To ask for your “That’s it, I’m done” moment?

[AutumnAesthetic]

Name changed.

I think we can all agree 2020-2022 has been, for most, an absolute gut punch.

I have noticed on here lately (and in the real world actually) that so many people are feeling a real apathy and a sense of “I’m done” BUT not many people can place exactly why, generally feeling it’a just the past few years of stress that has finally taken its toll and now they feel like everything’s a bit hopeless and won’t get better any time soon.

Can you pin point your own personal moment? The straw that broke the camels back I suppose.

my own example is below, feel free to skip it’s just an example:

For myself, it was one day last week. I had some washing and drying to catch up on, bathed both kids and cleaned the house. At the end of the night I looked at the meter and we had used £16 of electric, in a day! Usually use about £5-6. A few moments later received a phone call from the husband of a friend who recently passed away with cervical cancer, we were talking and he said she had been trying to get her smear booked in during 2020 and it was delayed and delayed and he believes if she had gotten the appointment when she initially tried, she might still be with us.

And that was it, after I hung up I sat down and had a little cry. It was my “that’s it, I’m done” moment.

I haven’t been able to shake the feeling since, it’s opened the door up to looking at all the things that have happened the past two years and accepting that yes, it’s all been pretty horrible and I’ve been doing the very British thing of stiff upper lip, crack on and don’t complain.

Thanks in advance for sharing, if you choose to ♥️

I'm a mortgage broker
Am definitely done at the moment

Attitudes like this are so dismissive, demeaning and obnoxious. Just because other people have been through hard times, or periods of history have been difficult does not mean people can't find life and their situations hard now.

All experiences can be dismissed with such nonsensical comparisons? You think life was hard in post war Britain? What about the famine? What about slavery? What about the Holocaust?

People are allowed to feel hardship, they are allowed to feel frustrated and sad and hopeless and they are certainly allowed to turn to others to talk about it

My gas and electricity bill I received today ,I give in!

Really so sorry for everyone struggling
I hear it all, we are living in scary times and the financial issues are scaring me too. I feel exhausted by it and at times, a bit hopeless. I also have some health issues currently which are a worry.
However, I had a horrific childhood and every day I look at how far I’ve come and know that I am resilient and will be ok so I will never give up. One thing I have now that I didn’t have was a constant state of fear snd feeling unsafe
I hope that so many of you will look back on this time and others and be proud of how you got through it and moved towards a more hopeful and comfortable future. It will get better.

People are allowed to feel hardship, they are allowed to feel frustrated and sad and hopeless and they are certainly allowed to turn to others to talk about it

Absolutely and I would even say that is necessary.

@IamEarthymama that was a ray of light, thanks

Me too, thank you

Good evening everyone!

I just wanted to hop on to say that it’s a totally unexpected and overwhelming bonus that so many women here have made an effort to book their smear tests after reading my initial post.

I didn’t expect it at all and it wasn’t my intention, but I can’t convey the comfort and gratitude it has given me. Thank you thank you thank you!

One thing it has made me think about is that life throws us so many horrid curve balls, things we cannot control. But to some extent, being proactive with our health and following up with things like cervical smears is something we CAN do to help prevent a personal disaster.

Next month we are taking part in a run to raise money for cancer research in her memory and we will be spurred on so much by the women here who have been so kind as to share that they will be following up with their smears. Prevention will always be better than cure ♥️♥️♥️

To everyone who has shared their stories, I’m incredibly grateful that you took the time to do so. It’s really hard to write it all down sometimes especially to strangers, but reading these posts tonight has given me a real sense of we are all sort of in this together.

Same. I think with me it's more to do with how positive I felt when we started to come out of Covid measures. Like that was the worst we'd go through for generations and whilst it wasn't plain sailing we'd pretty much got life back to normal. Then Putin, cost of living, political chaos, 43 degree days in Yorkshire does make me wonder if 2019 will be something we yearn for for a long time.

2008, what truly happend, were people just drunk on getting rich so to speak ? Or we they asleep at the wheel, or was information compartmentalized so the left did not know what the right was doing until it all went boom ?

Reached that point ages ago.
Unsympathetic and draining family, chronic illnesses, have had constant colds due to being immune suppressed which go on for weeks, hate my job and my boss, no friends etc. On top of all the doom and gloom in the world. People keep telling me it will get better but the problem is, it never does.

I’ve reached another “I’m done” moment this evening when a friend pointed out that some horrible shitty person had posted this thread on an equally shitty Reddit forum saying I was a troll and questioning my friends passing and her cancer diagnosis. I don’t know wtf is wrong with people I really don’t. I’m happy to provide @MNHQ with proof because cancer isn’t a bloody joke, harping on that smears aren’t helpful is dangerous, and starting a horrible “troll” thread on a subreddit is just so pathetic.

People can be so horrible. Imagine spending your Friday night on Reddit taking the piss out of cervical cancer, they are cretins of the lowest calibre.

Has anyone said smears aren't helpful? I posted earlier that women with cervical cancer symptoms should speak to their GP ASAP, not get a smear, but I certainly did not mean that smears aren't helpful - only that they aren't the right test if you already have symptoms.

That is horrendous! Wtf is wrong with some people! Thankfully nasty and attention seeking people like that are in the minority. Look at the replies in this thread, 99.9% have been supportive and given their condolences for the tragic loss of your friend. Concentrate on all them, not the troll on reddit.

Didn't read the comment that got deleted but does it never strike these people that they are being exactly overdramatic when they post those sorts of I'm not overdramatic attention seeking superiority complex posts? Of course it doesn't but I watch in wonderment at how some people's brains work.

Coming back to the thread, I don't feel this way and it's heartbreaking to read how some of you are experiencing things both mentally and practically. I'll come back if I think of anything useful to say but please do heed the advice and links from Mumsnet and others if you are struggling.

I give few fucks about most things now and choose where to spend my fucks more wisely I hope. It's that late 40s thing again and am actively trying to become a wiser more nuanced version of my 20 year old self. "Being done with <whatever>" can be an empowering or disempowering thing depending what you mean by "being done". What did the OP mean?

Being done with " can be an empowering or disempowering thing depending what you mean by "being done".

Very good point.

Not sure I agree. Anger is sometimes the cause of despair - it's a high draining emotion!

If I wasn't angry, I'd be lost to depression. It gets me up in the morning.

Tbh I can't understand how anyone can look at the state of the world and not be angry.

For me it’s when the UK voted for, and then actually went through with, Brexit.

The idea that a country would do something so damaging, irrational and xenophobic to itself is so depressing. And the fact that the situation is unlikely to be reversed for a generation. At least if you’re not happy with the result of a general election you know things might change in five years.

And pandemic related - how the needs of children and young people were completed pushed aside due to the the perceived needs of older people says something really negative about our society I think.