Help me settle an argument - sex in the later years

[Peabrain12]

Me and DH are having a debate. I think as you get older sex sort of dries up. I’m perimenopausal I think and my drive isn’t what it was! Plus a few other heath issues and constant disappointment about my expanding waist, means I’m not up for it as much as I was.

DH thinks most men would do it every day if they could.

we started debating and I said I think this is just what happens and I doubt the 60-70 year olds in our life have much sex. After menopause does it slow down a bit?

or does the drive come back when you get older?!

The last five years of my marriage were sexless for a variety of reasons - his MH, young kids, stresses of life - I assumed I wasn’t interested anymore (still masturbated though), and then I met my new partner this year….I’m 50, and I’ve never had so much sex. I can’t get enough of him. Making up for lost time, or perimenopausal perhaps although I’ve had partial hysterectomy so I have no idea.

My friends and I have had this conversion with each other and it turns out that our husbands on their deathbeds wouldn't turn down an opportunity to shag.

How old are they?

I think sex wanes a bit in very long term relationships, but doesn't die out! I know my parents were having sex well into their 70s as I almost walked in on them 😳!

I certainly hope to continue when the zimmer frame is along side the bed. I expect to still have needs.

I understand that the Dutch even have care workers to assist in such situations.

Erm... assist how?

I completely agree with you!
I also think that TV film etc push out the idea that it’s just young( beautiful) people who have sex. I’m intrigued though as to how people would be able to assist 😃

They don't actually. Not in their 70s. Every second or third time or sometimes weekly. They still enjoy sex though. Just saying......

CookPassBabtridge Yes care workers with specialist training assist with this with disabled people in the uk ( or at least used to) . You have to have been trained. I did it . ( it was many years ago i think the course was called Spods or similar)

We were discussing ageing with friends (in general not sex related) and I did say that I still felt as though I was in my 20s, unfortunately my body kept reminding me I'm not.

Can I ask what it entails? I work with disabled people but could never do anything like that.

My dh wouldn't do it everyday.
He can easily go weeks between. (And we pretty much always do actually. We'll have sex 2-3 days in a row then anywhere from 3-6 weeks before the next 2-3 days.)

He's barely into 40s and I'm 3 years younger but his sex drive has always been lower than mine.

I've been less bothered of late due to health issues too though so brought me closer to his level of interest.

I think we are comparing apples to pears. Very diff to being super sexual in any age when you are dating, going out with diff ppl, not in a long relationship (marriage or not but living together with kids). The routine kills the desire, the day to day things you go do wanting or not for the family kills the vibe. Super easy to feel sexual when you meet someone (boyfriend, partners whatever) once in a while, when they do not have involvement in your routine. What not to like? You meet only in good times… try to keep that flame while functioning as a family through day to day routine , fulltime work (paid or not paid such as housewife), etc.

i thibk it is unfair to compare those hooking up, with partners/boyfriends living separately, childless to those rubbing a family on a routinely basis. Lots of love and big hugs, not easy I know! I haven’t mastered that part of life either so can’t offer much help - sorry ❤️‍🩹❤️❤️