Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

Take the washing to a launderette where they do it all for you. Drop off the bags and pick them up once all washed, ironed and folded. Then teach the kids how/where to put their stuff away so you only have your own to do. Yes it involves cost but you’re not happy or you wouldn’t be posting - invest in what will improve your life.

Also, if you’re financially able you might get a lot from booking a session with a home organisation consultant - Marie kondo style. Expensive but they will help you sort and purge loads of clothes plus improve/organise your systems for clothing storage and washing to make it more effective.

Each person needs a separate wash. Then you don't have to sort out the laundry, it's all in one load.
For socks, each person's socks should alll be the same. You might need a few exceptions to this, eg boot socks, but the principle remains. In my house, DH had black patterned socks, DS1 plain black, DS2 stripes, DS3 grey, and so on. This means that people can pair their own socks easily if they want to, or just grab their own random socks. Pants also need to be easily identifiable, as do plain T-shirts and shirts. But keeping them separate is top priority!
I dry shirts and T-shirts on hangers on a laundry maid hanging from the ceiling in the upstairs hall. They go from there straight to the cupboard. Anyone who is bothered about creases can iron their own clothes, or you buy clothes that don't need ironing. Or pay the cleaner to do it.
Disclaimer: my sons really didn't care about matching socks or being uncrumpled. Some people might have higher standards.

This but imagine the added pain (and time) if you iron too (as I do.) Clean clothes hanging everywhere waiting for done mythical time when I can iron them.

This is great and also teaches them an important intellectual skill (cross classification) that will develop their minds.

Oops — just noticed the children are already in school... in which case they will be too old for the CC game!

I prioritise reading daily with my DC because education is my highest priority.

It's not one or the other. Living in a state is something that kids remember.

Laundry is the pits! It's my worse household chore and if I could afford to outsource it I would. I can't so this is what I do. I timetable it in so Wednesdays morning I do towels and bedding in the morning, then mine and dhs dark clothes in the evening. Friday I do kid's dark clothes in the afternoon and everyone's white clothes in the evening. The baby's clothes go in a separate wash done on Thursday. I stick to those days as much as possible and put clothes away once dry. Baskets are not allowed to build up as seeing clothing drying everywhere and needing picked up causes my anxiety to heighten. I usually fill up the machine and dh will empty it so its very much a shared chore in this house.

Laundry is my favourite chore- it comes top of the list.
I especially love it in summer when I can get lots of stuff dried quickly outside.

Hi op. I used to be really bad at this and then realised that not doing the washing/ dishes were the two key factors in chaos occurring in my house.

Things I now do to manage this: wash goes on overnight and gets set out on clothes horses in the morning before work. If it builds up I bin bag the clothes according to colour and take them to the machines and blast it all. I also never let myself own that many clothes because you are giving yourself permission to let it build up and are also giving yourself even more to wash by doing that. Send a load to charity and leave yourself with a more manageable wardrobe. When you run out of clean stuff then you need to do a wash.

I also scrapped ironing most things tbh. My husband wears shirts so he irons those but I know my stuff gets creased in a drawer anyway so I just iron things as I need to meaning it gets put away much faster. Where I work is very casual so that helps and I tend to buy things that don't crease easily so I get that this might not work for everyone.

Have fewer clothes.

One wash load per day.

Come home, load on and it gets hung up on hangers to dry, little things in the tumble dryer.

Children match up socks and underwear to owner.

Goes into appropriate bedrooms, each puts own away.

By having far far less each it basically gets worn again so there isn't much to put away.

We had 4 girls close in age. Each child had 10 pairs of identical school socks all different to each other's. Life changing is that hack.

AntlerRose that's so lovely! What a lovely, non failure way to look at washing. Thank you

I won't add my strategies to the hundreds already suggesting the same range of things for actually doing the laundry.

I can find it useful to think about why I get mental blocks over things like this and I've had issues with laundry when it's been a PITA to put away. I had a bad phase of it when my clothes had to be stored across 3 bedrooms because no one room had decent capacity. Some DIY works later and I've got them all in one room which makes a major difference. They're also in storage that suits my clothes and what I find practical, mainly drawers (preferably mesh when in a wardrobe). Bulky clothes I prefer on a shelf. Only things that really need it get hung as I find coat hangers add a layer of faff.

DS 2 had different issues. He's the kind of child who can look at a full drawer of socks and fail to find any. The cure for him is flinging the socks into drawer dividers so he's got sections for school/ general/ sports socks and can actually see them. Merely doing the job lot identical multipack strategy wasn't enough for him! DS1 on the other hand copes with the minimalist sling all undergarments together approach.

I have the capacity to not need to swap summer/ winter clothes so don't. That's a job saved! Having a level of clothes/ storage that match each other significantly reduces overwhelm. Putting clothes away is daunting if things don't fit in the storage, have to be handled too much or grappled with.

When decluttering clothes, it's best to start at the back of the drawer/ cupboard for the things that you haven't reached for in ages; the things piled up in baskets have been used in recent times.

Doing a big blitz and getting on top of it is great, but if you don't tackle your reasons why it piles up, it will repeat and add to a demoralising sense of futility.

I'll do your washing, you do my washing up.

When I take my socks off I pair them up and ball them then put them in a net laundry bag. The bag goes in the washing machine when full of balled socks, tumble dried then the now clean dry paired up balled socks are emptied into the sock drawer.

They get clean balled up? I mean the water gets through so mine would smell clean but the cat hair and random bits would be trapped.

I used a laundry service for a while. I also threw away all of my socks and bought 20 pairs of identical socks. No need to pair.

I have a white airer which I sometimes jam in the bath and hang wet clothes on overnight.....

Get a heated airer, set the washing machine to start later and finish around the time you get home then whack it on there overnight . In the morning fold it up and stack it .. repeat daily and then at the weekend make yourself spend half an hour putting it away .

I find with laundry it’s one of the few chores that grows n grows if not done. Windows not done same effort to do . I think paper clothes are the way forward. Shame is isn’t a green problem solution. It’s really physical and lots of steps until it’s back in wardrobe. Too cold to be a nudist, shame it would solve the washing problem.

You need to wash every other day and as soon as it’s all dry. Sort it and put it away.

How old are you kids can they help.

Put all the socks in a big pile and give it to your kids to sort and put away?

Ask your cleaner if she'd like an extra hour or 2 a week and get her to do it, I love doing my washing but I can definitely see why others don't! I'd love to employ someone to iron it but can't justify it 🙄

I put a wash on every day.
I only use the short cycle so 30 minute and into the dryer it goes.
Can you put the washing on before bed abc throw it in the dryer when you get up? Or if you don't like leaving the dryer. Wash on before you leave the house. First home pots it in the dryer. Do this every day to catch up then as you need

I empathise I find washing super easy. It’s the putting away I struggle with.