to think it's unreasonable to expect young teenagers to bring alcohol to the party

[SLS500]

My dd went to her friend's 17th birthday party. This has been planned for a while and we'd had brief chat a few days ago about whether there would be alcohol and she said yes. She's pretty sensible and has access to alcohol at home, but isn't interested and has never abused it, so I wasn't particularly concerned. Also, as it was a house party with the parents there I thought perhaps there'd be a few token beers, wine spritzers and soft drinks.

The parents had provided wine, gin, beers etc. and when this had finished they had to go out to buy more, but before doing so the mother who was clearly angry
shouted at the children they were all rude for not bringing a bottle as it was etiquette to do so.

Surely you wouldn't expect teenagers to think to take a bottle. She didn't go empty handed she took a birthday gift and card. She had two glasses of wine, so nothing excessive, but is upset for her friend who was embarrassed.

Yeah bring what you drink is pretty standard . Normal for hosts to provide a bit as well (v surprised at spirits though!! So easy to drink too much) weird of the mum to shout - I mean once it’s gone it’s gone, no need to stress and buy more.

At that age Mine took a couple of cans of cider or beer, I.e what they would drink.

Very bad of the Mum to shout at them. She should either have topped up with good grace or left them with whatever was left : soft drinks.

Yep, bring your own. I'm having a house full of 16yr olds tonight for a Halloween party and I'm only providing one bottle of vodka and some soft drinks.

My 17 yr old takes what they expect to drink with them. If they have work the next day they don't want to drink much so will take soft drinks as well as alcohol. It's the norm in their circles for them to take their own. Parents provide snacks or they order in food but they know which in advance. It seems to work for them.

Phew!

Mine (now 18 and 20) used to ask me to buy something - usually vile things like Sourz or cheap Amaretto) and give me the cash when going to a house party - at 17. 16 I would check with the parent first but at 17 they are old enough to have a drink at a party and I would expect them, if drinking, to take some.

You've confused the question (or tried to sway the answers??) by asking if it is unreasonable for young teenagers to take alcohol to a party. I suspect this is why the vote is more even that it might be.

If the question is 'Should 17 yr olds going to a house party take their own drink?' then yes, obviously they should.
It might be they take alcohol, it might be they take some pop. Some might take both. Some might just take a can/ bottle or two of beer, but anybody going to a house party should take what they are going to drink, yes. As it always has been.

This thread is bizarre: it’s illegal to buy booze at 17 😵‍💫

Well said @Kite22

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It’s low alcohol 4% and low calorie.

Same. Usually a 4 pack with the instruction to drink a couple and share a couple. If alcohol was going to be drunk, they take their own, I don't want to out other people's parents in the position of buying alcohol for minors. Or the expense!

If they were planning on drink alcohol they should have brought some.

I'd have checked with the host beforehand.

17 isn’t a young teenager

It doesn’t matter what age you are. You take a bottle

I dont think its unreasonable she didn't take any alcohol as at that age some teens have a different relationship with alcohol then others. I think the unreasonable part comes with not taking any alcohol but drinking all the alcohol that was provided. Either take some and drink some or take none and drink none.

Always take a contribution to be polite.

I’m more than willing to believe teen parties have alcohol, but I find it utterly bizarre that a bunch of adults/ parents think it’s “etiquette” for a teenager to bring alcohol to a party 😵‍💫

Definitely Bring a bottle at teen parties.

Parents were very brave to allow it, though, teen parties can so often get out of hand with gatecrashers.

A friend and her older brother had a teenage party at her parent's house while her parents were away..Whoops.

Lots of vomiting, including in her parent's bed , when cannabis and booze were mixed..Urgh.. and the Edwardian bannisters kicked out of the staircase when two gatecrasher lads decided to have a fight.

It is when said teen intends to drink

Its weird you can’t understand this

its rude to turn up and drink the hosts supply and not bring any of your own

If a teenager isn't a drinker {I wasn't} then take cartons of orange or apple juice or soft drinks. There often weren't enough soft drinks in my experience.

Why are 17 year olds who are drinking alcohol, young teenagers?

The rules when mine were that age:-
No spirits
Don’t attempt to buy at local shops

You can really tell the people who were never invited to a house party as a teen on this thread

Always bring drink to a party! Also, 17 is not a young teenager