy sploshy. I also put last night's drained washing up mountain away. We don't have a dishwasher and that works for the two of us but sometimes we use every spoon and plate in the house. But that's all cleaned and put away now. It's a bit like buying more socks because it seems easier than washing the dirty ones. You should try to avoid that but I won't judge.

Today I also plan to sweep up the dead leaves and empty crisp packets blown into the front garden from the street. My husband didn't do it yesterday because it was raining and would be soggy and pointless. For the same reason we didn't tidy up the back garden of dead things to take to the tip ready for winter. I might not reach that bit of my to-do list because I have some paid work to do. And cook the dinner and chat on Mumsnet.

PS the first washing load (darks) has just finished and I will hang it out on the drying racks (I don't use the dryer part of the machine because it's not that good and I choose not to) and think about doing the next load (lights).

There's only me here. I only wash clothes when they smell or are visibly dirty. I'm also never on top of it. Mainly because I have to go to the laundrette so I have to pair up three weeks' worth of socks at the same time. The fact that all the socks are black doesn't help much. They've all faded to various shades of grey or navy and are different thickness so I still have to pair them. I watch Netflix while doing it and I still hate it.
Not sure how I'd cope if I had a whole family to wash for.

Our shifts are a bit longer than that and it’s hard. For jobs like this we have to just do them automatically every day. So a wash on overnight every night. If you work 60 hours a week or more, you have to have a routine set up or it would never get done.

Same routine with the dishwasher, lunch boxes, making the bed etc. just a list of things that happens every day almost on autopilot;

Generally it's a case of when there's a load it gets done!

But it does sound as if you're loads come around too frequently!

I'm guessing you don't have a spare room that you could use as a drying room & people collect their own stuff?

OP, I get it. For me it’s washing up, not laundry, but it’s the same thing. I hate doing it, it’s always on the bottom of the list and I will procrastinate for ever rather than just do it. I know perfectly well how to do it and I know that if I did it more regularly, it would never become such a huge thing. But I don’t.

Whoever said timetabling is exactly right. That is the only thing that has worked for me, I literally have to schedule it in my diary: 6pm dinner, 7pm wash up.

Good luck!

You need sock clips. Take off pair of socks. Clip together with said sock clip. Wash and dry with clip in place. Put away with clips in place. Remove socks from drawer to wear, place clip in basket on top of drawer and repeat. Train kids to do same. You'll never pair another pair of socks again.

Find out the cost of a laundry service or ask your cleaner what they would charge. Then work out your and DHs hourly rate (not just yours) - if you have to work 2 hours a week to get your laundry done, is that worth it, both in terms of less hassle and time at home bought back? This was my reasoning behind getting ironing done. I haven't ironed for 30 years!

could you be washing stuff too often ?

you often see on mumsnet that people wash their pjs every day

I find washing incredibly difficult to keep on top of and I WFH so there's not really an excuse 🤣 I have three baskets - whites, towels/bedding and then everything else.

I put a wash on in the morning (I leave the basket at the top of the stairs so I physically can't go anywhere until I've picked it up 😂) and then put it in the dryer either when the cycle's finished or when I get home. I then fold it before I go to bed whilst my cup of tea is brewing.

Putting it away is another story!!! It seems to take HOURS. I either do this on a weekend, or one evening when the kids are in the bath or reading

I’m afraid I put socks away unpaired and people have to find a pair when they get dressed

I have been you OP, time poor and laundry rich!

I used a method like this, plus kids roped in to help with sorting from early on. Also sort through clothes more ruthlessly and get rid of items outgrown, tired or no longer used.

For me getting the stuff in the machine wasn't the problem, it was the permanent backlog of baskets. The kids did help but you can also pay someone to help sort laundry/iron etc. Don't rule that out if you can afford it

I also really hate putting washing away - it’s my worst job. Luckily Dd (14) does her own putting away, so only me and 8 yr old to do.

Im fine with washing and drying just hate putting away. In theory it should be the nice bit.

I would ask the cleaner if she could do the washing if you pay her extra hours.At least the bulk of it would be done then a couple of washes at the weekend should solve the problem.Wearing clothes longer also helps.Socks, can your children help,play a game who can do it the quickest.Children from a young age can put clothes away and tidy up.good luck.

Just buy everyone black socks. No need to pair then.

I'm the same, there's washing all over my house! Something that helped a lot was having a cull of clothes. The more clothes you have the bigger your washing pile grows to be.

How old are dc? Piring socks is definately a job kids can help with.

4 baskets of dirty washing lingering around must stink.

Just stick it in the machine and then the dryer.

You're not washing garments by hand, it's a few minutes for each task. I think you just need to crack on with it and stop making excuses

I had the same thing with socks so I got rid of them all and replaced them with 10 pairs of black socks, all identical. No need for pairing at all.
I don't have kids though but it would help if you had all the same socks and your DH had all the same but obviously a different size to yours.
That reduces the sock pairing by half.
The kids can pair their own socks.

As for the rest of it, you've had lots of good suggestions. I don't separate anything - just all gets whacked in. I'm in an European country where it is standard to have the washing machine in the bathroom - thought it was weird at first but love it now. Clothes which need to be washed are put straight in the machine as soon as I take them off and it gets switched on when it is full - usually switch it on in the mornings while getting ready.

Try to build in loading and switching on the machine into the morning routine.
That's the easy part of course, the drying and then the dreaded sorting is the worst thing but again maybe this could be done in front of the TV later on in the evening because it's not a task which needs a lot of mental power after a long day.

The easiest solution is to wash less. Not everything has to be washed every time it is worn. My DCs would put stuff in the washing basket that really didn't need washing and once I stopped them doing this the volume reduced dramatically, better for me and better for the environment.

Everyone has a colour for towels but get them so that they match and more importantly can be washed together. Yeah I know I will likely get slated for being non-u but this isn’t a hotel.
So mum has dark blue, dad has teal, child1 has bright blue and child2 has purple.
This way you can wash them all together but lob them back into correct room easily. People use their own towel which I think is more hygienic and they can be reused until needing washed. Also makes it easier to identify anyone using too many towels!