To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

Not sure. I would absolutely love to be a SAHM - I know that the memories I have on my deathbed will be of the precious time I spent with my kids, not the hours and hours I was at work. I can’t afford it though sadly so work is my only option.

The fact you keep mentioning TV, when I don't even watch it, is again showing a lack of imagination on your part.

The OP never called anyone jealous or claimed that, that was me who said that

Just to add that I’m very envious of anyone who is an SAHM by choice - you don’t know how lucky you are!

Why the fuck do women always have to be a ‘role model to young girls’.

In any event, she’s doing what makes her happy - pretty good message to send IMO.

Yes, it's impossible for them to have previously had their own caree. Ambition is also very important in a person...

I literally only said it once, to one person, who accuaed my husband of having an affair because i mentioned he was vocal about how important faithfulness is in a relationship. I cannot see any other reason someone would see that and say "well I bet he's having an affair anyway" thats just bitterness

Guess what. Many many men all of this too nowadays. My DH does the school run 3 days a week and works for a city firm. I manage a team and some of them are mothers like me. We do a lot, but we can fit all in around our kids and still finish work on time.

Times have changed. Presenteeism isn't performance.

Men don't get asked if they're role models to young boys, or if their careers are helping men as a group, or if they represent all men. Men get to just live.

For the second time I didn't say he was having an affair. 🙄 Go back and read my previous comment.

I too don’t understand why slaving away in some mediocre job (which let’s face it, is what the vast majority of us do) is somehow preferable to spending time with our kids.

You heavily implied it.

It isn't for the most part but bills aren't something we can opt out of paying.

I have a 2 year old and am expecting our 2nd. I have a part-time job I'm lucky enough to enjoy, but would gladly give up working to be a SAHM if we could afford it. I'm not married either. Yes, it would be difficult down the line if me and the OH were to break up, but I'd manage. And I'd have had all those years with my boys at home.

As for women having fulfilling careers - obviously some do (and you're more likely to if you actually go to work), but most of the jobs I've had have been absolute balls. Not fulfilling or empowering at all. I can only imagine how bleak it must be to be stuck somewhere like this if you had children at home, wishing you were with them... 😟Not the feminist dream.

Everyone should be supported in their choices. Perhaps we should be campaigning for better childcare options for working parents, alongside better rights for SAHP who have separated from their partners?

Depends on what type of person you are and what type of work. I am someone who burns out quickly. I'm very introverted and don't like any sort of pressure. I tire of socialising quite quickly. I prefer a simple, slower pace of life. I'm not someone who likes to constantly be busy or always chasing achievements. Instead I prefer the freedom to live as I wish and to be my own person.

In which case being a housewife is perfect for you. It is something that fulfills you and falls within your aspirations.

The OP does not have to bow to your demands that she describe herself as lazy.

Why do you even care anyone? It seems you reeeeeally want the OP to call herself lazy?

OP there is a school of thought in some people’s lives (and I see it loads on MN) that younger people shouldn’t have life better than they had it. The whole “I had to suffer why shouldn’t you”. I think that’s probably what’s at play here with the odd poster.

It’s amazing how defensive people get on this type of thread though. Anyone who is truly happy with their choice (whether SAHM or career woman) is probably not going to be posting on here!

Sounds like you are living the good life to be fair.

No no, the options are lazy ambitionless never had a job SAHM, or high flying six figure salary rewarding career, nothing normal in between

I would say so.

….I’m confused…what else would they call her?!

Work means many things, including but not exclusively ‘paid employment’.

The fact you keep mentioning TV, when I don't even watch it, is again showing a lack of imagination on your part.

I think you protest too much 😉
My apologies I was certain you said you watched daytime TV.

@nonono1

I'm truly happy with my choices.

I still find gender politics fascinating

@QS90

I have absolutely no interest in supporting everyone in their choices.

Why should I?

You do you hun, but if I think its a sack of shit, if you ask (as the op did) then I'll say so.