To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

Difference is I woke up naturally and am lying in bed, not having to be rushed or on anyone else's schedule.

Define "trad wife" - that sometimes has connotations of racism and Christianity, neither of which apply to me. If you just literally mean traditional housewife then sure.

I didn't intentionally start a fight either. I responded to people being spiteful

I noticed that too!

@AMorningstar
You are not quite 30 and have young children. You are not a housewife, as yet, but a SAHP.

Give it 10 years when all your children may be a secondary school or even 20 years when they have left for uni, if we were going to say your kids are for some reason exceptionally reliant on you as teenagers.

You will only be 50. Then I will see you only as housewife.

Do you think your husband would be equally happy to have the burden of supporting you whilst you take life easy? Please don’t tell me yes of course, because you discussed it 20 years ago. People change- so you can’t rely on this. At present you are looking after your children.

No-one goes into marriage thinking they are going to divorce or be unfaithful. But life happens.

I've actually rarely met anyone with typical MN views irl. The Halloween thread where peoole think tricks or treating is begging for example, I've never heard anyone under about 65 say that and everyone I know loves it and does it with their kids. MN is wild

What a bizarre thread. It’s like OP made a choice that she is deeply insecure about and wants strangers to validate it. Some
of her responses sounds like they come from someone very immature.

We have discussed it - people do change but fundamental values usually remain, that's like saying someone could discuss not having kids and then change their mind 10 years in - technically possible but would be very unfair to do so.

Not even remotely, but if you have to imagine I'm insecure to feel better wbour yourself, crack on

It has come across that way. I believe you’re happy with your choice but the way you’ve posted and volume of posts does seem a little insecure.

Not true. Most young people vote Labour but as they get older they gravitate towards Conservative view points.

Bit of an assumption. When he's not at work he does 50% of the chores and childcare. He did most of the night feeds when the kids were babies too.

So not working means your safe from divorce? Hmm. I smell bollocks.

No but leas stress certainly helps a marriage be more sucessful.

How long are you going to attend to this thread, OP? It’s such a demand on your time. That sounds sarky but it’s not. You’ve posted an awful lot. When you’re easily tired, and want to spend your time doing things you enjoy like resting and painting and being present for your family, I cannot understand why you’d start a MN thread, stay up late posting on it getting into squabbles, start posting again early in the morning, and post nearly 200 messages. 😐

This.

This!

I couldn't give a shit whether you could understand it or not to be honest, what a condescending comment. I don't have to justify anything to you.

I think two parents working becoming the norm has increased the costs of living and led to less value being placed upon the family, kids having worse childhoods (several causes of this, not solely two parents working) and more stress. I don't think any of this means women should ve forced to be housewives though and I said earlier I fully support men who want to stay at home and be househusbands or SAHDs

I've it read your first and last thread and by doing so, it's obvious you've fallen into doing exactly what you are accusing people of doing. You are defending your lifestyle but doing so, criticizing those making a different choice.

I guess practice what you preach would be accurate here.

OP you don't have to justify your choice. Why are you trying to? If you, your OH and kids are happy, you're on a winner. That doesn't mean it would apply to others but if course it isn't right to tell you you've got it wrong.

I don't see staying in an unhappy marriage as positive but I think people choose their partners unwisely, give more attention to the wedding than the marriage and don't put the effort in. This goes for both men and women. Marriage and relationships are seen as disposable.

I don't have an issue with women who've chosen to work, I simply shot back with the same level of venom that was directed towards me. I don't actually have a problem with it.