Partner left me 8 months pregnant and 2 weeks later had a new girlfriend

[EJLx]

I'm currently days away from having my baby and her dad has just admitted he's in a new relationship and has moved in with this woman, he decided he'd tell me now because they would both like to have my daughter over at their house for sleepovers when she's born. He left me at 6 months pregnant with no explanation, then weeks later came back and said he'd made a mistake so we got back together.... 2 months later he left me again only this time it came out that he'd been seeing other woman and telling them how he'd love to be with them and not me, telling me he was on night shifts when he was actually taking different women out, I say women, they were 18/19 early 20s. We haven't been together since, he swore blind none of it was true but minds were already made up and we'd decided we would leave it and just concentrate on being parents. He moved out to live with friends and he'd come round and see me, telling me he was sorting himself out and he wasn't with anyone and he was putting all his efforts into sorting himself out for when our daughter is born. In the last few days it's come to light that he's actually in a full blown relationship with someone, not one of the ones from before, and hes moved in with her. I received a message from her telling me how she's going to love and look after my daughter and they want her to stay over at their house when she's born....out of the blue, it was only a day before this that he was telling me he's living between friends and has no fixed address. I tried to be nice and grown up and I said it was fine and that we'd make something work somehow... But I know I'm kidding myself , I've now told him I don't want him at the birth I don't want him anywhere near us and that he'll have to take me to court. I feel awful, I love him so much and this baby was planned and wanted more than anything , I cant believe he's done this to me. He's said he'll go to court..he's keeping his new girlfriend and he wants my baby too. Should I just get on with it and allow it ..let him come to the birth, let her be a part of my baby's life let them take my baby overnight every now and again... Or put a stop to it now and let it go to court... I never wanted this, I wanted him to be part of everything even with all the cheating but the fact he's moved in with someone and she has the front to come to me and tell me she's going to do this that and the other just sickens me. My baby isn't even here yet and I'm already having to think about sharing her with a woman I've never met. I don't know what to do for the best, I still love him and I know that's clouding my judgement, I just don't see why he should get this new happy life and my baby included when I've been left, completely alone, after almost 8 years together. I'm so sad and confused 😭

He could question paternity if it came to maintenance. Ultimately it won't do much but delay the process but he could be difficult about it.

Try to breastfeed that way they cannot have baby overnight. Do not respond to her, all contact through him and make sure it's via text and email. Make all arrangements formal.

They are both taking the piss

I think blank or worse father unknown woud be upsetting to the child in later years as it looks like the mother had sex with so many men around the time the baby was conceived she has no clue who it was. Like she was not fussy and would have sex with anyone.

Baby should still have Mum's name

But the child will know who dad is if they have contact

Why leave his name blank if he is known?

That's a huge reach to say blank father would look like mum slept around!
That's not what most people would jump to, let alone a child that knows the situation

@bettyfreddy not putting the fathers name on the birth certificate when you know very well who the father is (especially if claiming CMS) is an intentional act to prevent the father from gaining the parental responsibility for which he is entitled.

Refusing the father access to your child even though he is no danger to your child, and in the knowledge that best interests are to have both mother and father having access, simply because he left a romantic relationship, is selfish at best and intentionally harming the child at worst.

Parental alienation is being taken more seriously and in some cases the child can be removed from the mother and given to the alienated parent.

If this goes to court OP will need a better excuse for these actions that "we broke up and he started a new relationship".

@Dalekjastninerels because it can give him control and if he is not a great dad that is not good. How would you like a waste of space dad controlling where your DC can go to school. By putting his name on the birth certificate you are giving him parental responsibility

Please remember that it's the relationship with you that he's messed up, he's not proven he's a bad father.

I think he already has. Who gives his new girlfriend his pregnant partners contact details and let’s her ask to have the baby overnight. That’s just crazy. A decent father would apologise to OP and ask if he could still see the baby and work with her to make sensible arrangements.

If Mum knows who it is; why not put his name on there?

We don't actually know that he did give her the contact details. She could have found her on Facebook for example and messaged that way.
We also don't know how he's dealt with that situation, but yes what you're saying is exactly how he should be doing it.

I have agreed that he should be on the birth certificate

The OP can’t put the dad’s name on the certificate. He has to be physically there or have relevant documents in place

Can question paternity even if on birth certificate.

Dad should be physically there or send the documents; the child is biologically his.

Worse to whom?
This is the 21st century. The assumption that blank field=slut is ridiculous. And as for it being upsetting to the child, this is subjective.
IME, kids don't care what's on the birth certificate. They do care if the father is present, absent or in and out.

Not ridiculous in the least and I would be upset if my mother did not know.

I like having both my parents on mine.

@NalaNana tiny babies should be taken from their mothers, certainly not overnight.
This is what's best for the child.

Parental alienation really isn't a thing with a newborn.

@Dalekjastninerels what weird posts. Who cares is the mother was having sex with many people?! She can explain at an age appropriate time why she decided to protect herself and her child by not putting an irrational and unreliable man on the BC before he had proved himself committed to being a father.

"Refusing access to the father is weaponising the child. You have no concerns about the father other than he left a romantic relationship with you. It seems as though you are punishing him for breaking your heart which is understandable but not fair. This man is the father to the child and should not have their parental responsibility blocked simply because they left that relationship."

In fairness op hasn't said they want him to have no contact with baby at all but for him to be harassing her at this stage in pregnancy and demanding access when he's put her through trauma is really not acceptable and she doesn't need to stand for it. If there are no concerns in regards his parenting the courts will allow him access but he won't be the one calling the shots on when and how this looks which is important considering that he could well decide to become more difficult with op after the birth especially if she gets pnd which is so so common. She needs to be careful here because there is every chance of him weaponising the child against her.

Him demanding to be at the birth isn't appropriate and could quite literally hinder her birthing process (which an informed and invested dad would take into consideration because surely he just wants baby here safely). And demanding overnights and getting his gf to text her at this stage in pregnancy when op has been trying to be amenable is taking the piss and again causing undue stress when he should be doing all he can to reduce ops stress since she is carrying his child. But he doesn't care about any of that does he? So op needs to put herself and dc first that is not weaponising the baby.

She says in her post that she has told him she doesn't want him anywhere near them and he will have to go through court. Why else would he have to go to court, other than if his access was blocked?

I don't think he should be having the baby overnight. I'm talking about where she says that she's told him she doesn't want him around and he'll have to go to court. That certainly sounds like alienation to me if she isn't going to allow any access?

Weird?

Incorrect!

I said it looks like not is.

There is no age appropriate time to hear it; if my pregnant Mum was cheated on and my Dad was so easily tempted I would be devastated that my status would be Father Unknown because Dad was so busy with new woman he couldn't be bothered showing up to add his name.

Unless OP and his New Woman want to punish the OP...?

What an inconsiderate twat-and the gf is no better someone youv enever even heard of emailing you telling she'll love your daughter and look after her-who the fuck does she think she is

tell him to take you to court no judge will order overnight visits for a newborn

OP does know who the father of her child is. As do likely 99% of women.
A blank space on a birth certificate does not indicate the mother doesn't know who the father is--it indicates that the father wasn't present for registration or ma and pa weren't married.