Halloween Judgement- keep your views to yourself

[HappyHalloweenWeenies]

I'm not religious and love Halloween. I have always celebrated it and my dp celebrates with me. Nothing too scary or out there because our kids are young. No chainsaw Massacre figures in garden or dripping blood, just the usual pumpkins, ghosts and witches, food and pre agreed trick or treating with neighbours. Our kids love it too for dressing up and have been taught in a fun way and not a 'celebrating evil' way.

Anyway, sil and mil invited themselves down this week. I didn't invite them and made it very clear to dp that as it was half term I would be doing the usual Halloween stuff so kids don't miss out. Dp fine with this and we arranged a few activities like pumpkin picking, carving etc. Sil and mil here the whole week. Both kids going to the village party but no expectation for either mil or sil and kids to attend, just one evening.

Anyway, sil been fine. A few questions about it, nothing phased rudely. Politely declined Halloween party, which we offered with the caveat if it's not her thing that is fine no judgement. Sil is a fairweather Christian, eg church for marriage and getting into schools so we weren't sure if we should ask or not but thought it would be rude not to.

Mil has been making a few snide comments. Kids watching ridiculously sanitised Halloween songs on TV (think cocomelon) and scoffs things like 'how can they have a 'happy halloween' with all those ghoulish characters? Trying to dissuade kids from their own pumpkin designs and do ones she approves of etc. It's all been very low key so I haven't mentioned it to dp but aibu to think that as she knows we have conflicting views and she invited herself down knowing full well we celebrate it she needs to keep her views to herself? It's starting to grate on me as I don't want my kids to start seeing evil in perfectly innocent dressing up etc.

I feel it's a bit like if we invited ourselves down at Christmas and then made snide comments about going to church.

Aibu or is sil approach better and mil is engaging in weird power games?

Well, I’m both American (with our gaudy insistence on celebrating capitalist nonsense 😉) and a practicing Christian and YANBU in my book. It’s your house. They’re your children. If you want to go all our for Halloween, why not?! Snide comments would irritate me too.

As for pumpkin being wasted??? It's organic matter..it rots and is good for the soil.

Honestly pumpkin is the most gorgeous vegetable and I get upset I can only get it in October.

And the Americans are amazing for inventing pumpkin pie it's so scrummy!

No disco music I can assure you. I think you have the wrong idea!

I didn't say Samhain was evil. It's not.

"No chainsaw Massacre figures in garden or dripping blood, just the usual pumpkins, ghosts and witches, food and pre agreed trick or treating with neighbours"

Maybe the right approach is to do a bit of skyclad devil worshipping in the garden after the kids go to bed and really give them something to think about?

It’s because they are Christians. I used to get complaints when I taught Macbeth. Bonkers!

And Halloween has been a thing here for centuries, people have always celebrated it in some form, but now we are getting cross cultural ideas from America.
I can't get mad at pumpkin pie because it's delicious and the other main import is making it less scary and expanding the costumes, again not objectional.

How does it do any good when left on a concrete doorstep for 2 weeks ?

I find it wasteful. I have adult kids - if we carved pumpkins we are them but I'm goi g to bet 95% are wasted and left to
Rot . Sorry for having some sort of
Social conscience but I find it difficult when so
Many are starving to
Leave a pumpkin to rot away and most do - most wouldn't have the first clue what to cook with one .

Yeah bah humbug. I've said no issue with anyone who wants to do the whole Halloween Shebang. But respect those who don't and leave us be too eh?

To be fair, I have some lovely Christian friends who do not celebrate themselves but wish us happy Halloween. And sil has shown tolerance.

I think it's using religion as an excuse to be judgemental personally.

To posters complaining about commercialisation, I'd also encourage you to look at all the craftiness on Pinterest or mummy blog sites.

Imho you haven't done Halloween until you've attempted to make a mummy's finger sausage roll or carved a Jack'o'Lantern face into a red pepper and filled it with "spaghetti brains".

If it is a celebration of anything, it is a celebration of childish playfulness.

The rules are if you don't want to play, don't put a pumpkin out and then no one will ring on your door.

But respect those who don't and leave us be too eh?

Where did I say I expected you to celebrate it.
I expect people who do not celebrate it to tolerate those that do.

All festivals create waste. Ramadan must waste and enormous amount of food for example, and yet I think it's a very important festival culturally for those who celebrate it. I wouldn't dream of saying how it's a 'commercial con' to make people buy more food.

How many people actually eat the whole turkey at Christmas? Does none of that get wasted too?

This thread is not about forcing you to partake, it's about tolerance

I'm not
Christian . Not religious at all . I do t out a tree up at Xmas cos I'm Alone and can't be remotely arsed ....

Don't give a hoot about the religious aspect .

I do a Ouija board every week 😂.

But the plastic spiders and shite I can live without! And I do !

(I have real ones! And rats ! )

To be fair, I have some lovely Christian friends who do not celebrate themselves but wish us happy Halloween.

They don't literally wish you happy Halloween, as you would Christmas or a birthday, I hope. I really do hope that's not a thing with some now

If this thread is about tolerance - why even start it ?
With the title you have ???

Why dont you keep
Your views to yourself ? Stop foisting them on everyone else and just go enjoy yourself ?

Because tolerance means keeping your judgement to yourself even if you don't agree.
Which mil has not done well but sil has.

And Ramadan and Xmas do t see tribes of children knocking doors asking for donations/ money/ sweets do they ?

Or have I missed that bit ?

Look up "irony " .....

Children ask for money at Chinese New year.
Carol singers ask for mince pies, mulled wine and a fire.
No, no other festival is the same as Halloween so I'm sure you can pick holes in why this is somehow 'worse'.

It's not judgemental to ask others not to be judgemental to your face when they knew the score.

'how can they have a 'happy halloween' with all those ghoulish characters? Trying to dissuade kids from their own pumpkin designs and do ones she approves of etc.

Tolerance doesn't forbid you from giving your own opinion, which is all she appears to have done. (See above site)

@feindVicarInATutu do you ever travel by plane? Buy helium balloons? Drive a car when strictly speaking you could walk/bus/cycle? Buy unnecessary treats and gifts for friends/family on birthdays or at Christmas? Buy products with palm oil in? Have a longer shower than strictly necessary? Use disposable batteries? Buy any fast fashion ever? Use any harsh chemicals cleaning your house? Fail to buy organic food? Have electric lights on your Christmas tree? Have a tarmac'd spot or a nice lawn instead of a wild garden? There are millions of things we do that have some kind of adverse/ socially irresponsible impact.

The amount of food waste in this country is grotesque, yes, but picking on Halloween pumpkins is a bit silly. Glass houses and stones etc.

Quote not site.

HappyHalloweenWeenies
Because tolerance means keeping your judgement to yourself even if you don't agree.
Which mil has not done well but sil has.

Look up "irony " .....

Well, thing is, a keep my opinion about the nastier aspects of her religion to myself so think it's only fair she could do the same for our traditions.