To wonder if I should report parent sitting in car with nursery child.

[wellstopdoingitthen]

I live opposite a primary school. There's a mum who collects her nursery child at 11.30 then sits in the car with her until the older children finish at 3pm. She usually sits there with the engine running which is right next to the playground. I'm not sure if I should do anything or if I'm being a busy body.
I know the little one is in there because I did ask the mum to turn off her engine during the really hot weather. I got an earful because apparently she needed it on because it was hot in the car.
Yabu- keep your nose out
Yanbu- you should notify the school/authorities

That’s really odd does she bring a pack up so they’re not going hungry? I don’t think she will be trying to save on petrol if she has the engine running. Ask her if she wants a brew bringing out.

It is neglectful if the children are not being fed and watered. She could drive to a park or soft play if she doesn’t want to go home.

We haven’t used videos since 1999, whats she going to watch it on? Her big back fidelity tv? 🤣🤣

I’d alert the nursery and social services.

While it may be there is something awful going on at home, that poor child shouldn’t be stuck - bored out of her mind - in a car for hours on end! Dreadful parenting.

Definitely report.

We understand that. What we're saying is that if the mum is unable to do those for whatever reason (mental or physical), it's worth letting the school know as it is severe enough to be potentially impacting the DCs

We're not using the word "reporting" as in grassing her in, more like raising potential concerns for the school to keep an eye on and offer any support that that mum could benefit from

It may be the catalyst to get her the help she needs which in turn will benefit the kids

@Shauny098 so what do you call a YouTube video then?
Video doesn't mean an actual video tape

I’d call it YouTube, not one person I know refers to watching YouTube as watching a video 🤦🏼‍♀️😫😂

You must live ina very odd place.
'I saw a cute cat video on yotube'
'Sharah is obsessed with getting her video just right for tiktok'
'Tom managed to get I video on his phone of jacks first steps'

What would you say in these scenarios?

And Youtube itself says "Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube."

I agree I’d definitely tell school.

Wow that's the last answer I was expecting

I see I should have said a YouTube, Netflix, Prime video, Iplayer, or any other streamed, downloaded or home made motion picture. Instead of the word video. I sure am behind with the times.

I’m sure people in Scotland use private nurseries if they need to go back to work though? Usually around when the child is one. Maybe it’s called something different but in England we call this nursery. Funded nursery is from 3 yes.

What are you on?? It’s just a brand name, there are other video platforms out there too. Why do you think someone who films content for YouTube is called a VIDEOgrapher. Jeez….

😂

It is worth registering a concern with the school and while it may be practical behaviour (travel time, lunch, nap, turn around for pick up) it may also be detrimental to the child (no active time, lack of varied stimulation) or symptomatic of an abusive or unstable home. The school safeguarding lead can then decide what is appropriate to do with that information and if it's part of a concerning picture.

Having an engine idling outside your house is bloody annoying. I know when people are doing it outside mine because it reverberates. Fortunately I just cop learner drivers and people pulling up to make phone calls for a short period.
It's a right waste of resources to turn into air pollution for little gain too.

I would be suspicious of a domestic abuse situation or poor mental health of the mother. Either way, it is abuse to keep a child locked in a car for 3.5 hours a day, every day. If she strapped the child in a high chair for 3.5 continuous hours a day in the house , would you think that acceptable? It does need to be mentioned to someone as it’s a safeguarding issue.

• how does the child use the toilet/get their nappy changed?
• does the child get fed?
• how does the child get a break from sitting/get adequate exercise?
• Are the child’s social and emotional needs being looked after if the mother is sat in the front and they’re in the back?
• how is the child getting affection in those 3.5 hours?
• what chance does that child get to play or explore their surroundings?

it’s a completely different matter as a one off, or if you’re going on a long journey. But for a child to be missing out on 3.5 hours of development building every day, it’s very worrying. Going to nursery in the morning isn’t enough.

In the end, we're all voicing opinions left, right and centre, some posters arguing with each other, but the OP hasn't been back since the thread was started. One post and they scarpered. That always makes me wonder.

@StapFooterin
You're right OP has not come back. Could have got murdered by engine woman after following Mumsnet advice to invite her in for tea (and some YouTube videos).

God, why don’t you mind your own business

get a life !

@gimmepeaceandsky do you know nothing about safeguarding

Imagine if we all just minded our own business. What a terrible world.

Idling is illegal - and awful for air quality - if it was near my house or a school I would report the first time I saw it. (And I have.)

Surely it costs a fortune too, cheaper to go to cafe or park.

Actually it is illegal to keep your engine on whilst you are parked.

So, you would only know this if you were at home, all day, watching them for 3.5hrs. I presume you watch her drop all of her children off at 9am, if you know there are older children?

Do you not work, or have anything else to do than stand at your window? Whom else do you watch?

Very odd behaviour. In fact, I would say it's harassment if you were to report this lady after approaching her already. Why was her csr running, so she could keep cool, bothering you?

This lady could be struggling for any number of reasons, she could just be saving herself some petrol by waiting 3.5hrs for the other children. (Please for the love of God do not say you know how far she has to travel, because that's extra stalkery!)

You just don't know. Unless the child has been abandoned, neglected, looks starved, or bruised - Stop spying on them! I work with vulnerable people and I seriously deplore people like yourself who make life so much unnecessarily harder for these parents and waste time. You will put a target on the back of a potentially innocent woman.

If she is struggling, don't kick her while she's already down. Her life really shouldn't concern you. Don't push her to some suicidal idiations because you think a Mum and baby parked in a car for 3.5hrs is illegal - It's not illegal.

Now, peel your nose and eyeballs from the window, polish off the marks, close your curtains, and go for a walk. Have a long hard think about what you're doing while you're at it.