To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

What drives you to post on SAHM threads Topgub? I've seen you before. Do you know a lot of SAHMs in real life? Did a SAHM once do or say something to you in real life? I'm interested to understand what bothers you enough to be posting about them all the time? Do you know?

Then why are you bitching about other women not wanting to work

This is completely fair and a much more powerful/ reasonable portrayal/ argument for division of labour than the one OP is making, where she denigrates working mothers and says she is too tired to work and enjoys her freedom , gobies and superior relationship.

She's always on them. She's bitter, there's no other reason.

@cagliari

Waves.

Yes, I've seen you before too.

How many name changes are you on now? 50? 1000?

This thread is about housewives.

I'm mainly posting because the ops hypocrisy is amusing.

Never seen anything nasty about being a SAHM.
Wouldn't interest me if I did. #shrugs.

@AMorningstar

Could you quote where I have bitched about women not wanting to work?

You moaned about the comments I made that I think a career is depressing and I don't want to slave away. Never said you shouldn't do it if you want to!

@AMorningstar

No.

I didn't moan. I asked you to validate your point.

That wasn't me bitching about women who don't want to work.

Can you find the quote?

What do you think I'm bitter about?

But I'll try to summarise it as less stress and more time to dedicate to the relationship in multiple ways including physically.

well you seem to be treating mumsnet like a full time job,😂

TheKeatingFive - yes, but again, how many SAHMs and their husbands do you actually know in real life?

It's ok if you don't know many / any. The point is, people have a hierarchy of needs and people don't tend to live in a way that would make them or their children less happy because of general statistics. We all make decisions in our own specific financial contexts. If you can afford to be a SAHM and it won't make you financially vulnerable in the short or long term or in the event of divorce - then you might well decide to do just that. If not, don't do it (or don't do it indefinitely / have a plan).

Ain't Mumsnet a funny place.

Start a thread asking for peoples opinions then accuse anyone that has a different opinion of being jealous and/or bitter.

🤯

What about the kids? 😳

@TartanGirl1

Hilarious 😂

I think you were piqued by the comments of women on the other thread saying they’d be upset if their daughters chose dependence on a man, or worse, didn’t choose it, so started this thread to try to put the boot in to women who work to try to make yourself feel better. Secure people don’t react that way. You’ve thrown plenty of unprovoked punches at individual posters on here.

The problem is, behaving that way is playing right into the hands of a patriarchal society in which women are already ‘wrong’ and already on the back foot, whatever we do. We need to unite, not fucking in-fight and attack each other.

Topgub - would you describe yourself as tolerant of people with different views to your own?

Well as the op has been hard at it on here since 7am I’m guessing someone else is dealing with these “kids”_🤣

but again, how many SAHMs and their husbands do you actually know in real life?

30? Around that.

From more working class / lower middle backgrounds. Not the ones you're talking about I presume.

We all make decisions in our own specific financial contexts

Of course, the point is that many women choosing to stay at home don't do so with full understanding of the consequences. Hence all the women on here panicking about pensions at a later stage in life. Lack of financial education is a huge problem generally, but becomes seriously problematic for lower/middling income women
who leave the workforce without understanding the long term consequences.

So he puts in 40 hours at work and on top of that he does 50% of chores and parenting? He must be a true unicorn.

OP is a perfect example of ‘lady doth protest too much’.

Never has anyone been so defensive about their life choice so as to start a thread spoiling for a fight.

There is more OP’s story than meets the eye. This is not the behaviour of a normal person wanting a normal discussion.

@cagliari

Depends on the views and the situation

I never said that though did I?

That’s a separate discussion.

Its a distraction technique from the sexism I outlined, to bring that in at this point.

Never mind the OP. Some people have been on here for years droning on about SAHMs. It's like a second career fir them.

50% of anything left over when he's not working, I do most of it when he's at work. A unicorn because I have a good husband? Hilarious.

@YeahmetooJill

Oh sorry I must have missed the bit in your post where you said equal numbers of women benefits from these house elves.