To ask for your “That’s it, I’m done” moment?

[AutumnAesthetic]

Name changed.

I think we can all agree 2020-2022 has been, for most, an absolute gut punch.

I have noticed on here lately (and in the real world actually) that so many people are feeling a real apathy and a sense of “I’m done” BUT not many people can place exactly why, generally feeling it’a just the past few years of stress that has finally taken its toll and now they feel like everything’s a bit hopeless and won’t get better any time soon.

Can you pin point your own personal moment? The straw that broke the camels back I suppose.

my own example is below, feel free to skip it’s just an example:

For myself, it was one day last week. I had some washing and drying to catch up on, bathed both kids and cleaned the house. At the end of the night I looked at the meter and we had used £16 of electric, in a day! Usually use about £5-6. A few moments later received a phone call from the husband of a friend who recently passed away with cervical cancer, we were talking and he said she had been trying to get her smear booked in during 2020 and it was delayed and delayed and he believes if she had gotten the appointment when she initially tried, she might still be with us.

And that was it, after I hung up I sat down and had a little cry. It was my “that’s it, I’m done” moment.

I haven’t been able to shake the feeling since, it’s opened the door up to looking at all the things that have happened the past two years and accepting that yes, it’s all been pretty horrible and I’ve been doing the very British thing of stiff upper lip, crack on and don’t complain.

Thanks in advance for sharing, if you choose to ♥️

@StridTheKiller Im sorry you’re feeling so low. Keep talking on here about what’s going on. I feel pretty low myself, I have kids that keep me going. Please get rid of those medicines and talk to someone in real life about how you are feeling too x

I agree, I've had a terrible 2 years, not just covid but a dripping tap of crap culminating in my dm passing away.
My oh who usually does his best in his haphazard way made a stupid comment about some life changing plans we had and that was the turning point for me.
I give up, my battle cry is "I'm over it" by which I mean that's the final straw, I just give up, life is too much hard work

I dunno. But I’ve become very more ‘nah not dealing with that shit’ and generally not being a walk over anymore. Permanently angry and sad. Just absolutely done.

but then the joy of finding really small things is so nice- the best mug, a really nice hug. Anything really. Massively reduced chocolate mousse in the supermarket. The little wins feel huge these days.

This is heartbreaking I’m so so sorry. I won’t patronise you with advice I just really hope you can reach out to someone in your life and try to work through this x

I'm completely done too @StridTheKiller there is no future and we'll never get back to how things were pre covid.

Hang on to your anger. Let it drive you.
Once you let that go you are left only with dispair and you lose your power. Look for others who feel the same. Keep discussing our shared difficulties.

Don't let anyone silence you.

@StridTheKiller please don’t take them, they won’t kill you immediately. You’ll be in pain for weeks with your organs slowly failing, it’s one of the most horrific ways to go.

I’ve been there, I know exactly how you feel. If you ever want to talk please send do. There’s also the following links that will help if you’d rather speak to them

Samaritans
Mind - Lots of different contacts

And please remember no matter how bad it looks right now, it won’t always be this way. This will pass and you will come through the other side of it

The Liz Truss debacle has finished me. I know it sounds ridiculous and dramatic, but I was honestly shocked and a bit scared by just how badly the economy has been looking thanks to her incompetence and recklessness. I'm not a person who expects much from life and I live very simply, but I expect those in authority to not behave like teenagers and cause so much pain and hardship to others. Boris Johnson is another pathetic letdown. I don't know what to say anymore.

Me and dh are older/middle aged now and if either of us has a heart attack/stroke I know an ambulance won't come. I find myself wondering how we'll cope and what we'll do. I wonder if we'd be better off just going into bed and dying than risking the carnage at the local hospital. Just can't face that. Can't believe how bad the country is now.

Hello @StridTheKiller, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.
We hope you don't mind, but when these posts are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources.
You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected]. We see that you are getting some amazing support on this thread - support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.
We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.
Wishing you the very best 💐
MNHQ

I justcwanted to send hugs to @AutumnAesthetic and @StridTheKiller

Thankyou for posting this and getting me to book my smear!

I’ve stopped having an emotional reaction to anything. I don’t know if it’s a defence mechanism or if I really couldn’t give a shit but I’m just ‘Meh’ about everything.

My electric bill came the other day and I can’t afford to pay it. I’m just thinking ‘fuck it I’ll get into debt’ and I genuinely don’t care about the implications.

This ONE message has made my day/week/month, thank you so much for being proactive and booking in ♥️

Thank you so much ♥️ hope you’re doing ok x

I was just discussing this with DH yesterday. I feel a permanent underlying anger about the state of things, inflation, energy prices, country sliding backwards, govt debacle and how a bunch of talentless towering egos could crash the economy. I was saying I need to find away to detach myself from the general current shittiness of things. Try and rise above it somehow before it totally eats away at me.

Not to derail the thread but £16 sounds really high, on Sundays I do batch cook for the week of the week, a roast, 3 or 4 loads of washing and dry in tumble (yes i know) and shower 7 people as well as the usual use of having all 7 of us home and it never goes over £8, it might be worth checking that is correct.

My I'm done moment happens every 1st of the month when all the direct debits come out and we go £900 overdrawn every single month. The same cycle every month even though we are now earning £550 more per month than a few months ago we are still in the same shitty position just surviving no notable treats. what's the point, i know we have to pay our bills, buy food blah blah blah but all the work and zero fun feels so pointless.

From another perspective, I am several years and mostly free, from the clutches of my abusive xh. I feel so empowered to be a skint single, knackered mum. I find the terror in the news so much more manageable than coping with the way he terrorised me and my kids in my home.
Sorry for your loss op.

During the labour and delivery of DD exH never held my hand or cuddled me to take my mind off the pain. He looked at the monitors and said 'I can see the contraction' while i endured the pain of said contraction alone. The 'I'm done' moment came when the Dr was stitching my episiotomy and H was leaning over his shoulder, and the dr actually said, would you like to go and hold your wife's hand while I do this?

How do you think that this comment is going to help people in this thread who feel hopeless?

Does your comment actually help YOU to feel superior to those who are struggling? Because you're not 'over dramatic'.

Maybe you haven't walked in OP's shoes?

I cannot come up with a better reply to @ArcaneMenace (whose username is fitting) than this.