To think not everything is ‘misogyny’

[Cuppasoupmonster]

… and that the word is massively overused on here?

I’m getting quite tired of it if I’m honest, it feels like every other conversation the ‘misogyny’ card is whipped out and anyone who disagrees has ‘internalised misogyny’ (um no I just have a different opinion).

It’s becoming the ‘BeKind’ of feminism. Overused to the point it’s getting meaningless and irritating, and just used to ‘win’ any kind of nuanced topic without any proper discussion.

AIBU? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Imagine starting a thread specifically about the term misogyny then complaining people are using that term too much 🙄

No, and I wouldn’t restrict it. I just don’t think it’s misogynistic to generally hold the view that some women see it as a contraceptive rather than the termination of a pregnancy, and perhaps take risks they wouldn’t otherwise. I include myself in that

How do you know 'some women' see it as contraception? Why is it just women's responsibility to manage contraception? Do you think all women have access to contraception - and that it is 100% safe and effective? Why is early termination via pill more of a risk than taking the pill?

also why does it matter?

Misogyny is when you hold a view about women that you wouldn’t apply to men under similar circumstances. It’s just this will never be reversed.

You OP hold the view that women are solely responsible for getting pregnant and ate stupid if they need an abortion. As men cannot get pregnant you are not applying your view to men are you? So this is misogyny is in not?

Ok but. Why is it misogyny? I would say the same thing if men got pregnant.
Misogyny is when you hold a view about women that you wouldn’t apply to men under similar circumstances. It’s just this will never be reversed
Irrelevant as men can't get pregnant so that whataboutery is pointless.

Women are oppressed in many areas of life because of their sex.
Women identifying their oppression will probably use the term misogyny.

Your whataboutery and redefining of misogyny is unhelpful:

For reference:
misogyny
noun
dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women

That comment standalone holds women responsible for all aspects of contraception as well as assuming women all have easy access to effective and suitable female contraception (which is simply not the case).

It completely omits the equal responsibility of men

So yes, misogynist.

Right.

Sexism being so much better than misogyny. I dispute the two a meaningfully or practically different for women. Both make negative assumptions about women based on our sex.

What a depressing thread.

YABVU. Men really have conditioned so many women to do their work for them.

@Millsbills could you please give some specific examples of misogyny. P

Part of the real issue is that (particularly on MN), people don’t know the real meaning of the word and use it out of context.

I ‘m more concerned about all these careless men, ejaculating into vaginas without using condoms. I mean, if they just used condoms we wouldn’t have so many abortions.

what about these women who let men ejaculate i to them without using condoms? Don’t they have en equal responsibility or is that misogyny to even suggest it?

Those silly women.

actual misogyny is actually quite rare

@Millsbills are you male? Because I'm an old lady now, and I can tell you misogyny is everywhere and isn't rare. As part of my job in housing I NEVER deal with men leaving their homes, scared for their lives, having to run because women are going to kill them. I can't tell you how many times I've dealt with the reverse. Seeing holes in walls and blood spatter changes a person and I can't say I have any shits left for apologists.

I've had some of these men in a room with me as the person holding the power and I can tell you they would happily kill me if there were no consequences. With a smile on their faces.

If that's the fairly common top of the mountain, it isn't a stretch to assume simple hatred and anger is common.

I say that as someone with a lovely, gentle, respectful father and a lovely DH who I could t love more.

Nobody is this hard of thinking surely

TBH I’d argue sexism is better than misogyny

Not by much but there is nuance in the phrases and their definitions.

They are meaningfully and factually different

Many on here either

A- don’t understand there is a difference

or

B- understand there is a difference but want to use a word with more weight behind it to make a point sound better

Did I say that?

Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.
Germaine Greer (1970)
Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

@Millsbills we are very patiently waiting for your specific examples of what you consider misogyny.

Indeed, as GG said - men fear that women will laugh at them, women fear that men will kill us.

Did I say that?

Yes you did.
You stated that because some women lie or forget to take contraception it's their fault they get pregnant. At no point did it occur to you that men are responsible for their own contraception and are stupid if they give that responsibility to women.

Well, I don’t think it’s misogynistic the say the abortion rate is surprisingly high given the wide choice of free and highly effective female contraceptives. I was met with ‘U R such a misogynist’

Just how are you holding men accountable?

Jings.

The thing about women using abortion as a contraception... I know many more men who have suggested this as a solution to their lack of condom wearing than I do women who have said fuckit, let's just have unprotected sex, I'll put myself through the mental physical and emotional turmoil of an abortion in a few months time! You cant make assertions like that based on a hunch you have with no evidence at all. I think you've hit a lot of nerves with that example you gave.

Not everything is misogyny, but that example was, and it's a bit scary that you're oblivious to that 🤦‍♀️

Ah the classic

Anyone not agreeing with me is a man

Genuine misogyny is rare

Sexism sadly isn’t

most of the examples given on here have been examples of sexism. Not misogyny

Your job has maybe given you an unrealistic balance of commonality, same applies to many other roles. Some social workers think abuse is more common than it actually is, therapists often suffer with secondary trauma, consultant doctors on labour wards often view risky labour as more common - because they see it more than most. That doesn’t mean factually it’s more common.

I don’t disagree those men you refer to hate their partners, and many will hate them for the simple fact they’re a woman. But you’re confusing your specific experience with ‘the norm’

And misogyny is far from rare. As a class men despise women.

And it’s posts like this that make it hard for anyone to take you seriously

This might be handy for yourself and others that can’t or simply don’t want to understand the difference

www.dictionary.com/e/misogyny-vs-sexism/