To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

I love this post!

We haven’t moved on to anything

The op claimed if she looked after other people’s kids as a nursery worker she’d be considered respectable.

I’m merely stating that’s not quite accurate

@TheHouseonHauntedHill
I think firstly I am referring to people being housewives and not SAHPs.

Secondly, I think it depends on level of qualifications. Now that our children need to pay for university qualifications- I would hope they would use them. Otherwise if half the population were to become housewives / househusbands following uni- we will need to rethink your educational policy.

My children and family have benefitted from my extensive education, life experiences and work in many ways, not least by the lifestyle it has afforded them.

@AMorningstar but everything you choose to do is because your husband is a "wage slave" never home, doesn't have free time, not well rested.
Or does that only apply to working women?

Towards people who were rude.

and generally I do, but there seems to be an increase in it atm

No, she said he has loads of time and hobbies and interests. But apparently can't understand why people who can only find purpose in work (despite being in work himself and evidently able to find purpose elsewhere)

As ever it's all down to people individual circumstances.

My cousin is a sahm and I think her DH work whilst right now is extremely well paid is actually quite precarious.

I've tried to hint that I think she needs seperate savings and pensions but she doesn't seem to get it.
That her DH could have a break down, life changing accident, leave her ( unlikely) etc and everything is wrapped up in him.

Ideally a good balance is part time work if you need too and part time childcare.

My.dm was a sahm then worked and mil is a full time sahm but a very well off one and i can't see what she does because she doesn't volunteer or do anything, no hobbies, she has a cleaner etc no great socialising either...i'e flying off here and there.

But my dm was completely different and had a totally different experience

He works from home. I do wish he had more free time though!

🤦🏻‍♀️ I don't know if you're messing with us or not. You said virtually ten minutes ago that you can't deal with any pressure at all, work would be too exhausting for you etc etc. So instead you take it easy, never intend to work and make sure you're well rested. You don't think that falls within the definition at all? Particularly the bit that, you know, says unwilling to work?

Has it occurred to you that some working people might tire easily, not enjoy pressure and be home bodies? You seem to imply that the world is divided into those who are naturally suited to work and therefore work, and those who are naturally suited to staying at home, and therefore shouldn’t have to go to work?

Fucking hell, some rude bastards on here tonight.

I'm a SAHP and I've never heard anything like what you're describing (not in real life anyway). I'd be quick to tell them to mind their own frigging business if they dared. The only time I've seen it is on mumsnet, but I do see a lot of odd behaviour on here and I have to imagine it's the people who take some kind of offence to SAHPs are the type to comment on these sorts of threads.

Being a SAHP isn't for everyone but I waited years for my daughter and the baby years go by so fast. We are not rich by a long stretch but we can get by fine on my husbands wage. I couldn't give two hoots what other women want to do, this is what I've chosen and I'm very happy with my decision.

I stated earlier that having the choice to be a housewife is a privilege.

And you think that means I do no work in the home? I didn't think I'd need to specify PAID work was what I was referring to but here we are.

Probably because you’ve taught them that a woman is only worth the importance of her job title.

I actually hope you don’t have patients, you are utterly devoid of empathy and have no ability to see past black and white situations.

I’d also hate for my kids to see me as their best friend. They have friends their age. I’m their mum.

don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

I understand that different people enjoy different things just fine.

But I dont have to respect other people's decisions or choices.

Especially when I see no value in them.

And yet they still call her mum?

Doing the hoovering is not work OP fgs

You're the only person mentioning hoovering. But domestic work is still work. You choosing not to value it doesn't change that.

@AMorningstar work is paid employment not doing the pots

You started a thread about people making nasty statements about SAHMs. I 100% agree that it’s not ok - everyone deserves to make their own choices for their families. Yet, you have been spiteful and sarcastic about working parents.

You say it’s a response to comments to you but you’ve been nasty to working parents as a whole. Therefore, you’re just as nasty AND a hypocrite!

Plenty of things outside paid employment that are still work. But there's nothing particularly noble about work anyway. Someone mentioned earlier that this is almost puritan like the way some of you view it and they're absolutely right

So I can't retaliate? Interesting you don't call them out.

And if your DD wants to work and have a career? She should be stuck at home?