To not understand the nastiness that being a housewife provokes

[AMorningstar]

Not just on MN. I don't even use MN that often but I see this on other social media websites too. If a woman shares something positive about being a housewife it's full of comments about how "being controlled by a man, couldn't be me!" "No thanks, I love my independence" or "just wait until he leaves you, then what". If a woman shares something negative about it its "see, this is why being a housewife is TERRIBLE" (yet no one would say "this is why having a career is terrible!" If a person was complaining about their job)

I saw someone earlier say they'd be devastated if their daughter wanted to be a SAHM.

Why does it provoke such vitriol? Other women choosing this doesn't force anyone else to, I don't get the complete lack of respect for people's decisions and lack of understanding that different people enjoy different things.

But we all do that and work.
Like I said further up the thread.
You can work around children.
It's not impossible to work and do other things and look after children.

Yet I have more time to dedicate to mine than you do.

Not even remotely, I just ensured I didn't marry a waste of space BEFORE the wedding, rather than making a back up plan for afterwards because I couldn't choose right.

You're as happy working all day as you would be spending a day doing whatever you wanted? You're as happy living on someone else's schedule instead of having complete freedom? Yeah okay. I believe you.

Oh OP can you not see it, really?

Child 1: what does your mum do?
Child 2: she's a doctor, what about yours?
Child 1: my mum is a teacher. What about you child 3?
Child 3: my mum is well rested and goes for walks

Hahahaha

Jealousy and guilt?

I think one would have to have a specific kind of lifestyle for it

You married a man who needed his father in laws money for a house deposit.
What a catch 😂😂

Or you're claiming top up benefits. Another possibility.

@AMorningstar I love how you think no working women is their own boss or in charge of their schedule

Sadly that is not how anyone I know who grew up with housewife mothers sees it! We mostly just see them as having been a bit pathetic. I don't know about these days. Don't they just think their mums are unemployed?

It's weird you place so much value on labour actually. You get one life - you should be living it for yourself and how to maximise enjoyment, not throwing it away for capitalistic purposes.

Christ, you’re defensive OP.

You're clearly happy living on someone else's wallet so you can swan about being well rested. You think that's better?

I bet that career is real warm in bed at night.

I've been a SAHM and I've worked full time while the kids were in child care, neither of those roles is easy, far from it. If you're a SAHM you feel guilty for not contributing to the home financially and if you work you feel guilty for not being around for the kids. I always wanted to be a SAHM but when I was a I craved getting back to work and when I was at work I craved being at home.

Let's face it, us girls can never win, someone, usually other women, will judge us whatever we do. If a woman chooses to be a housewife, SAHM, kept woman, whatever, we should support each other, not tear each other down. Being a woman is bloody hard work dealing with sodding hormones let alone worrying about what people might think of our choices. If we aren't hurting anyone, should anyone really care?

Most could get another within a month

You couldn’t get a financially sound husband that wants to pay your way within a month if yours left

He is financially supporting you, though, and you are domestically supporting him! If you divorced or one of you died, both of you are potentially screwed- you’d suddenly lose your income , and he’d be left not knowing how to look after himself. This is what happens to so many individuals. I totally see the benefits of being a housewife, but I think you have to acknowledge the risks / drawbacks as well- (which are the main reasons why so many women are apposed in the interests of equality and independence for women).

I think you missed the point made by a pp who said that it doesn’t really make sense to be a hw in 2022 unless your husband is exceedingly wealthy- she didn’t mean it wasn’t potentially fulfilling or pleasant, she meant it’s inherently risky / unstable financially (unless DH is so rich that it could never be a concern that you would have little in case of divorce).

It's weird you place so much value on labour actually. You get one life - you should be living it for yourself and how to maximise enjoyment, not throwing it away for capitalistic purposes.

First time I've seen being a teacher or a doctor described as throwing one's life away for capitalistic purposes.

I went back to work when my child was a couple of months old. I adore my work. It gives me such fulfilment and earns me lots of lovely money.

Just because that isn’t for you, doesn’t mean I’m wrong.

You started this thread about people attacking SAHM, but you’re the one attacking working mothers. Why?

But it is not just for capitalistic purposes, it it? A doctor and a teacher work to save lives and teach the future generation.

Yeah Idk OP. I can see why someone would want to be around while the kids are little but why not go back to work, ever?

I know it would be wonderful to have unlimited time for hobbies and interests but it’s a very precarious position to be in. It’s also a bit unfair on the earner in the household.

I think what's "better" is what each family individually decides for themselves. I don't think there's one correct way to do it - but there's as many stupid stereotypes about those with careers as those who stay home so idk what you're trying to do here.

So on 31st August, the woman is merely doing the best for her family and exercising her right to choose, and the day after she’s lazy and embarrassing 🤣🤣🤣
Ridiculous.
There are so many bloody variables. One of my best friends a SAHM her kids are 13 and 10. However her DH works away a lot, her 10yo has issues around anxiety and it’s a mission to get him to school, her DD is on the track to play a professional sports and has countless matches and practices. Having to be at work at strict times would either mean my friend’s life was super stressful and she’d always be late, or that she’d have to give up her DD’s sport and make her DS’s anxiety much worse by adding the stress of getting to work.

What an embarrassing lazy woman, I will ditch her as a friend immediately.

But I guess it suits the dimwits of MN better to imagine SAHMs with school aged children just spend their days getting manicure and polishing their DH’s shoes

We don't all marry a sugar daddy. Many families need both parents working to provide for the children. 🙄

I went back to work when they we a few months old, that was 22 odd years ago.

I've "attacked" individuals who attacked me or my husband. I've repeatedly said that each family should choose what's right for them and there's no one correct way. Very selective reading.