Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

Cross Post. What school makes you work from 7-7. Is there anyone you can speak to about managing your workload to a reasonable level? Or can you move to a better employer?

If you are doing sixty hour weeks in a professional job then you must be on decent money. Why not treat yourself to a cleaner or a laundry service?

Also no shame needed. I’m particularly rubbish at tidying. I can do all the maintaining chores like laundry and washing up and cooking and vacuuming (though I hate them) but just sorting a sensible home for an object to go in …no. Heaps of stuff on the sideboard it is.

Yes, Headteacher so I leave the house at 7am and get home around 7pm. I catch up with life admin during half terms which is typical for lots of teachers...my life admin just includes washing! 🤦🏼‍♀️

I hate laundry as well. its the one household task I detest. Massively overwhelming

Well there's your answer

You cant be arsed

There's not some mythical formula that the rest of us have that you dont.

We just do it.

It can so quickly become a daunting task. The key is putting on a load a day (or more if needed) then folding and putting it away. Don't allow it to build up as it will be a nightmare if your machine packs up!

Thanks for such a kind and detailed reply! Love the sock wicker basket idea! 😘

This is one task I'm pretty good at.

I run the machine overnight so it's ready to put out when I get up. Tend to alternate between lights and darks, and only do a separate hot wash for linen etc if there is a lot of it.

Wet washing goes onto the line, airer or dryer depending on weather. If something's been hung out all day but is still damp in the evening it goes into the dryer, so I have a clean slate the next day.

The basket of dry things is sorted/folded/paired on my bed where there's lots of space. I make a pile for each room that the washing lives in, e.g. bedroom bathroom/kitchen/cupboard etc and put my own things straight into the wardrobe as I go.

The piles go back into the basket in order of my route back to where the basket lives so I can just pop things away as I go.

1 kid is good at putting away so I just leave his on his bed. The other never puts anything away so he has a 'clean clothes basket' which he basically lives out of.

And yes, we have a sock basket too!

Think you need way less clothes rather than more to wash!!! Go minimal and do a small wash and tumblr dry everyday. Don't do any other chores until the drier has finished and you put stuff away. If there is and more frequent it will nevwr get overwhelming, you will just need to become rigid in doing small loads everyday!!

The crux of the issue is: you have too many clothes.
Have a BIG clearout.

I am swamped under the same issue and I know it's because we have too many. I'm fixing this tomorrow.

Get rid of everything you can. Then you'll only have one load a week. More clothes = more washing and you'll let it build up until you've nothing left then have 60 pairs pants to wash. No wonder it's overwhelming!

Pay someone else to do it. I do.

Bag up the dirty laundry and ask family or close friends to do one bag each just to get you up to date. Obviously you compensate for electricity- say £5 per bag?

From then on write up a schedule and stick to it like glue. Obviously underwear is one wear only, but lots of other clothing can be worn more than once. Restrict yours as much as possible - think of the environment and climate change!

With your working hours you should outsource it. Do you have a laundry local to you where your DH can drop your laundry off for a service wash and dry, or a someone local who offers a full laundry and ironing service.

Don't pair socks for a start! 5 of us here, 5 named baskets. As I'm taking washing out of the drier or off the line it goes in that person's basket which then goes up to their room to be put away (or in the case of the teens just sits in their room and they use it as a mini chest of drawers 😡). They can fish their own matching socks out of their own baskets or wear mismatched.... Don't have so many clothes.

Make washing the first thing you do when you get up (put a load in the drier from the night before/put a wash on etc) .

Less clothes. Only buy one style of socks then no pairing. Everyone puts own stuff away. Don’t wash clean stuff - most clothes are ok for a few wears.

Do a load a day. Set it off in the morning and dry when you get in. Clean clothes folded into piles. Each person must take their pile and put away. I don't pair up socks but came up with an ingenious idea a few years ago that we have stuck with - one child has Nike socks, one has adidas and my dh has puma. Saves any missing sock palavar and no need for balling up, they just get shoved in their soxk drawers

The sock pairing seems to be a big issue for you, so here’s a tip: don’t bother. Put clean dry socks in drawer. Find a pair when you want to put them on.

I was getting overwhelmed with the always there clean pile of clothes waiting to be folded and put away. We have 3DC and I work a demanding full-time job, no cleaner or childcare help, DH also works shifts and home educates the boys. I found the most time consuming element was the sorting the clean clothes into piles, folding and putting away.

We have 2 wash baskets - 1 for me and DH and 1 for our 3 boys. I found that if I sorted the dirty clothes before they were washed into each persons own pile, washed just those (all whites and darks together, 30 minute quick wash if not too dirty) and hung them to dry in one section, then did the next person's separately. When that person's clothes are dry I fold them as they go into the basket and then transfer the pile straight into their drawers. Made a real difference to how quickly I could do laundry.

I usually do all boys clothes on Monday, mine and DH Tuesday, towels on Wednesday, bedding on Thursday as an example. Oh and all boys wear the same colour and type of socks, no pairing required.

Doing it this way has saved my sanity.

I wash each person's clothes separately, so collect washing from room, wash, dry, put it back into their drawers/wardrobe. Never have to sort out baskets of different people's clothes. Ironing is done of specific items when needed before wearing but everything gets a good shake and is hung up straight to dry. I don't have a tumble dryer.

Lights and darks rather than white and coloured unless it's some really special white thing.

Towels and sheets go in together. Often wash towels and hang in bathroom to dry, they'll be just about dry enough for the following day's shower.

Outer layers are not washed at the same frequency as inner layers.

Pay for a laundry service?

I set the washing machine most nights so that it finishes when I come downstairs. Then I tumble or hang out while the kids are getting ready for school. As you work long hours you could do tumble dryer as soon as you get in.

however,with your hours I would pay someone to do it probably!

Get into habit of putting on a load of washing every day before work. It takes less than 5 minutes. I do whites twice a week and darks other days. Straight after work transfer to tumble dryer. Dump dry clothing into large bag. Sports Direct do huge bags good for laundry. Do this every single day in week. Weekends you and DH spend an hour each sorting and folding clothes and putting into drawers. I keep child's PE and all sports kit clothes separate downstairs as otherwise he somehow looses it in drawer then pulls out half of clean folded clothing looking for it. I keep it in a little basket in cupboard in hall. I buy child all plain Asda grey socks for school very boring but he can grab any 2 and look like a pair. Thick white sports socks no logo, again any 2 look like a pair. Bedding gets washed at weekends, and dried and back on bed all in same day. I don't iron clothes. If DH wants a shirt he irons his own. Don't make too much washing. Each have own towel and use just 2 a week each. Put on radiator towel to dry after use so stop smelling.

Drop the whole lot off at a laundrette for a service wash, and then implement some of the great suggestions here so you keep it under control in future.
Once that mountain is gone you'll be motivated to keep it that way.