Am I stingy? Boyfriend says i am?

[llpoolj]

My boyfriend lives with me.
He earns £700 more than me a month.
He is always "skint"
He said he needed £20 for his phone.
So I said "il take it out of my savings account,just give me it on Monday when you get paid"
So then today he borrows another £10 and says so that's £310 I owe you Monday (£300 half of rent and bills )
I say no £330 ...£20 for phone too
He said "really ,your going to take that off me"
"I only topped up because you wanted me too"
(He didn't -he told me he needed to top up"
So he says "you know I would give you my last"
I said I buy you so much
I spent £10 buying him McDonald's today,I bought the food all week
I spent £170 last week on concert tickets for his birthday -then 2 hoodies for his birthday.
I reminded him of this and he says "no you can't class the tickets for my birthday -you wanted to go too"
I also bought us Xmas pjs for £30 two days ago

So how does he have the audacity to say I'm tight?
I just wanted it back to in my savings.
I'm feeling shitty and horrible now
I'm honestly not tight -I just don't want to get the mick took out of me

We go on holiday in two weeks
I've bought the sun tan lotion,after sun,case straps ,case locks ,luggage tags ,case scales,I bought him shorts for holiday and 2 tees and god knows what else

He’s going to carry on like this until you change something.

Get your money back that he’s borrowed. You’ll need it.

If he doesn’t consider his concert ticket a gift, give it to a friend and go with them.

He is by projecting. He is absolutely rinsing you, and calling you stingy is part of keeping you in line .

Sorry to say it OP, but I think you need to get rid, he sounds just like my feckless, cocklodging, lying ex. Where is his money actually going? In my ex's case it was up his nose, on his massive gambling habit and servicing his enormous debts. Sadly I only found out about all of these things after our child was born.
Thankfully now I'm rid of him I'm better off in every way whilst he lurches from one disaster to the next.
Whatever it is he's actually doing with his money, the point is is that he's lying to you and taking advantage of your generous nature. Please don't open joint accounts of any kind with him, you do not want to be financially linked to this man.

You deserve better ❤️

So he's financially and emotionally abusive. Leave him. Don't marry him or have kids with him.

Why haven't you left him?

Exactly what I thought too.

I went out with someone exactly like this when I was 20, I guarantee he's got thousands in savings in the bank!! Run for the hills OP, nothing worse than being with someone like that with money

For
God's
Sake

Stop playing games and messing around

Get rid of the wanker

This, this, this. The cheeky, gaslighting fucker would be going to fuck all gig or holiday with me, I can tell you that. You deserve better, pet. Send this useless twat to absolute fuck (or back to his mam - let her pay for his fucking hoodies).

Don’t waste any more of your time on him. He’s a sponging gaslighting arsehole. It’s abuse and will only get worse. Get rid now and start a better life.

Financial compatibility is a huge part of a successful healthy relationship. It doesn’t sound like you have that or that your boyfriend is interested in having that.

Photos of the 2 of you in matching Xmas pjs are superficial. Trust, common goals and kindness towards each other are essential. Look back over what you have written

To answer your question, you are not stingy in the slightest. You are being manipulated by someone who isn’t interested in treating you fairly. I hope you realise your worth and end this relationship.

You’re not stingy. You are a mug though. You either need to sort this sharpish or you will end up in a situation where what’s yours is his and what’s his is his, but you have children as well. And of course, children costs will fall to you.

If the concert tickets don't count as a gift tell him he either pays the ticket price got his ticket or you'll sell it to a friend.

In addition:

1. say the phone top up, clothes etc was his birthday gift.

1. Rethink this relationship. He is taking advantage because you're letting him. I don't mean that horribly. He sounds like a user.

Stop buying rubbish. It sounds like he doesn't want all this crap. You buy it because you want it. No man wants case scales and Christmas pjs FFs - or his clothes bought for him. It sounds like he doesn't even really want the tickets.

And this certainly does not make him abusive.

He should pay half the rent, half the bills and half, (or more) of the food). Don't buy him stuff he doesn't want and then say he's mean for not paying for it.

But you are financially incompatible. You have two options - an adult convo about money - and a working solution - or you go your separate ways.

You aren't stingy.

Calling you stingy is the beginning of a pattern of emotionally blackmailing you for financial reward. Its DARVO to cover for his poor money management. He is tapping you up for money because he knows he can.

This is financial abuse.

You are in a position to put a stop to it. Do so before it gets worse. He's taking you for a ride.

Get rid.
Selfish and useless.
Do you want to be looking after kids with this fool as your partner?

Sounds like you both spend money on a load of shit tbh

This sounds quite a mean thing to say but I’m going to say it in the hopes that it will make you stop and think-

If you were someone I knew in real life and had given me the information in your OP, I’d assume that you were desperate to keep a man. Topping up a working adult’s phone and buying them Christmas PJs is not normal.

You can win —- you kick him out. He’s taking you for a meal ticket. Don’t stand for it as it won’t get any better.

As Rossatron says!

I’m inclined to agree with this. He sounds awful but you do seem to be buying a lot of stuff that he probably doesn’t think is necessary.

The Christmas pjs are a prime example. Did he really want them? Or are they something that you wanted?

I couldn’t respect a man who needed me to buy him his clothes. Especially when he earns more than you. What does he spend his money on?

So why can’t he buy his own clothes with his own money…

My Cousin (male) married his childhood sweetheart and they have a healthy, solid marriage and two sons. When I was over at theirs a while back he was in a really good mood because he'd been waiting weeks for some sort of sports final on TV. I think he'd paid extra to watch it live. It starts... the poor bastard didn't get five minutes peace. One kid was climbing all over him, the other fell over and started screaming, mother in law turned up half way through expecting a cup of tea and a chat. If that had been me I'd have had a complete and utter fucking meltdown. But he laughed it off... because he knew what he'd signed up for, they had serious conversations before marriage and even though the house was mayhem he loves having his family 😊

Wrong one sorry 🤣

Which is fine when it's your own money. He wants to spend her money on shite.

Right so where the fuck is his money going?
savings
drugs
on himself

You’re a fucking mug @llpoolj

dump him. He’s not a real man, taking your savings

why are you so desperate to settle for any man that you put up with this? Seriously? Raise the bar! Dump him and take a mate on holiday, take back the naff pjs and save yourself the hassle of wasting more Money on him for the holiday, Christmas, new year etc etc