To wonder if I should report parent sitting in car with nursery child.

[wellstopdoingitthen]

I live opposite a primary school. There's a mum who collects her nursery child at 11.30 then sits in the car with her until the older children finish at 3pm. She usually sits there with the engine running which is right next to the playground. I'm not sure if I should do anything or if I'm being a busy body.
I know the little one is in there because I did ask the mum to turn off her engine during the really hot weather. I got an earful because apparently she needed it on because it was hot in the car.
Yabu- keep your nose out
Yanbu- you should notify the school/authorities

I would notice if this were outside my house. It would not take constant unremitting surveillance from me to conclude that it was happening as the OP describes.

It would first intrigue me, then annoy me then concern me.

I find this very relatable with a preschool-aged DD and primary aged DD. In fact I have a similar issue this afternoon with a 2pm preschool collection around the corner from the school where DD1 finishes at 4:30. If DD2 did fall asleep (unlikely without a couple of miles’ journey to lull her off) I may consider waiting outside the school in the car, there’s a certain bliss to a bit of time carved during child-wrangling hours to legitimately catch up with work emails, listen to podcasts and glaze over to social media in peace. I’d not keep the engine on though.

But apart from the unlikelihood of her falling asleep and remaining asleep all that time, I couldn’t countenance this as a regular solution in our schedule. luckily we only have this timing situation twice a week and it’s temporary while my DM is too unwell to collect DD2 from preschool and mind her while I work until I collect both DDs from 4:30 onward. And I’m actually more likely to use the time to run errands or to go home and plonk her in front of Bluey while I get some tasks done.

The thought of sitting in the car outside school like this day after day for 3.5 hours just feels like a huge waste of time and money. While I conduct a lot of my business from my phone, I couldn’t fill 3.5 hours productively, although I recognise that some could. Podcasts and dicking about online would get a bit dull every single day. I think that preschoolers who consistently have a daily 3.5 hour nap are in the minority and hours of snacks and screen time in the back of a car aren’t the most joyful way to fill their time with such daily regularity. So it may indicate that this is the only option she can bear and the alternative is really awful.

I think on balance I’d bring it up with the school in case she is using is as an escape from an awful alternative, and hopefully in the event she isn’t, she might take it as a nudge to stop wasting fuel and polluting the air outside a school and go and do something else

I’d email the school

Shes sitting in a car for 3.5 hours with the engine running? Is she made of money??

she has and got a “mind your own”

She has!

Illegal to leave a car engine running when stationary

If it was me I'd go out and talk to the woman. I wouldn't necessarily be confrontational - I'd want to suss out the situation. - look at her and her child and understand why she needs to be outside my house with the engine running everyday like this. I know that the engine running for 3 hours would bother me - I would have to go over.

If you speak to her again can you ask her how she keeps a toddler amused in an idling car for nearly 4 hours as I've always struggled to keep a restless toddler amused for 5 minutes 😄

@Inkanta she has already spoken to her

To have the noise of an engine running outside for 3.5 hours would drive me mad. Quite apart from the illegality. Also concern for a nursery school child sitting in the car every day for this long? Safeguard concern?

I'm amazed how many people's gut reaction to children's welfare issues is still ''mind your own business''.

After all the high profile cases of neglect and abuse over the last few years where it became apparent that lots of people who could possibly have helped turned a blind eye.

Why is it better to do nothing/say nothing unless it's the very worst scenario you can personally imagine?

A little kid being made to sit in a car parked up for three and a half hours 5 days a week - and loads of posters here are falling over themselves to find good excuses for it

Yes, I would report it. I can’t get my head around any rationale for why you wouldn’t. The child’s welfare.
The mum’s welfare.
The pollution/environment.
The law.

I would report that as a concern to the Safeguarding team at the school and leave it in their experienced hands.
It does seem odd, yes, and if there is a sibling in school it's reasonable to check if everything is ok at home.
As always, it may form a bigger picture if there are minor concerns elsewhere.

Maybe the child falls asleep after a tiring morning at nursery and is taking a long nap? Is the child trying to get out/looking distressed?

Keeping a pre-school aged child in a car, for 3.5 hours, limited space, limited toys/stimulation and possibly sleeping in a car seat, and many don’t agree this is a cause for concern?

At the very least, the two-hour rule for car seats still applies - that alone is potentially neglectful and could have lasting consequences for the child’s spine.

It may be convenient for the parent, but what about the child? Is this the best environment for their development?

OP, I’d make a call to the nursery and report your concerns. I do not understand why the child is not taken to a park to run around, a local library etc. As for the engine idling, for environmental reasons this is unacceptable and very selfish.

l would be torn . There are many reasons why she could be there as speculated by others so l wouldn’t want to make her life more difficult, but my overwhelming feeling would be to mention it to the school as it would play on my mind otherwise.

@Laiste I completely agree - so many high profile cases of neglect and still many are coming out telling others to mind their own business. Shameful.

This!

… and really not good to have the fumes going around a playground 3 hours every day.

Having said that… she may not be burning fuel if she can afford to leave the engine running for 3 hours every day!

Maybe it’s a private nursery? Mine went from 10 months until school nursery at 3.

I wonder if all those saying report have read or done safeguarding training and those saying MYOB haven’t.

This!

leaving a child in a small space for 3.5 hours, possibly in a car seat is just crazy and neglectful. She could easily find a local park to take the child for a some fresh air before school pick up, put the child in a pushchair and go for a walk?

when my dd started a SEN nursery I used to sit in my car whilst she was there as it was a hours drive home and another hour back, I used to get bored despite taking a book and food with me, it must be awful for a child to be sat in a car for they long, it’s unlikely they have a 3.5 hour nap.

?

Yes report it.

Yeah sure this really happened