Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

Really?

You put it in the washing machine, then tumble dryer.

Then you fold it and put it away.

Its not hard

You could put on a wash or two a day, before or after work, You could get a couple of clothes horses, put them in the spare room with window open a little. Or drop it off weekly to a laundry service.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with the washing. Try your best to stick a wash on before you go to work, and tumble dry when u get home. The more you make it a habit, the quicker you will get through the baskets that you have sitting. Dont Miss a day. Try and wear clothes that bit longer ie trousers/jeans don’t need washed as often as tops etc.
@Topgub no need to make them feel shit, they was only asking for tips 🤷🏻‍♀️

1. Chuck out three of the washing baskets. Seriously. Place the only single washing basket within arms reach of the machine and let it live there.

1. Don't separate stuff - maybe at a push do a whites wash but realistically, it's not required. My kids wear red sweatshirts to school so as soon as I buy them I wash all the reds once together, and from then on I just wash whatever with whatever.

1. I have a wicker basket on top of the dryer for socks. All socks. Once a week me or one of the kids sit and ball them up.

1. As soon as you wake up, put a wash on. As soon as the first adult gets home, transfer it to the dryer. As soon as the dryer beeps, fold the clothes out of it.

1. Have a "spot" for clean dry folded clothes - for us it's 3 big ikea bags in my room - one for me, one for dh, one for the kids. All cleaned clothes are bagged into these.

Now if I need clean clothes I go to the ikea bag (if not already in the wardrobe) or the wicker basket for socks.

1. Once a week, Sunday morning or whatever, one of you puts away the kids clothes and one of you puts away the adults clothes

Also, handy tip we like, is all the school uniform is kept downstairs. We bought a hallway shoe rack/coat rack thing and hangers and it all lives in the corner of my office (wfh) - that way I can see without having to go upstairs what the state of play is with uniform.

Appendix 1.
Use towels way more than once before washing

Appendix 2.
Wear jeans, cardigans, etc more than once before washing

Some people struggle with certain tasks for whatever reason.

I understand about pairing socks! Could you allocate one colour to each person? Then you won’t have to match them.

5 mins to gather and put in machine, 1hr30 in the machine, 2 mins to transfer to dryer, 1hr30 in dryer, 7-10 days to get it back into cupboards and drawers.

I feel your pain OP. Always 2-3 baskets of clean washing lingering in the utility here.

@Saltandsauce

I wasn't trying to make them feel like shit I just dont get how anyone could find it difficult?

Do it at the weekend. Every weekend. You and your husband. That's literally it.

60 pair of pants? Sixty? SIXTY??!

Put one day aside to do nothing but washing, drying and sorting. Then keep on top of it by getting in the habit of one if you shoving a load in the machine each evening and load in the dryer, the other one taking out of the dryer and putting away. Or pay the cleaner more and add it to her jobs.

I'd pay the cleaner more personally and get them to do it. Washing can be a pain if you're out for most of the day as it always seems to end up taking longer than it should.

ADHD
Hectic as fuck so constantly chasing their tail - sounds like OP is out of the house 12hrs a day/60hrs a week and has two small dc
Because once you've done work, commuting, playtime with dc, cook, clean down kitchen, vacuum, wash yourself, batman bedtime with kids, there's precious little time or motivation to do anything else

Do you work 12 hours a day every day? Washing is something you need to get into a routine with. We often put our machine on a time delay before going to bed so the cycle finishes in time for when we wake. Then we can put it straight out on the line first thing and forget about it. DH and I both take responsibility for washing. Whoever is around (more often DH) does it.
And as soon as it's dry, sort it and put it away. Otherwise you end up with clothes in bigger and bigger piles which become a complete pain to tackle.
Washing is one of those jobs that seems never-ending and boring. If it's habit though, you just get on it with it without thinking. Blitz whatever's piled up and then keep going at it. It's a much bigger task if you let it slide for a few days rather than just keep going with it.

You've diagnosed adhd from an inability to do washing?

I put the load in when I go to bed, and delay the start. Then it finishes shortly before I get up.

washing on the line if good enough, or the rack/tumble drier if necessary.

once dry, it’s onto the owner’s bed…. And it’s then their responsibility to put away.

No. I've suggested it as an answer to someone who asked why doing laundry is a challenge. If someone has ADHD they may find these tasks, routinely having to do the same thing, overwhelming, or just not easy to manage.

I tend to wash the night before, fold it into the basket before I go to bed..peg it before school run. Take it back in however dry it is via taking hangers into the garden. Then hang it all up to air on the landing hallway window pole. After 24-48 hours I just grab it by owner and transfer it straight into their wardrobe. If socks are dry on the line they get paired as I take them off. If not they go into a sick bucket and get paired on mass latter.

I used to wash everyday but now I wear things foe much longer. That cuts the workload

Sock bucket - not sick bucket!

I iron nothing. Ever

Would it help if you got the washing ready in the morning and bunged it in just to switch on when you get home? I can't imagine how tired I'd be after a 12 hour shift and can DH really not help with it at all?

I have official days for washing and absolutely cannot let myself not do it. I am not allowed to be too tired OR too busy even ‘just this once’ because it spirals. It’s on the calendar.

Whites on a Sunday, washed and dried (so all school polos and my work blouses are done). Darks on a Wednesday. Colours on a Friday. Every single week without fail it HAS to happen, and DD also knows this so her washing must go in the basket promptly or it risks missing wash day and when she meanders along saying ‘where’s my ……..’ there will be only one answer: did it go in the washing basket on time?

Ha! Nope, no ADHD diagnosis here. I work in a school, 5 days a week. When I get home I make/eat dinner, hang out with the kids, read with them - obvs I prioritise reading! Put kids to bed and maybe watch telly for an hour while catching up with emails.
I could think of 5 million things I'd rather do than washing and pairing up socks. I would happily invite 12 people around for a dinner party, bake cakes, mow the lawn, go grocery shopping, literally anything rather than do 2 loads of washing. I fucking loathe it. It's not reasonable, I know, just one task I can't ever seem to find the energy to keep on top of.

Do you work 7-7 5 days a week? Because if you are only doing 3 days then you are just doing typical hours for someone working full-time so it's not really a good reason to be so behind.

But I'm the same. I currently have an overflowing washing basket and I just can't face it. Can hold down a full-time professional job but can't manage laundry- I hate it.

Or do what DH does and about once per year throw out every pair that he has and buy another year’s supply of identical pairs. No pairing needed then, any two will do.

Thanks! I love this idea! Timetabling is my strength. Best suggestion yet!