To think not everything is ‘misogyny’

[Cuppasoupmonster]

… and that the word is massively overused on here?

I’m getting quite tired of it if I’m honest, it feels like every other conversation the ‘misogyny’ card is whipped out and anyone who disagrees has ‘internalised misogyny’ (um no I just have a different opinion).

It’s becoming the ‘BeKind’ of feminism. Overused to the point it’s getting meaningless and irritating, and just used to ‘win’ any kind of nuanced topic without any proper discussion.

AIBU? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Misogynic is endemic in our patriarchal society. We're socially conditioned not to see it, to perceive the patriarchy as normal and natural. Once the mask slips, you start to recognise it everywhere.

sexism
ˈsɛksɪz(ə)m
noun
prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against women, on the basis of sex.

misogyny
mɪˈsɒdʒ(ə)ni
noun
dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

@Millsbills why exactly do you think sexism is better?

Why does it bother you so much that women identify it when men demonstrate a dislike and contempt for women?

In fact your patronising argument that many women don't understand what they're talking about when discussing their oppression sounds awfully like ingrained prejudice against women.

Your job has maybe given you an unrealistic balance of commonality, same applies to many other roles. Some social workers think abuse is more common than it actually is, therapists often suffer with secondary trauma, consultant doctors on labour wards often view risky labour as more common - because they see it more than most. That doesn’t mean factually it’s more common.

I work in housing. Hardly a niche thing since, you know, everyone needs it. The difference is that I see the inside of people's lives.

And I asked if you were male, I didn't assume, and you didn't answer.

What? Why?

And was the "you" intended as meaning me as an individual, or was it a collective you meaning women?

Exactly.

I don’t noticed the term being used excessively on here, and in general society it isn’t used enough - mainly because we’re so used to it, we don’t see it.

Mills a quick Google will bring up a very different definition of misogyny along with examples such as

Misogyny .... is a central part of sexist prejudice and ideology and, as such, is an important basis for the oppression of females in male-dominated societies. Misogyny is manifested in many different ways, from jokes to pornography to violence to the self-contempt women may be taught to feel toward their own bodies.[15]

I think society rejects sexisim but accepts misogyny much more readily as it is "allowed" in society where as sexisim is illegal in some forms and misogyny is not.

I note your failure to answer to provide meaningful or practical differences for the impact on women's lives.

Haha nice try. You have been asked, due to your attitude towards women on this thread, to give specific examples of misogyny, rather than continue to say what it isnt.

so, give it a try.

Women have demonstrated an inability to understand. It’s not ‘my argument’ it’s a fact based on some of the examples given on this thread of ‘misogyny’ which are actually examples of sexism.

Neither sexism or misogyny are ‘fun’ but I’d argue being discriminated against is marginally better than being hated just for being a woman. One you can fight to improve, the other isn’t ‘fixable’

That however will be a personal view (same as the age old ‘what’s worse being hated or ignored’)

I’m merely agreeing with the OPs point that the term is often overused and adding that’s it’s also often misused, on here specifically.

I don’t agree with the catalyst of the OP making this point around abortion and disagree with that side of this argument.

Interesting that the votes are nowhere near as damning as the comments. I suspect those in agreement with me are just tired of being shouted down.

Haha nice try. You have been asked, due to your attitude towards women on this thread, to give specific examples of misogyny, rather than continue to say what it isnt.

so, give it a try.

They can't, after all genuine misogyny is so rare and us women are confusing ourselves by getting genuine misogyny confused with casual everyday sexism.

😂

Still whataboutery rather than examples. Is it damp under that bridge?

When I first came on here I was taken aback the amount of people using the word 'narcissistic'. Seems a bit like that.

I do get the difference between the benign, patronising sexism of previous generations and the porn-soaked misogyny of the current ones.

However the men opening doors, walking on the car side of the pavement and pulling a chair out were sometimes also the ones who felt women's opinions weren't serious or thought they were better at home making sandwiches. It wasn't harmless.

Sexist men often think they love women. In a Madonna/whore way. With pedestals and gender boxes. Misogynistic men aren't always aware they hate us though. And the thinking of women as somehow not fully human is a feature of both.

In fact your patronising argument that many women don't understand what they're talking about when discussing their oppression sounds awfully like ingrained prejudice against women.

Hear hear.

Women have demonstrated an inability to understand.
You say this, whilst quoting my post with the two definitions in, and then going on a rambling about why women just don't understand.

misogyny
mɪˈsɒdʒ(ə)ni
noun
dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women.

Looking like more ingrained prejudice against silly women who don't understand their own oppression as well as you.

I'm on my phone and can't vote. So there's another in the YABU box.

It's much more likely that they only read your OP or the thread title and not the rest of the conversation.

Hear hear hear hear.

Or seconded

Women have demonstrated an inability to understand.

You didn’t answer the question put to you earlier. Are you male or female?

I was never asked for examples

one poster just said they were waiting for them, no original request however was posted

But if examples would help you understand then here we go

Femicide
FGM
Aristotle calling women ‘deformed men’
Young (mainly black) women being described as ‘Fast’
When someone accepts a males view and will dismiss a woman’s for no other reason than what’s between their legs
Oppression that is directed at women

Fact - sexism is different to misogyny

also a fact - many seem to not understand that and continue to label acts of sexism as misogyny

Pedants corner here I come

I think you’ll find I did

Why the need for the word female at all in that sentence?
It's irrelevant that you include yourself in this.
Berating yourself and other women too is no better than berating other women.

Well when some women on here have a proven inability to understand it’s not rambling is it?

My original point still stands, many on here confuse misogyny and sexism

Then label acts of sexism as misogyny incorrectly

therefore on this side the OP is definitely not incorrect in thinking it’s overused on here