to think it's unreasonable to expect young teenagers to bring alcohol to the party

[SLS500]

My dd went to her friend's 17th birthday party. This has been planned for a while and we'd had brief chat a few days ago about whether there would be alcohol and she said yes. She's pretty sensible and has access to alcohol at home, but isn't interested and has never abused it, so I wasn't particularly concerned. Also, as it was a house party with the parents there I thought perhaps there'd be a few token beers, wine spritzers and soft drinks.

The parents had provided wine, gin, beers etc. and when this had finished they had to go out to buy more, but before doing so the mother who was clearly angry
shouted at the children they were all rude for not bringing a bottle as it was etiquette to do so.

Surely you wouldn't expect teenagers to think to take a bottle. She didn't go empty handed she took a birthday gift and card. She had two glasses of wine, so nothing excessive, but is upset for her friend who was embarrassed.

I completely agree. Bring drinks -fine. But those drinks have to be alcohol-free ones. I wouldn’t object to a small amount of alcohol either, and might actually provide some. But under no circumstance is it etiquette to be expected to bring alcohol for teens.The host here was shockingly out of order.

The host was very rude, how were guests/their parents meant to know whether alcohol would be wanted or accepted? Unless they said "bring a bottle" on the invite. When I have a party I supply enough booze for all, I certainly wouldn't call out guests who didn't bring any.

She’s a teenager and presumably it was offered to her- I don’t think it’s rude at all. It would have been rude if she raided mum’s cupboards and took it for sure.

Yes I’d always expect to take booze at that age, even now in my 30s tbh!

It’s weird that you think they are too young to bring alcohol but not too young to have a party with 24 of them and drinking alcohol the parents have bought.

Of course they should have all taken something. It's basic manners.

They are too young to be expected to bring alcohol, especially because it is not legal for them to buy it!!

I agree with this.
Taking a bottle of wine means she is drinking a whole bottle which is too much!

She did take something- a card and a gift! The question was , at 17, should she be expected to bring specifically booze!

*the key is the child didn’t bring any but decided to drink the hosts supply

Its incredibly rude to do that*

to start she had a couple of glasses. Not “drinking the host’s supply”

if parents are providing alcohol for a party then are they expecting guests not to drink it?

do 8 year olds take their own capri sun to parties? Do the parents get upset if it gets drunk?

at 16/17 it’s not clear as to whether there’ll be alcohol provided, none at all, the one weirdo who brings their own bottle and gets utterly pissed, or if everyone is sneaking their own in.

the parents were in the wrong getting cross. Once what was there got drunk, no more. Are they going to keep going out for more until all the 16/17 year olds are throwing up?

Definitely . At adult parties you bring a bottle on the understanding that the hosts will likely have bottles left over to enjoy at a later date.

You’ve never been to a house party have you

YANBU! How rude of the host.

It is illegal to buy alcohol for under 18s (apart from the small exemption for beer/wine over 16 with a meal). So yes going to the supermarket specifically to buy alcohol for your child’s party of under 18s is illegal.

I’ve been to many a houseparty especially as a teenager. I’ve never been to one where the adult hosts provided more than a very moderate amount of beer. I’ve never been to one where an adult host went for an extra booze run , or chastised their teenage guests for not turning up with a bottle!

never been to one as a teenager* where the adult hosts supplied more than a moderate amount of beer.

They can drink in a pub with a meal from 16. I wasn't suggesting they bought it.

Did you bring your own alcohol?

Because a house party without alcohol is just friends getting together.

It's really not rude. The host parent supplied and offered drinks. These are teenagers not adults!

When I was that age we didn't expect any booze to be provided. Parties usually happened when parents were away but aware they were happening. My parents never bought alcohol for me (either with my money or their own) but were aware I was drinking. It was prob easier to buy alcohol myself back then than it is now tho.

I get so bored by people in the UK thinking you need alcohol to have a party.

people should try having a party without. If you have a shit time you’re with shit company!

At a 17 year old's birthday party, the teens will be a mixture of 17 and 16 year olds. Not 17 to 18 year olds. They are still very young.

@Millsbills is clearly a lot cooler than the rest of us

My 14 yr old was invited to a Halloween party tonight and has been worried all week because he was expected to bring alcohol and actually when he said he wasn't going to bring alcohol coz he doesn't drink they were fine - he was worried about going because he didn't want to spend his night having to watch drunk kids throw up! And he hasbt gone. 17 is a little different but still underage my dd is 16 and she has taken smirnoff ices to parties before .

I’ve packed my teen off to a party tonight and bought her some cans of pre-mixed drink to take with her. She asked for a bottle of vodka…we compromised. I also ran this past the mum of the party girl beforehand as I happen to know her, but this wouldn’t ordinarily be the case.