To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

Neither of us believe in divorce (for us - again others should have the choice) so I doubt that would be an issue.

@AMorningstar So you don’t see value in all the professions (that support you and your children) that women work in nurses, teachers, doctors, dentists, opticians, prison wardens, barristers, judges- many of these are talented women whose talent and knowledge would create a hole if they stayed at home. Imagine if they all decided to do that? Can you not see how society is constructed? Rather than assuming we all work in discombobulated cubicles with no link to the life you and your family live and others like you.

You could lose your job tomorrow in a heartbeat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

How do you know, shit happens.

Of course I see value in their professions. I've never said everyone should be a housewife!

Probably run back to her father for financial support...

@Autumndays123 I'd be interested in those stats too. I suspect that men are forced to see their wives value (rather than forgetting it) when they know they're still out there meeting new people, going out with work colleagues, making friends and acquaintances at work, and doing something fulfilling. It would be interesting to know if being a sahm increases the odds of being cheated on, traded in.

Because it goes against our fundamental beliefs? It's like asking a Jehovas Witness to get a blood transfusion.

You asked for opinions and you're getting them. Don't post looking for opinions if you don't want the answer.

If you were to ask a man or woman generally what traits or characteristics they find attractive in a partner, do you genuinely think anyone would say:

"oh yes I'd really like them to have zero work ethic. Preferably they'd rely on me for all financial needs and spend their days sitting around doing dishes and doing art"

Sound likely? Nope because a partner with no desire to work, no ambition and no drive is not attractive.

It's funny because it's the opposite round where I live! People view it as aspirational! It isn't for me but I can understand why a family would want it for themselves as I think the juggle is almost unsustainable with two parents working. I also think it's bloody hard work so I've got a lot of respect for women who do it. Plus it's a massive luxury to be able to afford it.

@AMorningstar I could get another and live of my savings until then.

Lol, I could say something very spiteful about sex, affairs and relationships and careers plus a lack of time and effort but I'll not stoop to that level

Good. I could say something equally spiteful about lazy bones with no work ethic who can't cope with the adult world but I won't stoop that low either.

Let's keep it classy.

You'd be surprised how many men want a stay at home wife and mother. Of course, men wanting it isn't a reason to do it if you don't want to, but you're wrong about that

You call other people boring but you come across as very nasty.

SAHM parents are allowed to discuss culture, science, politics. You aren’t special just because you go off to your job every day. Your job might be mind numbingly boring. it doesn’t make you better than them.

it’s also very depressing how you’re projecting your feelings onto your children. I don’t mind what my children do as long as they’re happy and fulfilled. If they decide they want to be SAHP and they and their partners are content with this then I support them. What a shame you are already judging your childrens potential life choices @Autumndays123.

She will be in a stronger position to get another unlike yourself with gaps in your CV.

this apparent odyssey of self-actualisation that is dealing with admin and being at home to let the tradesmen in?
Butchy, self-actualisation, aka fully developing your abilities, deep creativity and realising your potential.
You know, being fulfilled, joyful and at peace.
Bit odd to focus on tradesmen, though? Do you have to make them go to the back door in case the neighbours see them? 👀

So? If I lost my job tomorrow I could live off my savings for a couple years. Savings I've been able to accumulate because I've held a full time job for a decade. Like a functional adult.

Also, i'd have another job lined up in no time, because I'm educated and experienced in my field.

And THAT is financial freedom!

Funny how you don't say anything about the spiteful comments towards SAHM and housewives

Yes it's your family's choice @AMorningstar . As long as you are happy with your choice and are not making yourself financially vulnerable, you do you.

Maybe my kids are brought up wrong but they admire my high earning husband a lot more than myself who do a valuable yet poorly paid job (relatively) . However I remember when they had to write about a person they admire the most at school, my 8 year old daughter wrote about me and my role ....

Mumsnet is always a bit deluded with this, in that they think everyone who works has savings that could last years and years when that in itself is a privileged position. The average person doesn't have that, so being a housewife would make no difference as they wouldn't have it anyway.

Your fundamental beliefs in the sanctity of marriage and family? Which from your only other posts include a husband who uses porn and you approve of women being objectified in this way.

Interesting combination of values.

These threads always remind me of the poster many moons ago who justified how difficult being a SAHP is compared to working full-time and listed out her regular chores on her to-do list which included things like "organise photo albums" and "ring the dentist" 😂

Nailed it.

@AMorningstar but they would have a cv a reference and experience.