Can't cope with washing clothing

[MonsteraMother]

I'm relatively competent in most areas of life except this one. I cannot fucking get it together to be on top of the washing. I sometimes buy new socks just because I can't face the bloody sock mountain and pairing them all up. I own over 60 pairs of knickers as I only seem to have the time and space in my life to catch up with washing during school holidays.

For context, we have a 4 bed house with a washing machine, a tumble dryer and outside washing line but no utility room - just a small office/box room which is always stuffed to the max with the wash baskets and the sock basket. We also have a cleaner once a week but she doesn't do anything to do with washing.

My excuse is that I work incredibly long hours (7am to 7pm) and have 2 young DC. DH does lots to help too with cooking, dishwasher, all school runs but he is also crap at washing. We have 4 wash baskets and they are all full of washing in various states.

AIBU to ask for your help? Surely at my 'close to menopause age' I should be able to get a grip on this one area of life.

Please give me your tips...

My tricks for laundry include every one has their own mesh laundry bags, they put their clothes in them and the bags go in the machine, then in the tumble dryer. Then bag goes back to person and they are responsible for folding. One bag each for lights, and a separate for darks.

I use colour catchers to stop colours from running so I don’t have to separate too much or worry if someone’s miss sorted. Good enough for most things, if I had any good whites I’d do those separately but have deliberately moved away from hard to launder clothing and linens!

All my socks are exactly the same so I don’t have to match them up.

I have got worse and worse at laundry as I’ve gotten older, mainly because I just hate it. It’s the worst household chore and having kids has tipped me over the edge, so I avoid it. I’m seriously considering getting a cleaner just so I can get one who will do laundry.

Throw out all the socks.

Buy only white or black socks for everyone.

Don't bother pairing them after washing. Throw them into a sock basket in everyone's bedroom or into a sock drawer after washing.

I had five DCs at home at one point and I used to put the clean socks into the one big basket on the landing. First up best dressed...

I seperate loads per person when possible so i take each child's laundry basket and just wash 1 kids stuff at a time. Im Very lucky that I have a walk in ventilated hotpress for drying. On the back of the hotpress door I have 3 net bags hung and when dry, each persons socks go in theirr net bags. Eventually we pair what socks we can.

I have coloured tubs stacked into each other and I fold the clothes as pop them in the colour coded tub and empty whenever I have the chance into the child's wardrobe drawer.

My biggest piece of advice is have some separating system where you take out the dry clothes -so for example a tiered drawer beside your dryer to put each person's clothes. Do not thoe all the clothes into the 1 basket to sort out later as it's just too much to handle. I used to be so behind on laundry that I used to use a travel cot to dump the clean clothes nto and promisd myself id sort out later thankfully I reformed laundry system and kept on top of it.

There are some great ideas here how to manage your laundry going forward but first you need a reset. I can imagine that right now it looks so overwhelming you just want to shut the door and walk away. Allocate a full day one weekend to getting the pile down to zero, play loud music, do whatever you need to get through the day then you can start from scratch.

I do a load a day first thing in the morning (assuming we have enough clothes to fill it). This involves taking washed clothes out, hanging them up (outside if dry, on heated drying rack inside if not) and putting the new load on. If I hang the clothes outside, they'll come in when I get back from work. I do an extra wash of bedlinen and towels at the weekend.

I don't really fold laundry regularly. The dry clothes go into a wicker basket upstairs and everyone pulls out what they need each day. Anything left over gets puts away before our cleaner comes (fortnightly) as part of the general tidy up.

OP, I feel for you. Your job is huge.
Messy as I am, ADHD nutter as I am, I do keep on top of the laundry. So herewith my top tricks.

Major household rule: DC must put her dirties in the washing hamper. I don't care if it's all jumbled as long as I don't have to rummage in her room.

Second household rule: Once it's on the line, it's DC's responsibility to bring it in when dry -- ALL of it, not just her own.
Third household rule: DC must separate her stuff from mine. Dump mine on the landing so I can sort it and put it away.

These rules are not onerous, they're just a part of teaching my DC to be a capable adult. That goes for larger families with boys as well as girls.

Can you afford to take it all to the dry cleaners? My local one does a service where if it’s over £25 they come and collect it and bring it back within 24/48 hours.

I did this beginning of this year, I literally had everything item we owned in the house needing to be washed. I was hobbling about on a broken leg and just couldn’t face the washing.

I think it cost me £7 per 7kg load or £10 per 10kg. It’s not cheap but if you get it all done in one fell swoop then you’ll be able to start fresh and keep on top of it.

As for not being able to pair up socks - that was al was always here until I started to buy all black or all white socks 😁
Now it doesn't matter as all odd socks are the same lol

That's a hell of a lot of money though, we're a family of four and get through a lot of washing, especially with muddy football kits and school uniforms/PE kits!
We get through two to three washing cycles a day sometimes

What are your kids wearing if you don't ever do washing? And why do you 'obviously' prioritise reading? Wearing clean clothes is not optional because you cbf.

I only ever buy socks that have a pattern or pictures on them etc. No need to spend ages matching various shades of grey and white socks.

I don’t know if this has already been suggested as havent RTFT, just your posts OP. So forgive me if this is a repeat.

Since you loathe laundry with a passion, I’d do a horse trade with your DH.
You see I once had 4 young DC and worked 6-6 five days a week. I did all the laundry but I like laundry. It’s relaxing and satisfying.

My DH is like you, he loathes laundry with a passion. So we did a horse trade. I hate, absolutely hate cleaning bathrooms. Scrubbing toilets is the absolute worst job ever. Besides I once had a job cleaning public toilets so I’ve done a lifetime worth of toilet cleaning.

Solution was I do all laundry, and DH does all bathrooms.

Can you do a similar division with your DH? I know you said he is “useless” but can you not give him a crash course in laundry? If he finds he hates it too, then can you not come up with a way to split the work up? Or do it jointly?

Like someone said above, it's all about being organised and not letting yourself not do it.

My handy tips -

• 2 baskets in the bathroom - one for lights one for darks. That way washing is presorted 🙂
• wash on regular days as noted above, do not waiver
• I hang my washing according to where it gets put away - so shirts together, socks together etc. You get fast at it and it's easy to do.
• as I take clothes off the line, they are folded, socks paired etc
• walk inside and you can grab socks all at once and put away. Once you get like with like, you can also start hanging and folding by sides of the cupboard, so open one door and one two three everything put away on seconds, open next door and again super quick to put away.

For the kids, put theirs on the bed for them to put away.

Enforce the if it's not in the basket it isn't washed.

I vote for taking it all to the launderette for a service wash. I don’t mind washing and keep on top of it, but if we have been on holiday and I’ve got a couple of weeks worth plus a load of bedding and towels then I get some big IKEA bags of washing and drop them off at the launderette. Pick it up all dry and folded up

No idea how to respond to this lol.

It was just a suggestion, it’s expensive but for a one time thing to get it all done so there’s a clean slate I think it’s worth it. It’s not like it’s an every day cost.

I’m sure OP can decide what she can afford either way.

I get it, I hate laundry, too. It’s relentless - day after day, after day.

But it’s super easy to fit it into the routine you’ve outlined.

We all have laundry baskets in our room.

Right before dinner, scoop it up from the baskets, and either put it all in the machine, or divide into a couple of loads.

Then through the dryer, and then fold and put away.

If you do 1-2 loads a day, it doesn’t build up.

Folding takes 5 mins because it’s not a huge load, or if I have got a couple of loads worth, I just play something on my phone to help pass the time.

A recent thread suggests dryer use is working class - as if that’s somehow an abomination. Regardless, my dryer gets a daily work out all through winter.

I don’t sit down for the evening until the folding is done.

Little and often is the only way to manage it.

We know it’s dull, tedious, relentless, the works. So make it as short a task as you possibly can by incorporating into your daily routine, along with everything else you do on a daily basis.

Don't buy whites/ blacks or anything hard to launder. Just colours that can all go in together.
Next time you're buying a machine buy the largest drum you can afford. Ours is 9kg and it's great but you can get up to 12kg.
Get rid of your laundry basket so things can't be left sitting in it. I take the clothes out of the hamper and wrap everything in the largest item to carry it downstairs.
I don't use a dryer but when things come in off the line I either put them on the radiators overnight or hang on hangers in bedrooms to air. This saves on ironing too.I use a multi peg sock hanger so socks are sorted straight from the wash.

I usually only wash hampers from one or two rooms together so the washing to be aired goes back into that person's bedroom.

Maybe you need to sort out the amount of clothes everyone has and reduce it so that you have to keep up with the washing or there won't be anything clean?

Also if the kids are small and inclined to be messy a couple of over the head aprons are great for meal times and crafts etc.

In terms of your daily routine could you set the washer to be finished when your husband comes home if he's earlier than you and get him to load it into the dryer?
Then maybe you could fold while kids are in the bath/brushing teeth/ changing or any of these things that take kids ages.😆

I would buy -
1 one type of laundry detergent for all clothes plus one for delicates
2 Colour catcher sheets so all colours can be washed together
3 Vanish in wash stain remover
4 Dettol laundry cleanser (blue lid) which goes in the fabric conditioner tray.

• Wash dark clothes a couple of times when new separately to get most of the dye out.
• Put all colours together at 30 with a colour catcher sheet They do work.
• Use vanish stain remover if you happen to put anything really dirty in as 30 sometimes isn’t enough.
• Use dettol laundry cleanser for anything with smelly arm pits eg sportswear.
• Only wash delicate and precious items separately with a delicate wash detergent and cycle.

Oh I forgot to add you can reuse the colour catcher laundry sheets until they’re too stained.

Washing is one of my favourite tasks as the machine does 80% of the labour. More if you tumble but we don’t really tumble now with cost of living crises. I always feel quite sorted when my machines are in and working for me - washing machine, bread maker and dishwasher for the win.

we are 4 people in a 5 bed house and reckon you need to do two washes a day to keep in top of everything - one for clothes and one for towels/sheets/cloths/dog beds etc. so that is our strategy. I do one load in the morning, one in the afternoon - shove in the washing basket in between - and then hang all together when DH is home (he often does it to avoid the kids!).

we do find the hanging up painful now we don’t tumble but we don’t have many clothes so have to keep in top of it or there is nothing clean:dry to wear.

Do you have a launderette near? Ours is open 7:30 to 07:30, they do wash and fold. If you can manage a school you can manage a drop off on Monday and collection on Wednesday.

*sorry 7:30 to 19:30

I couldn't deal with doing the washing once a week, it would be such a daunting big pile. What I do is as soon as I wake up, I put a load on. Get ready and then hang it/put in dryer before I leave the house.
If it's done daily, it's just a little bit. Just a few socks. No big pile.

Where is your DH in all this?
You work 7 to 7. What are his hours?

There are four of us. We don’t have a dryer. We line-dry outside, or a rack in the kitchen. At the moment, we don’t have a washing machine as it’s broken down. I’m hand washing in the sink.

Normally:

wash less often. Sheets and towels do not need washing once a week.

fewer clothes. Get rid of lots. Rewear clothes.

mesh laundry bags for each person’s socks, knickers.

no ironing if you can get away with it.

we do two washes a week, maybe three at a push.

How can you live with 3 massive ilea bags in your room?! They are hideous!