To ask you to admit doing the annoying things people on MN complain about?

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For an anonymous internet forum, it continually strikes me as odd that people very rarely admit to engaging in the problematic or annoying behaviours complained about on here - it's always someone else doing it, apparently. Whether it's hogging the middle lane on the motorway, having kids who are out of control in public places, being a noisy neighbour or not picking up dog poo, people on MN constantly complain about these things happening around them but if no one on here admits to doing it, who are all these offenders? For example, several people in my neighbourhood are leaving their dog's poo around constantly, but when this is brought up on here every single dog owner loudly exclaims that it it's these dog owners who give them a bad name, that they never go out walking without carrying several bags for good measure! Same with bad driving - people on here love calling out driving pet peeves, but surely at least some people on here are engaging in those very same behaviours e.g. tailgating, driving too slowly or bad parking, that everyone complains about?

Are people on here just squeaky clean or in denial? I admit it, I do hog the middle lane sometimes, there you go 😬

I spoon fed my baby while she was weaning (shock, horror).

What's objectionable about that?

It's tube seats for me. I do have my favoured bus seats though. I was coming back from St Mary's Paddington after a tit-squashing mammogram and bagged the second best seat on the 36 to Victoria..

It's the single front seat on the left just behind the driver. You not only have lots of room for your bags but have a magnificent view of the road and can pretend to drive the bus while checking your performance against a professional.

Everyone knows the best seats on a double decker bus are the ones in the top front row. But not being really hard like @5128gap or needlessly confrontational like @FortunesFavour or @ReneBumsWombats as a woman I don't sit there on my own any more because I worry about the people sitting behind me who might have a point to prove against a weaker person.

And as I keep saying, other seats are available.

I'm being a bit tongue in cheek with that one but baby-led weaning (where you basically never spoon feed) is or at least used to be very popular on here, to the extent that spoon feeding was considered dreadful and guaranteed to lead to a life of overeating and obesity 😁

You like to sit on the top deck? You were not able bodied enough to move seats a short while ago.

Perhaps you'd feel safer if you could understand that of all the reasons people want to sit down, getting some sort of pleasure out of your company is the least likely of the lot?

Oh, right.

I was too scared to do BLW. Kids are a healthy weight but I may have passed on the genes for gaining two pounds by looking at a doughnut as an adult.

I like my mother-in-law.

Yes you do keep saying that, but I have replied previously and am getting bored of repeating myself…

There would not be many free seats available at rush hour when I travel. Nor when you travel either I expect (unless you are trundling around the District Line off peak, or are talking late night tubes - which you clearly were not, at least in the original version of your ever changing story). Other passengers enter via other doors and would also be making for the free seats. Why race a fellow passenger to a free seat when there’s one right there I could sit on?

Perhaps I have mobility issues and can’t move to said seat when the train is moving. Perhaps I want to charge my phone. Perhaps I’m anxious about the group of blokes over there. Perhaps that person reeks of BO. Perhaps I want to look out the window.

There are many reasons why I might choose a particular seat, none of which are any of your concern. I can choose any seat that is free for whatever reason. I do not seek your approval nor pander to your silly behaviour. Oh and I am definitely not seeking thrills from
choosing the seat next to you, sorry to disappoint.

Again you are back to suggesting that there are tonnes of seats free which was not what you said originally and you are once again manipulating people’s responses to depict yourself as a victim. You’re not a victim in the scenario you describe, you are an annoyance to fellow passengers and needlessly rude and antisocial.

That's not middle lane hogging though. If you are consistently overtaking then that's not hogging.

@ReneBumsWombatsI would like to sit on the top deck but i choose not to any more for a number of reasons. They are boring for most people but I will outline them for you because you seem fascinated by my life.

1. it's a bit of a faff to climb the stairs of the top;
2. I'm not that good at climbing stairs anymore;
3. I am concerned that I have no view of people sitting behind me;
4. When the bus reaches my stop I am anxious about when to get up and worried about barrelling down the aisle on a moving bus and tumbling down the stairs;
5. Therefore I sit on the lower deck;
6. These decisions are completely rational;
7. Why is this any of your business?
8. Why do you want to sit next to someone when other seats are available and you have given no reasonable explanation for why you want to do that?

You're right, they're boring, and they don't matter so I haven't read them. I'm just pointing out the constant lies changes in your story and motivations.

What is interesting, though, is that you can reel off a list of reasons about why you want to sit in seat X. Yet according to you, the only reason anyone else would want seat X is because they are deviants who get off on being close to you.

@FortunesFavour I am entirely consistent. Why do you want to sit next to me when other seats are available?

in answer to number 7 I’d suggest the same reason that you keep demanding people justify to you why they want a particular seat. I’ve no idea why you have appointed yourself chief of seat placement and arbiter of reasons passengers want to sit down - you tell me.

I also see that it’s fine for you to select the right seat for your own anxiety and mobility purposes, but completely outrageous and bullying behaviour in others.

Seriously, if you are so very anxious on public transport about who sits where in relation to you, then you need to deal with your issues rather than endure the torture of your paranoia about other people, what their motives are, where they sit etc.

Aaand I’ve just answered that one (again) a few posts up. Go and take a peak.

People have given you zillions of reasons why they might not want to make their way over to another seat on a semi-full bus when a suitable one is right by them. I don't know how often we can try to explain that it's not about you. You have enough reasons of your own. Who the hell sees choosing a bus seat as "picking a target"? Who the hell claims victimhood because people who won't be cowed by social pressure from a complete stranger might hold back in the face of physical threat?

You're not consistent at all. You refuse to remove the bag, you agree to move the bag, you say nothing, you make a weird, inappropriate sexual remark. You just want space, you don't want your bag dirty, you're scared of creepy men, you'll sit next to women being followed by creepy men, you'll crease your clothes, you go upstairs, you don't go upstairs. Liz Truss made fewer U turns than this.

If you feel so victimised and scared about travelling by bus then go by car or don't invite potential confrontation by trying to control unoccupied seats.

“Why do you want to sit next to someone when other seats are available and you have given no reasonable explanation for why you want to do that?”

You keep saying that as if the option of sitting next to nobody existed. It doesn’t.
I’m just baffled, @limitedperiodonly

@ReneBumsWombats they are not lies or even interesting but you asked.

I keep asking you why you particularly want to sit next to me on public transport when there are other seats available. You never say apart from there being scary blokes. I understand the fear of male violence and would welcome and defend you in that situation but that is not my usual experience on public transport for me and I travel at all times of the day and night in London.

So why do you have a burning desire to sit next to me when there are other seats available?

I think it is because you like confrontation but only on your own safe terms.

No, I didn’t ask. I don't care. Sit where you want. But stop claiming that nobody else has good reasons for where they sit when you can reel off a list as long as your arm about your reasons for your choice.

You keep asking why I want to sit next to you when I've said over and over that I don't want to sit next to you (stop lying and saying I've not given these reasons, the posts are right there). I want to sit by the bell/away from the back/near the exit/wherever I happen to be when the bus pulls off. I can't seem to convince you that you, personally, just don't feature in my thought process. In fact, if you're incredibly attractive, I'll probably avoid you so that I don't stare if you're male or start feeling inadequate if you're female.

It. Is. Not. About. You.

And given you have 500 reasons for where you like to sit, I don't know why you can't grasp this. Or why you think anyone owes you an explanation for where they sit in a public place. What's the extra seat for, your ego?

Not at all. I'm the least physically intimidating person you could ever meet. And 'fighting ones corner' is a figure of speech meaning to stand up for oneself, not actual physical fighting. Interesting you consider physical violence impressive though. I assure you, it isn't.
My point was, i am used to being around people who are physically intimidating, and also those like yourself who try to intimidate by assuming an attitude of superiority, which means I am perhaps more likely to challenge your ridiculous posturing than your usual targets.
And yes, of course I pick and choose who I will confront for their rudeness. No one but a fool would do otherwise. Just as I'm sure you'd pick and choose who to refuse to move your bag for.

IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!

Sorry for the caps but it’s really frustrating to explain over and over again that passengers select their seats for their own reasons, entirely unrelated to you. They are not looking for a victim, they are not seeking a thrill. In my case it’s usually because my boots kill my feet by the end of the day and I just want to sit in the nearest seat. And I’m knackered so I don’t want a needless confrontation with a woman who won’t move her sodding bag!

However had you been so rude to me as you described in your original post - I.e deliberately blocking a free seat then imperiously gesturing me to piss off and sit elsewhere, then I probably would choose to sit next to you to get my own back and play you at your own game. This would not be to get a weird thrill, or to intimidate you. It would be because you had been very rude and annoyed me, so that would make me more inclined to want to annoy you back. Partly human nature, partly because I know this rotten trick relies on people being too polite to say anything. Partly to discourage you from doing it again.

But I would not choose to sit beside you for any of the wild reasons that you imagine. It would give me no frisson or thrill, I’m not seeking to intimidate you, I am standing up for myself in the face of very twatty behaviour from you.

I don’t know you from Adam. I’d have no idea that you’d interpret me sitting next to you as “selecting a victim” - that’s a mad rationale. If I was psychic and I knew that sitting next to you would cause you such distress and catastrophic thoughts, then I’d probably decide against it to avoid triggering you because I’m not a dick. But I can’t know that. All I know is a woman has blocked my seat with her bag and then been very rude to me.

I'm not seat monitor but apart from what boils down to "because I want to" no one has said why they want to sit next to others when as I keep saying other seats are available? That is weird because I travel on London Transport a lot and with the exception of the Jubliee Line between 5.30pm and 7.30pm there is usually a bit of space. Why would anyone seek confrontation or to make people uncomfortable when you don't have to?

Good grief, the reasons have been explained to you over and over again. Scroll up to my post at 20.36 this evening - it’s right there.

This is so strange, are you reading any of our responses or are you lost in delusion?

Blimey you three really do make a meal about why you want to sit next to people on public transport when there are other seats available.

no one has said why they want to sit next to others when as I keep saying other seats are available?

They've said it a million times and the posts are immediately upthread. For your own sake, stop lying about this. It's making you look ridiculous.

And it doesn't matter anyway if they hadn't. Nobody owes you an explanation for where they choose to sit on the bus.

And if you don't want to invite confrontation, stop blocking seats and being totally antisocial and weird about it. No wonder the bus is such a fraught experience for you. Who lives like that!

It’s because we’re irritated about you being such a disingenuous arse.

I actually don’t think you have any of the paranoia issues you’ve described. You’re just grasping at straws to justify behaving like a twat.

Why would you insist on sitting next to someone when you could choose to sit somewhere else?