To wonder if I should report parent sitting in car with nursery child.

[wellstopdoingitthen]

I live opposite a primary school. There's a mum who collects her nursery child at 11.30 then sits in the car with her until the older children finish at 3pm. She usually sits there with the engine running which is right next to the playground. I'm not sure if I should do anything or if I'm being a busy body.
I know the little one is in there because I did ask the mum to turn off her engine during the really hot weather. I got an earful because apparently she needed it on because it was hot in the car.
Yabu- keep your nose out
Yanbu- you should notify the school/authorities

With cost of fuel, I doubt she’ll be keeping the engine running for any length of time going forward…

Ask if she’s ok perhaps ?

The child's probably sleeping but I would be so pissed off with her leaving the engine running.

Have you thought to take her out a cup of tea, strike up a conversation, ask if she’s ok? Agree with others could be in abusive relationship - if you’d rather not speak to her perhaps pop in and ask to speak to their FLO

Was the child napping? Sometimes it’s easier to
just sit in the car with them

This was my first concern too.

@user1473878824 its not about whether it’s illegal that’s a safeguarding concern for child and mum.

I’m a DSL. Please contact the school.

it’s not about reporting her. This indicates a family in need. She may have unsafe housing. Be in a relationship where she’s at risk. All sorts of potential issues that don’t bear thinking about. But it’s an indication that she and children need some support.

@MustWeDoThis really, you work with vulnerable people? Have you done any recent Safeguarding training? You mention neglect in your post, do you understand the meaning of the word?

I think you should open your curtains, look around you, understand that it’s often very hard to spot the early signs of abuse, and stop condoning those who are vigilant and notice extraordinary behaviour. Take a look at the tragic story of Daniel Pelka, read the serious case review; early intervention could have saved him.

I will stand by my earlier statement that a child sitting in a car seat for longer than 2 hours in a 24 hour period is neglect. That alone is cause for concern and could cause the child significant spinal problems in adulthood.

Personally I'd go ask if she's alright and wants to come sit inside rather than wait in the car. It can't be comfortable for her or her child. So it's likely she has some terrible circumstances if this is the best she can do right now. She might just need someone to ask her if she's alright.
Or maybe it's the only way her child will nap. Who knows. Maybe she lives really far away and can't afford petrol to go and come back.
I'm concerned for her and her child. But I don't think "reporting" is the right way. There are charities you could get involved if you found out why she's doing this.

Yanbu

Talk to the nursery. If she is then it isn't great.

Not only is it illegal to keep the engine running she is probably harming her child with the exhaust fumes as the air quality can be really bad inside the car.

Very odd. Maybe the toddlers nap coincides with this time so they have a packed lunch in the car or whatever then sleep for a couple of hours until pick up time?

But still very unusual and I would be wondering why..

It's really none of your business. Something is wrong in her life for her to be doing this (maybe she's homeless and has to leave the shelter during the day, or is abused at home, etc. etc.), but maybe you could go out to the car with some treats for the child or a sandwich for mom and engage her in conversation and find out what the problem is, but she probably needs sympathy and help more than being reported for illegal running a car. That would be a heartless thing to do if her circumstances were really dire.

It may be that she's homeless and she and the child LIVE in that car, and she goes somewhere else to park after she picks up the child.

It's not illegal to sit in your car with your engine running, you may be confused with leaving a vehicle unattended with the engine running.

As for the OP I don't understand what you think the issue is or what you would report them for? YABU IMO

@bluesapphire48 all the more reason to speak to the school. Do people really not understand safeguarding of children. It’s not about the car engine it’s about a young child being cooped up in a car every day

Come on she's obviously giving them dinner and then letting them nap. I'd do the same if it fitted my day?! But not with engine on.

Surely that's it?

What about what she's doing is reportable exactly? It's a bit weird and not ideal for either of them, but not official levels of neglect or anything.

Just to notify school so they can check on welfare. In the same way if a child comes to school scruffy you don’t immediately think social services but you check that they are okay

It can be the little pieces of a jigsaw that make the difference

You just don't know. Unless the child has been abandoned, neglected, looks starved, or bruised - Stop spying on them! I work with vulnerable people and I seriously deplore people like yourself who make life so much unnecessarily harder for these parents and waste time. You will put a target on the back of a potentially innocent woman.

This!

Do you have to wait until a child is in an horrific state before anyone takes action. Surely better school can keep an eye on a child if there maybe welfare concerns and if there isn’t anything of concern no issues

I’m all for noticing red flags or dangerous situations, but you are spying on this mother. For all you know, she is giving her little daughter lunch in the car who then naps while mother gets some paperwork/work etc done in the front seat. I’ve seen parents park in the school line for hours before pickup. She’s already there to get younger child so maybe it makes more sense, for reasons you have no idea about, to stay until her older child gets out.

I’ve had to do it on occasion when I was taking classes at a nearby university and my son’s school was very close so it didn’t make sense when I got done to go home and come back. So I did my own homework while waiting. If someone had been watching me, they may have wondered why I sat there for so long. The air conditioning is because it’s very hot outside, very simple. It’s not your business. You didn’t give details such as, is this every single day for two months? It was rude of you to go up to her and tell her to turn off her engine in the heat. Her life is none of your business, she decides how to do things, not you, stop staring out your window keeping tabs on people you don’t even know, perhaps you watch your neighbors as well as the school parents. Very creepy. You’re not in charge of her. You can’t tell her what to do.

Yes this. You want to put a target on this woman because you don’t like her sitting with her child at her school. With the engine running. None of your business.