Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

Years ago, i could never seem to get on top of the washing. I had piles of it paying around and eneded up buying things as i couldnt find what i needed.

I solved it by donating everything to charity! That left me with what was currently clean to deal with. I stopped feeling overwhelmed and managed to get on top of it.

I work 6 days a week, and often work away, so i get it xan ve difficult, but once id got rid of that lot, i got rid of the extra laundry baskets and made sure that as soon as the remaining one was half full i washed it.

It worjed. Now i put a load on ecery few days and hang it out as soon as possible.

Im also ruthless with socks. If it doesnt have a pair it stays on the table for a few days until i do the next wash. If a partner doesnt turn up i throw them away.

So I'm really going to try pack away a pile each evening rather than watching Matt Hancock eating a kangaroos penis. 😂
There must surely be a way that you could do both

You've just got yourself in a pickle, can you find your nearest revolution launderette? They have a 18 kilo washing machine and an 8 kilo one. It's 10 pounds to use the 18 kilo , but,you can use debit card,no need for change. Maybe weigh your washing and take it there to break the back of it,or just pick away at it in manageable chunks. Good luck .

Thanks, lots of people have suggested paying the cleaner extra and I would if it would help. No one else knows what belongs to who! Even DH mixes socks up!

Cleaner could, if the one load per person method was adopted.

Though I would actually involve them in the decision process, asking 'how would you feel about picking up some more hours to expand your scope to washing '

I totally feel your pain op. One tip I read on mumsnet was to never go up or down your stairs empty handed - obviously this won’t work if you live in a flat or bungalow but you get the principle. Sometimes this means carrying a full basket of washing down to the machine, other times it might mean carrying a clean jumper upstairs to put away. It’s a little an often approach that works for me.

Re socks - odd socks irrationally annoy me, but no-one else seems to give a hoot.
If one sock is missed in a wash, like if left behind in the washing basket on top of the whites, whilst its pair goes into the machine, I get so pissed off to the point where I can't relax until the left-behind sock catches up and is re-paired.
OH thinks it's no big deal. But that's how you end up with lone dusty socks down the backs of drawers etc.
I now insist that the socks are paired before going in the machine. A mixed wash is done at least once a day (4 person household).
There should be 8 socks going in, 8 socks coming out. I stopped short of insisting they be safety-pinned together before going into the machine.

I agree with those saying have a push to get through the mountain now, take a weekend day when you have no plans, use your dryer if you can afford it. Don't stress about ironing or, again if you can afford it, pay someone to do your ironing. Some of those services collect for you.
Then get rid of some of the baskets.
I have 2 only - one strictly for dirty, one for clean.

Set a timetable and stick to it. Put loads on before you go to bed & time it to finish before you get up. It's cheaper overnight. Make it part of your routine.

Don't seperate colours.
Don't have too many clothes.
Pay children to match socks, my 5 year old does it.
Have a well organised wardrobe, I find the ikea wardrobes with drawers and baskets ideal for small kids, each drawer has an item, pants drawer, t-shirt drawer etc. My 2 year old can put his own clothes away in it although they end up unfolded but it takes 2mins .
Haven't mastered putting my own clothes away yet, but I do have large ikea storage boxes in the bottom of the wardrobe, one for socks, one for undies etc. That helps.
If you have a large pile of clothes to put away it can help to get into a habit of just putting away 5 pieces each time you enter the room. It will eventually clear.

I hate drawers so we have none. All clothes are hung on hangers in my house. (Except for undies and socks, which go in wire baskets in everyone’s wardrobes). I put all the clean clothes on the hangers in the living room and get my kids to earn their screen time by hanging them in the wardrobes. I only do 1-2 loads a week, but we have a big American washer and dryer. It only takes about 15 mins to put all the clothes away.

My kids also don’t have many clothes. I just don’t see the point of too much stuff. Everything has a place in our wardrobes. I find it weirdly satisfying.

Also my boys have a shelf each, one above the other. From left to right they each have: shorts, school shorts, pajamas, swimmers, pants, socks. They can always find their stuff and they know how to put it away.

Could you put a rail up somewhere and get the cleaner to hang all the dry clothes on it. Then you just have to transfer everything to the right wardrobes?

When I've ended up with unmanageable amiuntd of washing I've taken it to a laundrette and stayed there until everything was dry. I did some presorting before loading up a big washer so most of one person's stuff was together and dried it together, just kept going and putting in separate bags until it as all clean and dry and sorted, and moved bags into the car as I went along
I've not been in that situation for some years now, once on top of it it was so much easier to deal with it
My son decided on his own initiative to only have black socks which is very handy. For socks of many colors I've discovered places where idd socks lurk, inside trouser legs that have been taken off, inside duvet covers, stuck being or under furniture, in bags of clothes that have gone elsewhere, not my job I know but I do look for odd socks, and try to mKe sure there are none in duvet covers before being put away. My daughter wears boots, she is happy to wear non matching socks, if I find myself sorting hers and there are odd ones I'll put 2 similar ones together, same style different color that sort of thing.
If you can get a system then maybe your cleaner can help or yr DH can

Get your cleaner to do your washing as part of her routine.
Wash on as soon as she gets there, hangs it on the clothes horse when she leaves.

Make space somewhere for the clothes horse to live. We have 3 in our bedroom.

And ignore the posters whose lives are clearly so perfect they're on top of everything.

I couldn't possibly let my washing basket overflow (think of the smell of that - NO). However, the ironing basket is a different matter. I dry the washing, pair the socks, underpants and knickers, etc - don't need ironing - so they go straight in relevant drawers. Anything that does not need ironing is hung away in the closets. Somebody wants something I iron for children on Wednesday's/Sundays - for adults over 15 they can iron what they want when they want to .. they know where to find it ///it won't be in a washing basket. I do 3/-4 washes a week: bedding, whites, darks and colours/ I only use the tumble dryer if the weather is not good enough to 'peg out' and there are instructions to bring the washing in if it rains!!!!!

On a slightly different subject, but still washing related,I trialled a couple of washes on 30° for 30 minutes and they come out perfectly clean!
I had to force myself to try such a short wash but in these days of high utilities, I am so glad I did, also saves mega loads of time.
( Does depend how mucky the wearers are, but as someone said, you don't need to wash an item every time you wear it.)

@Francelover be careful. On my machine the quick washes use the most electricity. Less time means more agitation which uses more power.

My cheapest programme takes 3 hours 40 mins.

My machines quick wash is also the worst for energy and water consumption.

I'm not too bad as laundry, but there's plenty of other jobs around the house I don't do!

My advice, if you have a cleaner, ask them if they can do an extra hour or so to do laundry too. My cleaner was happy to do pretty much any household job as long I paid the hours for it.

I'd also recommend airers inside the house for this time of year when drying outside isn't practical. They're a constant reminder! When we had a tumble drier the load could be in there for days festering because it was out of sight out of mind. But when it broke we didn't replace it and have airers in our dining room, and radiator airers around the house instead.

My routine is to stick a load in in the evening and set the delay timer so it'll finish at a suitable time the next day when I'll be around to deal with it ( e.g. early morning or evening). It beeps loudly and persistently when it finishes so hard to ignore. Then hang it on airers. At some point the clothes will either all be taken off the airers as the easiest way to find clean clothes, they'll get in the way too much or have guests coming round.

There's always a back log unless there's a sunny day to get stuff outside, but at least it's constantly getting done slowly!

It can be a battle in this house too. But has improved with a small utility Room & importantly less baskets!

& when there is a back log - laundrette! I’ve done this after holidays! Unpack into a bag/basket drop off and fetch a few hours later (near work) folded and paired and ready to put away!

My friend did this for her bedding every fortnight when she had 4 teens with another bag of heavy jeans and hoodies.

She said it saved her sanity!

you need WAY less clothes. then they are manageable. try to get rid of a few things each day, or a bagfull each week. When you have minimal clothes and only ones you love it's much easier to keep on top of them! the capsule wardrobe is your friend. Who needs 60 pairs of pants? 10 - 15 pairs absolute max.

I agree.

Buy a washer dryer, run it overnight, empty in the morning

I’m very late to this thread.
I completely understand. I have never ending laundry. Every holiday from work is spent catching up on housework stuff. Dh is ill, Ds has continence issues and I am also out of the house 12 hours a day.
I find half of the issue for me is I iron everything. I am also a bit anal about mixing colours etc. I would say on my days off, I probably try to do 4 loads a day. I rarely catch up.
I have considered a laundry service but can’t afford it.

icelollycraving I would suggest that ironing everything is your main problem