To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

It’s a combination of pure jealousy because frankly who wouldn’t want to give up work to spend time with those that you love if you have the opportunity, but it can also be concern.
i’ve been in both situations and if it was my children who was stay at home girlfriends mothers wives whatever at the back of my mind I would be nervous as to what happens if the rugs pulled out from underneath them.

Men dont shit on other men half as much

Please read a history textbook.

A lot. His sacrifices enable us to have a wonderful lifestyle, which I am very grateful for. I've actually asked him to cut his hours because I think we'd be fine with less money but he wants us to maintain our current lifestyle.

The idea he could laze around at his job half the time if I also worked is pretty funny lol.

Women appear to be everything at the moment breadwinners, the primary care giver, cook, cleaner and candle stickmaker

I largely don't give a shit who does what as long as they just get on with it. But I'd be disappointed if the young girls I know and love aspired to be a housewife because it would show total lack of ambition or desire to achieve something.

I was more pointing out how stupid stereotypes exist about everyone and we could all make reductive comments about others. Basically saying that it's a daft, pointless thing to do.

@AMorningstar if you believe that women need to be kinder to each other then please allow mn-ers to warn vulnerable women not to give up work/have a child without being married/marry an arsehole. If you're genuinely certain that you're OK then great, but please, be cool, and let 'us' issue the warnings that do need to be issued and heeded. Not once have you responded to my posts on this thread. It's like you have a narrative that everybody's attacking your lifestyle and if somebody says, but hey, just be selfless for a moment, not everybody is as financially shored up in that lifestyle as you are, so, let the warnings be issued, that would really be kinder to more women. It's like for you this is just an IMAGE issue. The image of being a housewife and how it's perceived when for the vast majority of women there is so much more at stake.

I completely agree. It’s horrible.

Probably wouldn't want to be dependent on one person in this economic climate.

Wow, that’s awful! And so much pressure. Most people aren’t a housewife full stop. They might just be a housewife for a short period of time when they have kids.

Surely you want your kids happy and not pushed into whatever route you want for them? Shaming women for this is horrible.

I think it is mostly the vulnerability which is a concern.

Financially, not working makes you vulnerable. And, based on MN threads, I'd say that there is a growing trend for father's, post-divorce, to go for 50:50 custody, and then they don't have to pay child maintenance - I believe. It become imperative to work, and that is not easy if you haven't been putting yourself in the mindset, for employment.

I think it must be very nice, much of the time, but you have to be conscious and vigilant to read whether your partner thinks you are not doing much/enough, because then, I think, you can gain problems and relationship misunderstandings.

I agree women shouldn't marry arseholes. I'm surprised at the amount of women who say things like their husbands don't do night feeds for example, erm they're their kids too why should it only be the woman...

But career women shouldn't marry arseholes either.

Everything I said is true. How is being a housewife or a SAHP with school aged kids not the very definition of laziness? You sit around drinking tea and making a big thing about all the house work you do, when in reality, working women do what you do and hold down a full time job.

I'd like to see some statistics on affairs where the other partner is a SAHP. I imagine quite quickly losing interest in someone with no work ethic and high levels of bone idleness. I imagine this is one of the reasons why workplace affairs start, as colleagues become more attractive than the OH at home who spent the day dusting.

That’s a horrible thing to say about your daughter. Basically doing the same thing as women who are disappointed in their daughters for not having children or for being working mums. 🙄

@AMorningstar what would you do if god forbids your oh leaves you?

What an awful comment.

If someone said "if my daughter aspired to be a corporate drone I'd feel like I failed as a parent" (not something I actually think), people would complain. Whys it okay to say about housewives?

Yep. The truly nasty posts come in. Just making people look bitter and like they have something to prove.

The hilarious this is it’s these daughters who are probably going to fight their parents on this, crumble under the pressure and give up work anyway.

God yes, can't imagine my daughter saying that. Although I would kill myself laughing first!

Lol, I could say something very spiteful about sex, affairs and relationships and careers plus a lack of time and effort but I'll not stoop to that level.

@AMorningstar because you have nothing to do that other people don't do while working.
It's not a job!
It's a choice that makes you financially vulnerable.
Your whole life is funded by your husband.
He could take it away in a heartbeat.