To feel inconvenienced by DH wanting 'better quality' sex

[dhaex]

NC here for obvious reasons, I have no one IRL I am comfortable asking this question.

DH recently has started to sometimes not get it up. He has started to say it's because I don't make an effort (admittedly I don't)

So I am asking if I'm your sex life you have standards? So for example he said he just wants a few basic things to make the sec better. He said he doesn't expect these every time but some of the times.

They are;

• shaven pubic hair
• a bit of makeup
• hair not looking a mess
• a wash beforehand

Are these things reasonable to expect of you before sex? To be honest I just cba to do these things in order to have sex but I also have to understand sex is based on attraction so I am being lazy to not want to do these things but equally we are TTC and to be frank it's wearing me out and I just cannot be bothered.

Please help do you except the above requirements to have sex?

Please don't come on saying what a twat my husband sounds I'm not here to roast him I'm genuinely wanting to know if people make an effort for sex and if so is the above ask fair

Thank you

I have no does what to suggest this thread has made me more confused.

The porn thing keeps coming up - he will NEVER stop watching it

Has anyone successfully made their DH stop watching it? If so I'd love to hear how some advice

I'm the one who prefers to be clean.

We both brush our teeth before hand but DH is all over me no matter what I look like and with a new baby I look quite a state!

Also to add my teeth get brushed two to three times a day I have no issue there either

His breath is sometimes kore the issue than mine if he's had a drink for example or eaten certain foods.

He generally doesn't have bad breath but occasionally after a drink he can smell not too pleaaant

I wouldn't be applying makeup but everything else is just basic surely 🤷‍♀️

Personally I feel that not shaving pubic hair is a feminist issue and I wouldn't shave on principle. I know some women do it by choice and prefer it but I still feel this is quite possibly down to internalised societal misogyny which constantly projects ideas of female inadequacy. Also anything related to the abhorrent and exploitative porn industry would be an immediate 'No' for me.

I would leave a man who expected me to shave my pubic hair and wear make up for sex. And most definitely for expecting me to wash more than the twice a day I already did.
I know you want a baby op, but not with this sexist knob surely?

✨read the fucking thread ✨

You know that you can potentially conceive for more than three days in a month, don't you/.

@dhaex

You can’t make anyone do anything. You can talk through issues, come to compromises and agreements etc but that’s only for an adult relationship, which you don’t have with your husband.

You know this relationship is dead but you’re persisting, but imagine actually having a child with him? It would be hell.

He’ll be fucking some younger women before your vagina has healed.

He doesn’t want to make changes I.e. lose weight so why should you have to do nonsense like shaving pubic hair?!

buy yourself a couple of nice nighties from m&s and seduce him a bit, men want to feel desired, they’re cave men at heart lol.

Nothing says wild animalistic cave man sex more than an M&S nighty!

Not having pubes is basic?

Nothing says wild animalistic cave man sex more than an M&S nighty!

🤣🤣🤣

This reminds me of one of the greatest songs ever written:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=fFI5Jl_IqsE

Why are you with him, OP? Nothing you've said about DH is good.

It sounds like you're so locked into trying to conceive, and have been for such a long time, that you've lost sight of whether this relationship is any good for you, whether you even want to be with this particular man.

I have literally never had a man complain about pubic hair. I’m 44 and have been having sex for 25 years and it’s never even been commented on.

@dhaex please end this relationship. The more you post the more unpleasant your DH sounds. I bet your bottom dollar if you met someone who loves every inch of you, respects you and is an equal partner to you you'd conceive straight away. I firmly believe that.

A shower /bath beforehand .Unreasonable to give directions on "down there" though! Seems strange he is having trouble "getting it up" Is he watching too much porn?

The fact he wants you to wash before sex make me believe that your hygiene standards are quite low. That would be a massive turn off.

@dottiedodah

You didn’t read ANY of OPs other posts then?

It sounds like this relationship is over, but you're keeping it going in order to TTC.

He shouldn't have a shopping list of demands in order to have sex, but equally it sounds like the only reading you're prepared to have sex is for TTC so I can imagine that must be a bit off putting from his perspective.

Or that he's an arsehole trying to blame OP for his shortcomings

Phew. Not just me then. I do however nearly always go for a pee after sex.

Poor OP has been trying to conceive for years and your comments, quite frankly, are inappropriate. She doesn't need to hear that 'her body isn't letting her conceive with this man' or 'you'll conceive when you meet someone you loves every inch of you'. Unless you have some practical advice, for the love of God stop with the tone-deaf comments around conception.

What is wrong with you people?! She's said she washes at least twice a day!!