To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

@AMorningstar do you say " nothing Nobel about work" to your husband as he works to fund your lifestyle?
Now I definitely know this is a wind up thread.
Hilarious 😂

And yet you're happy for your husband to submit to the enemy that is employment in order to subsidise his wife who fills her day with important tasks like answering the door to deliveries and being well rested

He doesn't think there's anything noble about work either. He also think it's sad when people's identities comes from their careers. He also believes it benefits our family to structure it this way

You're really hung up on this delivery thing - I mentioned it in a list of several advantages, as a rather minor one at that. Its weird that you've clung to it like it was my main motivation for giving up work lmao

My identity is not defined by my job@AMorningstar . It's just how I pay for my share of stuff.
I enjoy my job and enjoy my free time.
I have a good balance.

I've only been nasty to women who've been nasty to me. Don't start none, won't be none.

I didn’t say you couldn’t retaliate to nasty comments. I said you retaliated to all working parents, which you did. You made nasty sweeping statements as a response to people who were rude about your individual situation . Unclear why as plenty of working parents said they supported your thread. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

My second sentence clearly says everyone should make their own choices!! Any personal comments to you - as an individual or SAHM - is unacceptable and nasty.

Do you work full time?

I work 40 hours a week.
When the children were little I worked 36.

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

I agree with this. I would be very disappointed, but I know my daughters won't choose that path.

I want my daughters to be financially independent and be able to earn her own money, not be dependent on a man. Situations of dependency give rise to contempt

My daughters are currently in university. It would be a waste of time, money and effort, if they didn't have a career. My husband and I are giving hefty financial support to them, so I absolutely expect them not to be SAHMs.

I've seen enough threads on here and known of situations IRL, where women are in awful relationships but can't leave due to finances and continue being mistreated and abused.

I struggle to imagine a good work life balance with that, for anyone. I can understand how part time could do it

Why do you care what other people think of you're unemployment @AMorningstar ?

Because NHS jobs are just a stress free doddle.

Id rather be a SAHM 100 times than work for the NHS again.

Because I think women should support and respect other women and theres been an increase in vitriol towards housewives recently.

My mum retrained at 40 to work for the NHS. Absolutely regretted it, says she wished she hadn't. The stress and nasty behaviour was insane.

@AMorningstar

Yet you clearly don't support or respect women who work.

🤷‍♀️

It's not that hard to achieve. It really isn't. If your DH can, you best believe many of us can.

Yes I think anyone CAN be nasty, but I don't think it was the stay at home mums here who started anything. Some of the comments from other women were quite rude and provocative

Yes exactly. And can you see that maybe where some of the criticism comes from?
You are defending your lifestyle as valuable - presenting it as preferable (from your personal standpoint) to working. Yet you must acknowledge that , while many women work for pleasure/ fulfilment, the majority work because they have to-
to support themselves and their families- to survive. This is why you come across to many in your posts as lazy and entitled (and superior in your comments about mothering / kids and your relationship).
Many working women may tire easily, wish they could be at home etc, but they work because they need to.
If you want to defend the value of SAH parents/ wives (whose roles ARE valuable) it might be better to focus on all the important/ hard/ exhausting labour you are doing , rather than your superior opportunities for “freedom”, “rest”, pursuit of “hobbies”, and how your natural disposition is ill-suited for arduous labour.

I hate,if her career was so important that she didn't want to pause it even if she could then I would questions why did she want DC?

@AMorningstar I'm home for 4 pm every day so I have lots of time in the evening and every weekend.
When the children were little I went to work at 10pm till 6 am. I was here for all school drop offs, pick ups, breakfast, dinner, reading, playing, bath and bed.
I've always been lucky to find jobs around my children.
I'm working more now as the goal is to retire earlier and travel