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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't cope with washing clothing

469 replies

MonsteraMother · 30/10/2022 23:13

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 31/10/2022 00:24

Having too much stuff so you can’t easily put away makes a big difference too. You put off putting away and then it builds up.

WhatsitWiggle · 31/10/2022 00:30

My washing machine has a timer - this was a game changer for me. In the summer, I load it the night before so it's ready in the morning, then 10 minutes to hang on the line. Dry when I get home, anything that doesn't need ironing gets put away immediately. Ironing in a basket.

In the winter, it's set to be finished when I get home, hung onto heated airer - use a timing plug so it switches off after a few hours. 10 minutes in the morning to sort into ironing or not, stuff put away in the evening.

Ironing usually done at weekends, in 30-60 minute bursts in front of the TV. I hate ironing so this is where stuff builds up - uniform is done without fail, tops I'm pretty good with but anything faffy will sit around for a while.

When it was 3 of us, washing had to be done daily. Now it's just me and DD every other week, it's only 2-3 loads a week.

Dixiechickonhols · 31/10/2022 00:31

Other option is throw money at it so pay for extra hour or two a week and get them to put laundry away. May need to find a housekeeper not cleaner.

Time40 · 31/10/2022 00:33

60 pair of pants? Sixty? SIXTY??!

So what? I've got about that, and I don't even have a problem with doing the washing.

AliceAbsolum · 31/10/2022 00:35

You need to book it into the diary like a dentist appointment. Forever

AliceAbsolum · 31/10/2022 00:36

Also throw away 45 pairs of pants. You can't be trusted with 2 months leeway

NicLondon1 · 31/10/2022 00:41

I also work v long hours in the week so it has to be done at weekends. I start 1st thing Saturday morning and do 2 or 3 loads (washer then dryer) .
Husband does his own on Sunday.
He also helps putting the kids clothes away. It's a pain but it helps to share it as we both hate doing it. I'd suggest you both agree to do your own plus 1 child each, don't try to do it all yourself.

TeachesOfPeaches · 31/10/2022 00:42

Make the pairing of socks a game for the kids. See who can find the most pairs

ILoveMyCaravan · 31/10/2022 00:43

Topgub · 30/10/2022 23:22

@Saltandsauce

I wasn't trying to make them feel like shit I just dont get how anyone could find it difficult?

I find it incredibly difficult due to my mental health. I have also been known to buy new clothes because I can't face the huge washing pile and sorting it to put a load of washing on.

I hate feeling like this.

Catflapping · 31/10/2022 00:47

Do you have any expendable income? Me and DH only ever argue about washing! He brought up the idea of getting a cleaner a year ago and I said actually what would be really helpful is a laundry service. I drop off our dirty washing Monday morning and it’s delivered back to us Wednesday afternoon, folded and ready to put away. Sound ridiculous but it’s changed my life!

TwitchyJerk · 31/10/2022 00:52

How about listening to a podcast or audio book while folding and pairing socks so you don't have to concentrate on hating doing the task?

JockTamsonsBairns · 31/10/2022 00:53

I bloody love doing laundry! It's my therapeutic go-to on my days off 😇.
In my next life, I'm going to be a full-time laundry person.

OP - are you washing too many things?
Bedding and towels once a week, one white wash a week, and a dark/colour wash every other day - that should be doable?

Lots of clothing just needs a freshen up, so the rapid wash cycle is sufficient.
Both adults in the house need to be on board with it - so it needn't just fall to you.
Honestly, half an hour a day and you'll be on top of it.

Derbee · 31/10/2022 00:54

I genuinely don’t think there are many things I’d enjoy more than walking into a room full of laundry that needs folding and putting away! I LOVE pairing socks too 😂

Genuinely not being sarcastic, I really do enjoy these things. So that being said, could you pay your cleaner for a couple of extra hours to sort laundry? Presumably someone wouldn’t mind being paid to do it? I’d LOVE to be paid to do laundry for people

cypresstree · 31/10/2022 00:54

Maybe you are all being too clean, heh, heh. If it doesn't smell don't wash it.

Rainallnight · 31/10/2022 00:57

Send it all out for a service wash.

Hadjab · 31/10/2022 00:57

www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/slibb-washing-bag-set-of-2-white-60441114/

when it comes to socks and underwear, these are your friend. You take your socks of, stick them in the bag. One for coloured socks, one for white. Do the same for knickers and bras.

Dixiechickonhols · 31/10/2022 00:58

How old are the children? The everyone gets a basket of stuff and put their own away is workable if they are junior age. Set a timer and race.

Ginny1987 · 31/10/2022 01:04

I struggled with putting the clean washing away. It could sit in the baskets for weeks and then we would just raid the baskets for clean clothes.

now, I utilise my husbands football watching time. He sits down to watch a game. I hand him a basket of clean washing. He sits and sorts it all into piles then at half time he runs up and puts it all away.

Take your sock pile and sort it in front of the tv.

Ginny1987 · 31/10/2022 01:06

Tell you what though, I do love a good sock. Socks make me really happy.

Smearywindowsagain · 31/10/2022 01:07

I’m terrible at laundry. Can’t face it. I work from home as well. There’s always a mountain of it. We’re a five person house. Dh does a lot of sport and shirts for work, the kids do sports and the toddler is messy and smears me/ herself with stuff all the time.

gorillalala · 31/10/2022 01:09

OP I know exactly what you mean. I find washing suuuuch a pain too but I force myself to keep on top of it.

Since for me I think the biggest mental block for actually putting the clothes in the machine is the THOUGHT (like literally just the thought) that it's going to take aaaaages (even though majority of that time is not even me doing anything), I've now started splitting it up into little tasks to run overnight or when I leave for the day.

So for example if when I get home and go upstairs to change and put my 'outside clothes' into the washing basket I notice it's full (probably every 2ish days), I'll immediately put the washing basket next to the top of the stairs. Then when I head down it's right there and I just take it down with me and dump it next to the machine and carry on whatever else I was going to do. Then at some point during the evening i'll be wandering around and pass by the machine and I'll have a spare minute and load the machine and turn it on. And then forget about. The next morning when I'm in the kitchen at some point during breakfast routine I'll quickly move clothes from washer to tumble dryer, turn on and forget about it. Then when I get home all the clothes will be clean and dry and all I need to do is sort them out (a task in itself but at least they're clean and dry now!!).

Even for the sorting and putting away, often I sort in the evening when kids are in bed and I can't access their rooms, so each of their piles of clothes just gets dumped (neatly) outside their bedroom door and then in the morning when I'm dressing them I can quickly put the clothes away. This in itself helps to break down the task of putting away clothes and I don't have to think of it as one big task.

Writing it all down here it sounds ridiculous to even have this level of detail and I'm sure someone will post saying this is bananas 'just' for doing the laundry, but it really helps me!!!

Ginny1987 · 31/10/2022 01:10

It’s the shite that can’t go in the tumble dryer that ruins my day. I have honestly started checking the labels of clothes for the kids before I buy now.

Fefifobum · 31/10/2022 01:10

Get a laundry service or see if your cleaner will do an extra few hours sorting the washing/ironing etc… Plenty of cleaners will offer this service.

PurpleWisteria1 · 31/10/2022 01:11

One huge secret to managing the washing:
Do Less Washing.
Does it smell? Does it look visibly dirty?
If the answer is no to both of those questions, hang it up or fold it away. It’s good to wear again.
Underwear is the only exception and only gets 1 wear (except bras which get far more than 1 wear)
People wash far too much. We have a family of 5 and do 3 loads per week max. Often 2x colours. 1x whites.
Thats it!

saltinesandcoffeecups · 31/10/2022 01:13

I feel like if we could match the OP up with all those advised over the years to take in washing we’d be a better service than OLD.

kidding…

OP I’m with you. My laundry needs a will of it’s own to live. Woolens aside- if I own it it has to survive on washing in cold and either a low heat dry or being chucked on the line in the basement out of the wash. I don’t sort any colors either, I tend to buy similar colors. Very few things will I consent to iron so I have to be careful what I buy but luckily hanging works pretty well so I don’t have to iron. In other words I own very few cotton shirts.

My advice do the best you can until your kids are old enough to do their own. Then make everyone responsible for their own laundry.