to think it's unreasonable to expect young teenagers to bring alcohol to the party

[SLS500]

My dd went to her friend's 17th birthday party. This has been planned for a while and we'd had brief chat a few days ago about whether there would be alcohol and she said yes. She's pretty sensible and has access to alcohol at home, but isn't interested and has never abused it, so I wasn't particularly concerned. Also, as it was a house party with the parents there I thought perhaps there'd be a few token beers, wine spritzers and soft drinks.

The parents had provided wine, gin, beers etc. and when this had finished they had to go out to buy more, but before doing so the mother who was clearly angry
shouted at the children they were all rude for not bringing a bottle as it was etiquette to do so.

Surely you wouldn't expect teenagers to think to take a bottle. She didn't go empty handed she took a birthday gift and card. She had two glasses of wine, so nothing excessive, but is upset for her friend who was embarrassed.

My 17yo was at a house party last night. She took her own alcohol. They all do. I prefer it - at least I know what she’s drinking.

The norm here with teens is to take your own drink to a party but the host will provide some too. Unless its in a field and there is no host 🤣

How mortified the birthday girl must have been! So rude of the mum. I think a lot of 16 & 17 year olds are more like I was at 14/15 though, and its good if parents are vaguely supervising. Probably the pandemic effect but this generation seem immature.

Once the booze ran out, why did it matter? They don’t need to have an endless supply. If they aren’t old enough to buy alcohol, they don’t need to be drinking much.

Yeah I think you take some but also. They're new to alcohol inclusive parties so as her parent I would have made it clear to her to tell her friends to bring something to drink. I wouldn't be angry at a bunch of 17yos for not knowing.

Im not that keen on my DDs mates bringing booze, we supply beers, cider, cocktail tins etc and ask them not to BYO. They’re obviously way too polite as I inevitably find empty bottles of vodka around the place.

House parties have always BYOB

In my day it was Mad Dog 20/20 and bacardi breezers 😂

The host shouldn''t have shouted at them though. The birthday boy / girl might have been saying at school that their parents were buying loads of booze for their party

Yes you bring beer, though not hard stuff. Shocking the parents would complain though - there's always some kid throwing up in the toilet and running out of booze means kids would go home!

The law is a bit confusing. Under 18's can drink at home or a private premises but it is illegal for an adult to buy alcohol for an under 18.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/facts/alcohol-and-the-law/the-law-on-alcohol-and-under-18s#whatthelawsays

Why didn't the mum just say - you've drunk it all so sorry - no more booze kids. No need to shout at them.

They haven’t, as my DD and her jingling bag of premixed cans will attest.

The mother was wrong to shout and probably pissed up. The invitation should have stated "bring a bottle" if that was the expectation. In reality a 17th Birthday party at the start of the academic year is going to be mostly attended by 16 year old, so she shouldn't have expected 16yos to take bottles of alcohol.

Yes. I think so. It doesn't have to be alcohol. You must have led a sheltered life if you think this isn't the norm.

When I was that age nearly 20 yrs ago we would always take booze and the host usually supplied soft drinks. Bottle of archers was always my drink of choice!

They should BYOB its costs a fortune otherwise. It's bad form that they didn't bring.

In the same way the party host acquired it. They ask a parent to add it to the supermarket shop. I picked up some cans for my DD this morning.

How many of the peral clutchers on here have 17 year olds?
I'm out the other side as DD is 22, and doesn't drink a lot. She says that it is because alcohol was never a forbidden thing for her as a teenager, so she never went off the rails.

If the kids want to drink they need to bring their own, but if they don’t that’s no concern of the birthday girl’s mum. I certainly wouldn’t be going out and buying more once they’d gone through a load of gin, beer and wine - we used to go out to the offie ourselves if we wanted more. Or we’d take it as a sign the party was over.

The mum was totally unreasonable to be complaining the booze had run out at a party of 16/17yr olds, and definitely shouldn’t have gone to get more. She reminds me of Reguna’s mum in Mean Girls. Drink more, children! I’m such a cool mum I want everyone to get really drunk at my daughter’s party.

My parents would never, ever have bought alcohol for me, even if I’d been a few weeks off 18!

Mine’s 16 in yr 12. Etiquette in her group seems to be they all take some alcohol those cocktails in cans or hard seltzer are popular. I prefer that as at least know what drinking no worries re measures. They are 16 and it’s legal to drink in a house.

What is a hard seltzer?

Me too. No one would have sold me alcohol at 17 as I was very tiny and young looking back then. And the rules are stricter now. I would have taken a litre of coke to a party at that age. In fact, I remember one party where five of us brought bottles of coke!

If they didn't bring alcohol, I would assume they weren't going to drink. I would have some alcohol in, maybe beer, but once its gone that would be it.

@RampantIvy - flavoured fizzy water with about 4% alcohol

I disagree with most people actually. My parents let me have parties at home aged 16/17 and we were allowed to have a drink but they always supplied it and it was under strict instructions that no one brought any more. That way you can make sure there isn't an excess and they aren't drinking vodka and things. When we had the same parties aged 18 after our A levels we did supply our own.

My 17 year old has a party tonight. We've supplied Blue wkd, smirnoff ice, koppaberg and a beer keg. Along with Monster and soft drinks. I'd rather they not drink spirits and wouldn't supply them but no doubt they will smuggle them in. They are also getting supplied with Dominos and doughnuts to hopefully soak it up.

Sounds like a good party! Hope they have fun (and you don’t have much cleaning up to do).