To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

You’re aware that many full time jobs aren’t actually bums on seats grinding away for 40 hours a week right?

I work full time, earn 6 figures yet do about 2-3 hours of actual work a day

Same applied to most I work with and 90% of my family and friends who have office based WFH roles.

Haven't RTFT but honestly I'd be another one who would be devastated if my daughters only ambition in life was to be a SAHM/Housewife. I just want so much more for her than that.
I absolutely value raising a family but I also value independence and a career, learning, challenging. I hope she finds a balance that makes her happy and allows her to enjoy all aspects of life.

I'd actually love him to have more free time as I don't think he gets enough. If we became millionaires overnight he'd quit and never look back.

Yes but those other hours are wasted, you could be doing something you actually enjoyed.

Do you have kids?

How long did your oh pause his career for?

I actually enjoy my job

I still do everything you do but also work and earn well. I’m financially secure, my kids spend as much time with me as they will do with you, I still get to paint and do all the other hobbies I enjoy. But also work.

You seem to have very strong opinions on something you have no experience of. Which is a little strange

How did you get enough sleep doing that? Genuine question. I'm glad it makes you happy, I really am, but it's not the only way

Yes a lot of hypocrisy on this thread!

I get longer to do it though.

If you enjoy it crack on - good for you, I mean that. It doesn't mean those of us who have other priorities or preferences are wrong.

What benefits are there to your family of being a housewife once your DC are grown and flown? I can understand the benefits for the person doing it but if you start from the perspective that a household is a team with everyone contributing how’s that the same?

For specifically when kids are grown: Home cooked meals, chores done, appointments managed, someone in for deliveries/tradespeople, less stressed so can put more effort into the relationship and family.

I find this laughable tbh.

Not working, so you can do home cooked meals. And manage appointments etc

I work and I can do all the things you site as benefits.

I can make appointments and be available for deliveries with no problem.

I think a lot depends on the type of career or job you have tbh.

But she's able to pursue her hobby of painting presumably Holly and Phil from memory

I slept when they were in school and went back to bed for an hour when they went to bed, before I went to work.
Now my body clock is naturally set the 5 or 6 hour sleep and I'm fine.
Early mornings and late nights don't bother me, although I try and get an early night midweek.

Well done. What do you do for your next trick, count to ten?

Looking after children may not be paid employment but I feel sorry for you if you only ever value paid employment and not caring roles.

@TartanGirl1

As always eh?

I would struggle on 5 hours every night for days on end. But glad it worked for you genuinely.

Again showing a lack of imagination. I don't even watch TV lol.

Many people, including you, have been exceptionally rude to the OP. Why didn’t YOU ‘rise above it’? OP is not a child, she shouldn’t have to tolerate nastiness and then be nice back.

Putting aside the delivery thing- I would be interested in your response to this @AMorningstar
Why is it ok for your DH to solely take on the tribulations of working life? Also - would he not be interested in engaging more in childcare if you didn’t have to just rely on his income? If you shared paid work - he could spend more quality time with children or indeed for himself?

A thread about nastiness towards housewives and all the nastiness seems to be towards working mums... 🤔

🤯

I’m amazed by all these posters who work in ‘very senior’ roles, full time, and still do school runs and dictate when and where they work.

What do you actually DO?! If you’re full time, how can you work between school runs? Don’t you make up for it? If not then don’t you feel bad that your work are paying you a full time wage for part time hours?

@TartanGirl1

As always.

🤣

Important point, and irony, is that OP isn't looking after her children, a teacher is employed to do that. She does a few domestic duties.

I work from home and do everything you do, OP, as do most of the rest of people in paid employment (aside from telly watching).

I've posted this a couple of times but i have offered to work part time before - he knows I don't want to but I've suggested he cut his hours and either I get a small job or we make do without it, because we could.

He doesn't want to. He'd love to not work but he doesn't want me working when he knows my heart isn't in it and he also doesn't want to sacrifice our lifestyle.

So it's not like I force him to do this or anything.