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These texts show he's cheating on me. Don't they?

229 replies

Prora · 25/10/2022 15:36

I was on mine and my boyfriends iPad closing down some apps, in the process I've come across some texts between my boyfriend of 18 months and a woman dated last week. It appears he gave his number to this woman on a night out. It was a night where he was meant to come home, but he told me that he got drunk with some friends and didn't make the train.

In the text messages (at 11.30 at night) he asks where she is and she tells him she's in a bar. He tells her he doesn't believe she's in a bar and she texts him saying, 'I am. Not sleeping with you or letting you spend the night.' He then responds, 'You're a saint.'
They then exchange several messages where he is trying to find the bar she is in. He can't find her so eventually gets a taxi to his friends house. She then texts him in the morning saying 'You wanted to stay out ;)' and he responds that 'I know I did! You were hiding from me telling me the wrong bar.'
Then the following day he text her asking how she is, and she replies she has covid, and he takes a test and tells her he is negative. Then the last text he says, 'Let me know when you are back in (our home town) and want to get covid, I'll take you out.' with a kissing face emoji on the end.

Typing all this out. Fuck. I don't know what to do. There isn't an innocent explanation is there. Do I confront him when he is home later? I want to call the woman and find out what actually happened.

OP posts:
thinkingcapon · 30/10/2022 20:29

@Prora I was just checking in to see how you are holding up x

LuluLehman · 26/02/2023 12:49

dudsville · 25/10/2022 15:43

How do you not know what to do? I'm sorry, i hear how mean my question sounds and i don't mean it that way, but you don't even need to confront him. You actually have all the information you need here.

It's really strange when you're in it. All reason goes out of the window. It's as if the brain tries to protect you by going into denial. It's as though the primitive brain tells you it might not be so bad, that there might be an explanation and a future, while the rational side tries to wrestle you round to seeing the truth. It's really weird. I hope the OP gets what you are trying to do because sometimes you need your friends to shout at you to get through to the rational side.I know, we're not her friends but right now we're what she's got.

LuluLehman · 26/02/2023 12:50

I changed my mind about posting that last message but don't know how to delete it. Oh well...

LuluLehman · 26/02/2023 12:52

Prora · 26/10/2022 01:34

Hi everyone. Very late update. I decided to do lots of probing about the night out situation and his friends over dinner to see if he would admit to anything, even small things like giving her his number, which he didn't. I thought about what I wanted to do next, and I'm someone who really needs the truth, so I decided to snoop on his phone. No regrets about snooping at all, in fact I would encourage people in these situations. I found several women he'd been sexting, including one discussing fantasies involving me and asking this woman when she was coming to his house, sending them photos of his dick and getting photos from them. I feel sick and am in a state of shock. I can't even digest this. I have left him and he's blocked. Before I blocked him he was trying to justify it. I just feel sickened by everything I've found out about him, he's not the man I thought he was.

What?!! Well done with the sleuthing. You needed that for your peace of mind. Onwards and upwards.

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