To wonder if I should report parent sitting in car with nursery child.

[wellstopdoingitthen]

I live opposite a primary school. There's a mum who collects her nursery child at 11.30 then sits in the car with her until the older children finish at 3pm. She usually sits there with the engine running which is right next to the playground. I'm not sure if I should do anything or if I'm being a busy body.
I know the little one is in there because I did ask the mum to turn off her engine during the really hot weather. I got an earful because apparently she needed it on because it was hot in the car.
Yabu- keep your nose out
Yanbu- you should notify the school/authorities

Anyway, surely the nursery and/or school can see the idling car too? If she is parked between you and the school they must be aware already.

@WrongWayApricot it’s always best not to assume someone else knows or has reported it.

Take time stamped photos over several days
and report

The poor child.
I don't know how someone could do that to a toddler. It's cruel.
I would speak to the school as a welfare concern.

What kind of car does she have????

If its a posh one she is obviously doing nothing wrong and its not a cause for concern.

If its a shabby 20 year old car then she must be abusing that kid, you should report her and she should obviously get thrown in jail.

But seriously Halloween is coming up - buy a few sweeties for the kid, go over the the car, explain that you are on of the neighbours and just say you've noticed her car here often for long periods of time and u were wondering if they are okay? Be friendly and dont tell her off for running the engine. If she is sitting in the car cause she is homeless or because of DV she really dosen't need people having a go! If she needs to run her engine in order for her and the kid not to be freezing so be it!

Why don't you talk to her and ask her?
Could she be using the Wi-Fi to do work or catch up on admin while her child naps? Not that I'm condoning it!

A child's welfare is everybody's business.

@luckyRhino That’s what I thought too

@AlwaysLatte she has spoken to her

Very bizarre situation. What about food/going to the toilet.? Speak to your local community police officer and get them to look into it

To have your engine on and idling while you're essentially parked up.

For that, I would consider going to your community police officer asking them to do a walk by at the times you're sure they are there and see if they can help.

In Scotland they go age 3 until school so anything from 1.5yrs to 2.5yrs depending on deferred entry (common for late Dec, Jan and Feb birthdays).

Safeguarding is everyone's business.

If there's nothing to see it won't be found.

If there's something to find it won't be found with silence.

The child and/or the mum could be at risk of harm.

It could just be a family that moved house and they cannot afford the travel back and forth and are waiting or a local school place.

But by staying silent no one will know and you could be ,issuing a chance to help someone who needs it.

Im confused ..what is she doing wrong?
There must be a reason why shes doing it, so instead of reporting her for the crime of sitting in her own car

I agree.

She’s obviously not doing this by choice and reporting her because she’s kept the engine running for the heater because they’re cold is pretty messed up.

It’s very difficult to keep a young child entertained for so long even if they are climbing around.
So it’s highly likely they are going for walks in between and OP can’t know this unless she’s sat at the window for all those hours too.

That would be my issue.
The environmental issue is a big deal for me too, but I don't think there are any channels for this one to pursue.

How you keep a small child sitting in a car for that long regularly is mindblowing.

It is your business. People saying that it's not are entirely wrong. I would contact the school and/or the duty social worker.

I would definitely alert the school initially and see what they do.

Do you take a lunch break during your 3.5 hr vigil.

My nursery age daughter naps form
about 12.00 until 2.30. I wonder if the child is a poor napper and she maybe drives around to get them to sleep and parks up once they’ve nodded off. Maybe she keeps the engine running so the won’t wake up and she gets a bit of time to herself?

Im not condoning it in any way, it’s far too long to be in a car seat or cooped up in car. Definitely not ok to keep the engine running either but it might offer and explanation.

I don’t thing you’re being unreasonable to be concerned but I probably wouldn’t report it to anyone. Being a mum is hard and maybe she’s just doing what she needs to
do to get by

She must be using a lot of petrol to have the car on all that time.

I'm pretty sure you don't have to be on a vigil to notice a car there
I work facing a window. If I look up, I can see what's happening outside
Plus when a car is idling, you can hear it

@RGinaPhalange and maybe the school can signpost her to some support to make her life a little better.

If she was running her car on idle for four hours a day I’m surprised it’s still working.

@WrongWayApricot it's not good though! Ideally children of early years age shouldn't be in cars/car seats/prams for hours on end as it impacts on their gross and fine motor development.
It's one of the things we used to look out for on home visits. Babies and toddlers constantly strapped in and not able to move freely. 3.5 hours is a pretty long time. 1 hour is quite long to be stationary for no purpose every day for a baby. Different if it's a journey but to just be sat there idling the car.

I would definitely report. Things may seem trivial but you don't know the full picture for this little one

If it was me and I lived opposite, I'd invite her in for a cup of tea. Toddler could have a drink and watch Cbeebies.
I'd let her talk if she wanted to and figure out if there was a way I could help her.

I'm not saying OP should do that, and there is always the risk of the woman taking advantage, but that's what I would do.