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Original poster

Am I stingy? Boyfriend says i am?

390 replies

llpoolj · 29/10/2022 17:39

My boyfriend lives with me.
He earns £700 more than me a month.
He is always "skint"
He said he needed £20 for his phone.
So I said "il take it out of my savings account,just give me it on Monday when you get paid"
So then today he borrows another £10 and says so that's £310 I owe you Monday (£300 half of rent and bills )
I say no £330 ...£20 for phone too
He said "really ,your going to take that off me"
"I only topped up because you wanted me too"
(He didn't -he told me he needed to top up"
So he says "you know I would give you my last"
I said I buy you so much
I spent £10 buying him McDonald's today,I bought the food all week
I spent £170 last week on concert tickets for his birthday -then 2 hoodies for his birthday.
I reminded him of this and he says "no you can't class the tickets for my birthday -you wanted to go too"
I also bought us Xmas pjs for £30 two days ago

So how does he have the audacity to say I'm tight?
I just wanted it back to in my savings.
I'm feeling shitty and horrible now
I'm honestly not tight -I just don't want to get the mick took out of me

We go on holiday in two weeks
I've bought the sun tan lotion,after sun,case straps ,case locks ,luggage tags ,case scales,I bought him shorts for holiday and 2 tees and god knows what else

OP posts:
Nevertouchakoala · 29/10/2022 22:37

you don’t sound stingy. Sorry he’s making you feel this way

Longleggedgiraffe · 29/10/2022 22:37

Why are you still with him? It's not going to get better.

FreshCop · 29/10/2022 22:59

I have a friend who was with a guy like this for over 10+ years, bled her dry and left her in tons of debt and with a shit credit score.

He would use her to pay for all sorts of expensive clothes for him, car finance, those in store credit cards, bills and rent.

He was on minimum was and was a lazy sod.

He targetted her when she was just 17 and he was mid 20’s, these sorts of men can ruin your life and specifically target women they can manipulate.

Fairylightsongs · 29/10/2022 23:08

FreshCop · 29/10/2022 22:59

I have a friend who was with a guy like this for over 10+ years, bled her dry and left her in tons of debt and with a shit credit score.

He would use her to pay for all sorts of expensive clothes for him, car finance, those in store credit cards, bills and rent.

He was on minimum was and was a lazy sod.

He targetted her when she was just 17 and he was mid 20’s, these sorts of men can ruin your life and specifically target women they can manipulate.

It’s incredibly sad. There is women who will literally pay a man to be with them. Instead of looking for a loving relationship they will simply pay for it. I don’t think the op is that womam though, I mean, ok. she is right now, and let’s face it, might decide to continue to pay him to pretend to be with her, but it’s not what she wants.

LuckyStone · 29/10/2022 23:26

Gosh he is disgusting
Why the F are you with him. Please dump him

Motnight · 29/10/2022 23:43

llpoolj · 29/10/2022 17:43

@Itsallyellow22 he won't buy anything ,then he will complain that I have new clothes and he has nothing.
I can't win

You could win by getting rid of him to be honest

Fairylightsongs · 29/10/2022 23:47

LuckyStone · 29/10/2022 23:26

Gosh he is disgusting
Why the F are you with him. Please dump him

Because there are women with such low self esteem they will pay for it. Rather than be with someone who wants to be with them, they will pay them. The op is being treated so badly, she knows it. It remains to be seen if she will have the ability to end it and walk away or if she’ll continue to pay him to pretend to be with her,

Excusemedo · 30/10/2022 00:30

You are worth so much more , hopefully you’ll find the strength to rid yourself of this controlling person , he really doesn’t deserve you .

PinkSyCo · 30/10/2022 02:09

He’s a piss taker and you’re a mug.

Paq · 30/10/2022 04:17

You're not stingy, he's a cocklodger. Stop subsidising him!

explain · 30/10/2022 05:35

I've learned my lesson with this situation after being stung many times. STOP GIVING MEN MONEY!

First of all, you're not his mum. Second of all, it's so unattractive for him to be happy borrowing money from you, I don't care if its a pound or £20! I think you need to learn how to say no or get rid of him. He earns for than you and I bet he is probably stashing away his money whilst doing the bare minimum with you. Eugh!

auntiemabelisveryable · 30/10/2022 05:42

Sounds like he is stingy but turning it around to make it appear that it is you!

Sunshineguy · 30/10/2022 06:53

Get rid.

ehb102 · 30/10/2022 06:53

So "you're stingy" can join "you're too sensitive", "you're fat" and "you're frigid".on the list of thing said to women to control them.

Teeturtle · 30/10/2022 07:05

llpoolj · 29/10/2022 17:43

@Itsallyellow22 he won't buy anything ,then he will complain that I have new clothes and he has nothing.
I can't win

The correct response to that would be to shrug and perhaps say well get yourself off shopping then.

To be honest, I would hate to be living with somebody and then have to be keeping track of every single thing and splitting exactly down the middle. I would do that with flat mates, not with a partner. With a partner I would split the big bills and expect everything else to naturally balance out fairly.

That isn’t happening in your relationship though, you are quibbling over £20 (and I say quibble as I would never ask partner / husband for £20 back) but yet you are paying for all the food, buying him clothes and going way over the top on birthday gifts. Yes I think he is taking advantage of you, but the £20 on phone top off is not the main issue here, everything else is. Oh and he is the stingy one.

Parmesam · 30/10/2022 07:11

Chuck him out. What an utter waste of space.

ineedakickupthe · 30/10/2022 07:38

The future is bleak with this one.

Ginger1982 · 30/10/2022 08:28

Urgh, why are you with him??

Taxanimal · 30/10/2022 17:40

This is not a good relationship, he’s taking advantage and you’re clearly bitter because of all the details of expenses. Dump him.

Callmesadie · 30/10/2022 17:46

If he earns £700 more, where is his money going? On another woman?!
Does he ever treat you?

If not, he wants a mommy figure! Ditch him!

Georgeskitchen · 30/10/2022 17:51

What are you getting out of this relationship except a shitload of grief?
Kick the cocklodger out

PUGMEISTER21 · 30/10/2022 17:53

Do you live together. If you do I would sit down with him and look at all your finances to budget for the best way forward. Financial arguments are always difficult. If he earns more than you I would stop bailing him out.

ThistleTits · 30/10/2022 17:58

llpoolj · 29/10/2022 17:43

@Itsallyellow22 he won't buy anything ,then he will complain that I have new clothes and he has nothing.
I can't win

Let him complain. He's an adult and should buy his own clothes.
He is absolutely ripping the piss out of you.
You are certainly not tight, he's a user.

mylifestory · 30/10/2022 17:59

Gaslighting, making u feel guilty for his mistakes in life. It does make me wonder what the point of him in Yr life is, are you sure you're in this for the long run? It's like having a teenager not a partner

speakout · 30/10/2022 18:06

Motnight · 29/10/2022 23:43

You could win by getting rid of him to be honest

Show quote history

Totally agree.

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