To ask you to admit doing the annoying things people on MN complain about?

[GreenLinks]

For an anonymous internet forum, it continually strikes me as odd that people very rarely admit to engaging in the problematic or annoying behaviours complained about on here - it's always someone else doing it, apparently. Whether it's hogging the middle lane on the motorway, having kids who are out of control in public places, being a noisy neighbour or not picking up dog poo, people on MN constantly complain about these things happening around them but if no one on here admits to doing it, who are all these offenders? For example, several people in my neighbourhood are leaving their dog's poo around constantly, but when this is brought up on here every single dog owner loudly exclaims that it it's these dog owners who give them a bad name, that they never go out walking without carrying several bags for good measure! Same with bad driving - people on here love calling out driving pet peeves, but surely at least some people on here are engaging in those very same behaviours e.g. tailgating, driving too slowly or bad parking, that everyone complains about?

Are people on here just squeaky clean or in denial? I admit it, I do hog the middle lane sometimes, there you go 😬

@ReneBumsWombats I promise you I would not move my bag for you if there other seats available.

I admire your perseverance ReneBumsWombats, as well as your user name.

Haha, thanks. I don't mind admitting the exchanges annoy me. The middle lane hoggers should bother me more, since they're actually dangerous...but it's clear from their posts that they generally aren't malicious. They're just muppets who don't understand how they can still cause congestion and unnecessary obstruction even if they're going at 70, and by their own admission aren't competent enough drivers to know how to change lanes. That being the case, of course, they shouldn't be driving at all, but somehow the lack of intention makes it a bit less grating, even if they are a pile up waiting to happen.

People banging on about their entitlement to seats they don't occupy and haven't paid for, and not even being honest about it (as per constantly changing stories) are irritating.

In real life, everyone moves their bag when asked. And if they don't, I'll happily move it to the floor even if that creases your clothes or goes against what you want and mind. Once you're on public transport, you're not special, you're a peasant like everyone else.

A friend of mine likes to travel by unicycle. Solves the "person next to you" issue, I guess.

You don't need to. Like I said, I'll do it for you.

Do I come across as frightened of being annoying?

@ReneBumsWombats you are coming across as someone who seeks needless confrontation. Would you really remove my bag from the seat next to me if as I have said lots of times there were other seats available? Why do you feel the need to do that?

Would you do that to every person you want to teach a lesson or do you pick and choose? How do you do that?

Sick to death of people prattling on at middle lane hoggers. Ffs that rule is fine if there's little traffic on a motorway. So what would it look like if everyone was in the left hand lane when the motorway is busy? As long as you're moving at the speed limit and moving faster than left lane them you are continuously overtaking. Dickhead driving over 90 piss me off more especially when they move from the right crossing all the lanes and exit at the last minute. These cause more accidents than I care to witness.

I call people babes
I expect a fuss for my birthday
I have a toilet brush and use bleach
I tut at noisy/unruly children in public places

Actually I’ll just be engrossed in my phone. This is real life not Eastenders.

And you're coming across as someone who is rude and antisocial on public transport, and most likely not honest about anything you're saying.

If you don't like confrontation (and we won't go into how I'm confrontational while you're merely fighting a good fight) then may I suggest you a) don't try to stop people taking available seats on public transport and b) don't keep courting my responses.

@mrshoho I suspect I am a middle lane hogger. I don't drive much any more except when we hire a car to visit my MIL about 200 miles away. But DH and I are excellent drivers.

We usually hit the M4 and then M5 at about 7pm on a Friday. The inside lane is always filled with lorries going at about 50mph and it is tiring and also quite dangerous to keep bobbing and weaving even if you do use your mirrors and indicate which I always do.

I usually settle on the inside lane and about 65mph once we get past Bristol because the traffic thins. I don't usually go in the outside lane but sometimes I do and if I am there I am not gong to act like a traffic cop controlling the speed but I am in front of you and will move over when I am ready.

The problem is one person’s “seeks needless confrontation” is another person’s “refusal to pander to annoying seat hoggers no matter how rude they are, regardless of their strange paranoia that innocently trying to get home translates as plotting how to get their thrills by sitting next to a random woman”.

Or perhaps I should change that to “seat hoggers who don’t want their clothes to get creased”? I’m not sure, keeps changing.

Would you really remove my bag from the seat next to me if as I have said lots of times there were other seats available?

And yes, of course I would. If I didn't want to sit in any of those seats - perhaps because I don't like sitting at the back where loud yobs tend to go, or I want to be near the bell, or I'm nervous about walking further than I need to on a moving bus, or any other of a million reasons that aren't your business and have nothing to do with you - then why wouldn't I?

If those other seats are so easy to get to, you can move. If you can't/won't do that, why do you assume everyone else can/must?

I hog the middle lane! 🙋‍♀️
I have also not picked up my dogs diarrhoea, and I don't pick up poo on long country walks where there are no bins for miles.
My 18mo doesn't sit silently at the table at a restaurant and sometimes I let him walk about a bit or even, shock horror, watch cocomelon on my phone.

Do you know who I despise? People who go on lovely country walks, or ,disproportionately, fell runners, who leave their food rubbish in these lovely green places. Have your picnic and put your wrappers back whatever you carried your picnic in!

Depends on whether you looked like you might turn violent. If you looked safe enough, I'd push your bag towards you or drop it in your lap and sit down anyway. If you looked scary (and my bar for that is high, as despite being a small woman, I'm from a rough area, do a high risk job and am used to fighting my corner ) I'd probably do nothing, as a seat isn't worth risking assault from a dangerous low life.
It also depends on how heavy your bag looked.
I asked a man to move a suit case once from the only spare seat, and he refused saying he didn't want to leave it in the luggage rack. I wouldn't have tried to lug that about, but luckily the ticket guy overheard and told him 'well give your case your seat then, and you stand' which he did.

@5128gap so you pick and choose the people you feel you can intimidate? Does that make you feel good? Why do you feel the need to say that though small you are from a rough area and used to fighting? Is that to make anyone feel impressed?

Why do seek needless confrontation but only with people you think can't fight back? That's more antisocial than leaving a handbag on the seat when as I've said many times other seats are available.

Yes, I'll admit that if you were built like Mike Tyson and looked like you'd beat me up over the bag on the seat, I wouldn't try it with you. Some things aren't worth it. It hasn't yet come to that for me. Everyone I've asked has been normal looking and normal reacting.

However, creepy men on public transport (and I have experience of them, who hasn't) are one reason why I might sit next to a woman if I could.

This is honestly your worst attempt yet at trying to twist the situation to make yourself the helpless victim and everyone who doesn't cow to your nonsense the bullying aggressor.

If you're so scared of any kind of interaction, don't try to block the seat next to you at all. You claim to have mobility issues so on the assumption you use accessible seats, it's really nasty to be blocking those.

😂😂 Oh I see, now the seat hogging and rude gestures are somehow part of a righteous quest to defend the underdog. Brilliant.

Let me see, so far we’ve had obnoxious seat hogging/rude gestures justified by a) you’re only bothered because you are a creep and a sexual deviant and you also think you’re Samuel L Jackson (that one directed at me, which was a personal highlight), b) passengers are only asking to sit down for kicks due to the irresistible allure the seat hogger, c) my clothes might get creased and now d) bravely standing up for the underdog via the medium of preventing others from sitting down in spare seats.

Go on, do another….

@ReneBumsWombats so like @5128gap you pick and choose your targets when there are other seats available because it makes you feel good to make a point and you think you can do it safely because they don't look like Mike Tyson.

As a woman I understand the need to feel safe As I've explained I've called a girl over to me who was being scared by a predatory man because an older woman once did it for me. You didn't mention that in your avid picking apart of my posts which have been consistent - I would prefer people not to sit next to me when I have bags or things on the seat next to me when other seats are available.

If you said: "Can I sit next to you because that bloke is scary?" I'd say of course and if it was safe I'd film him and report him the the British Transport Police.

I'd always do it. It's usually safer for a middle-aged woman to intervene in those situations than for a man because no-one perceives her as a threat whereas a man might feel a challenge from another man left no alternative but to escalate matters.

The downside is that people like you, @5128gap and @FortunesFavour think they can be really hard and boast about their assertiveness and rough upbringing and joy at confrontation. Why?

I don't know whether you are a middle aged woman yet but trust me, our perceived harmlessness is our super power.

For the nth time of asking: why do you insist on sitting next to anyone on public transport when other seats are easily available?

@FortunesFavour I keep asking but you never answer. Why do you want to sit next to people when other seats are available?

I just can’t believe of all the ‘confessions’ on this thread, including some extremely dangerous driving, the one that has riled people up is bus seats 🤣

You're hilarious. Choosing a seat is "picking a target". And you think everyone else is needlessly confrontational.

You've changed your story and your motivations about a zillion times now, so we can safely dismiss them all as whatever nonsense you think will win the argument at any given time. The only known fact is that you attempt to manipulate where people sit by commandeering unoccupied seats you haven't paid for, and relying on British social awkwardness to do the rest.

Some people don't care about social awkwardness or your enormous sense of antisocial entitlement, and will request to sit down anyway. If you continue to try to make them uncomfortable, some of them will just move the bag anyway, as everyone should because seats are for bums, not bags.

The fact that some of us wouldn't risk getting beaten up over it - much as you would move your bag if Don Corleone requested it, and probably pay his fare too - doesn't mean that you are being victimised, or targeted, or any other such utter rubbish.

It just means that not allowing oneself to be manipulated by you does not necessarily entail being an utter idiot in the face of physical danger.

Aah, so it’s about female safeguarding too now? Good-o.

Has it occurred to you that a woman is less likely to challenge a big bloke who is being a dick, much as she might like to, because of the risk he poses physically? Rather than assuming she’s actually some nutcase who is seeking out the smaller in stature to have a pop at? Apparently not.

I haven’t boasted about my rough upbringing, nor would I take any joy at this pointless confrontation that you have created. Quite the reverse - I’d rather be able to sit in a free seat at the end of a long day without having to deal with a twat who won’t remove their bag. But I can’t - you won’t let me sit down because reasons a, b, c and d above (delete as applicable).

I like going places with my husband. We go to kids parties together if we’re both free (weird, according to mumsnet), we both do the shopping together (annoying apparently), etc.

I can be a middle lane hog on occasion. I'm getting better but still do it a bit.

I also sometimes undertake.

I swear offhandedly in front of kids. I'm not trying to corrupt them or to annoy their parents, I just swear so much normally that I forget to turn it off.

I merrily eat smelly foods in the office.

I frequently ask questions and then fail to actually listen to the answer so I have no idea what was said.

I spoon fed my baby while she was weaning (shock, horror).

Oh and I like going to the supermarket with the whole family. Me, DH and our two kids all trot along together with a trolley and a pram 😈