Sunday dinner ... Guilt.

[Rabbitheadlights]

Asking really to find out what the hell is wrong with me? I make a roast on a Sunday EVERY week and not just a basic one either, Rain or Shine, hell or high water in sickness and health.

But my kids don't really care they can take it or leave it.

So why if I don't do it, do I feel this weird guilty type feeling, asthough I'm letting them down somehow? It's ridiculous!

Don't put so much pressure on yourself.

I love a Sunday roast but haven't made one for months. Sunday is the day of the week we always have off work and so we normally spend the day as a family going out rather than staying home to cook and eat a big dinner. My kids aren't massive fans either so probably wouldn't eat that much of it.

For me Sunday roast is a special treat you occasionally have at a pub on a Sunday. It's a day out.

@WaddleAway the meat was cooked early and served cold ..and we ate at 2/3pm . No lies ins in our house ! Up for church 🤣

Enjoying all the work involved in a full roast dinner sounds bonkers to me. How can most people afford one anyway theses days?

My mum used to make a roast every Sunday until we were about 16 and stayed out late Saturday night, so a sleep in on Sunday morning was called for. Obviously we weren't hungry for a big lunch so my mum stopped making it. You should too.

Yes. Martyr Syndrome. Chillax no one cares.

Ok to clarify I don't see any link between the cooking of a roast and what is or is not a good mum.

So why the guilt then?

I do the full Sunday roast on the first Sunday of every month the kids will usually come home from uni for it and we have various friends that come as well. The only rule I make is that I need to know by Weds who is coming so I can order the meat as it can vary from a meal for four up to about twelve. Usually a roast sirloin always with cauliflower cheese and by special request from the youngest I make pigs in blankets I know they don't really go with beef but everyone devours them!

Like a cult for slightly dried out meats.

This made me snort laughing! it's so true. Why did the U.K. decide that roasts were the thing for tradition? I guess meat is expensive so it was special, no other reason.

Anyway, nobody needs to be beholden to the roast. We only get one life so do what you want in your own home for your family.

So only 2 of the 5 of you like it and you still keep doing it? bonkers!

No idea why you feel guilty.

Yes it's Wife (and mother) Work.

Our children are seven and three and the only time they've ever eaten a roast dinner is at my parent's house. We're usually out and about on Sundays, and take a picnic, have food out or grab something quick before we leave. Sundays are my husband's one day off, and I can't think of anything more depressing than being stuck in the kitchen cooking on the one day we have together as a whole family. My children aren't remotely bothered. My mother, however (a religious roast cooker) thinks this is tantamount to child abuse, and would spend hours every Sunday growing up shut in the kitchen, slaving over a meal nobody cared about.

@Rabbitheadlights you made it sound like a terrible burden which you were desperate to be freed from, which is why my first answer mentioned the Motherhood as Martyrdom trope.

I’m glad you’ve solved the issue - if you love doing it and it’s a part of your contented Sunday ritual then you keep right on doing it! It doesn’t matter that your children are indifferent - everything doesn’t have to be for them; you can just do this for you, because it makes you happy!

I, too, love planning/cooking/eating/sharing a roast and we have one most weeks from autumn right through to spring. It’s just the two of us now, unless we have company, but it’s no hardship and we both love a good roast so everyone’s happy! However we also happily skip it here and there if we don’t fancy it - there’s no need to be overly rigid with these things.

My children always request a roast dinner when they visit, which makes me very happy and contented.

Do what you love!

P.S. hearing about the frankly quite horrible sounding roasts some people make and expect their children to eat (dried out meat??) makes me fully understand why so many people hate them...

I like a roast but I’d be thoroughly bored if I had to eat one every Sunday.

There are loads of things to cook instead. Sometimes I’ll make a macaroni cheese or a chicken pie, or toad in the hole, or a corn beef plate pie (which my DC would eat over a roast any day). Or slow cook something. A home made pie is one of the nicest things.

There are loads of options for a Sunday dinner. I never get this ‘we must have a roast’.

We eat all those things as weekday meals. We also eat a huge variety of dishes from all sorts of cuisines. So having a roast every week or so is a nice constant throughout, really. And we roast different meats in different ways and make lots of different sides, so it never gets boring. It’s by no means a hard and fast rule though - we skip it if we wish. I also don’t always do a traditional roast - I’m quite happy to do fusion foods once in a while to mix it up a bit. A south Asian inspired roast chicken, for example, with spiced roast potatoes and curried sides. Or the same but with a Japanese twist. Of course some would say that’s not a roast at all and I understand that but I’m not a purist. If it’s roasted and comes with roast or mashed potatoes, vegetable sides and some kind of gravy or sauce then I consider it a roast!

My Mum always made one and I never appreciated it. I just don’t like them very much. DH and I sometimes do it (him 2/3 of if the time, I’d say) because he likes them but I don’t expect the DC to be ecstatic about it- it’s just food .. and I do find most meals quite dull and I think they do too (we’re not really “foodies”).
I don’t know why you’d feel guilt about not doing it really. I feel guilt when I feel like my DC don’t eat enough or I didn’t provide enough veg, but when they’re eating something they like well enough that pretty good for them, job done!

(Obviously that’s easier for us to do than for many as we don’t have young children in school/clubs/god knows what else and we both work from home/are home every day, so slow cooking isn’t a weekend option only! So I do understand that for many it would by necessity fall under the Weekend cooking category.)

Sunday roasts aside (meh) I feel so much nostalgia for Sundays - Last of the Summer Wine, the smell of the iron on all afternoon preparing for the week - all of that.

Make something different bt don't say anything and gage the reaction. If the kids are meh then carry on making what you want on sundays

@BeyondMyWits You sound lovely x

@Tamrastarr , I had a really crappy day at work today, your kind comment has really lifted my spirits... thank you.