To wonder if I should report parent sitting in car with nursery child.

[wellstopdoingitthen]

I live opposite a primary school. There's a mum who collects her nursery child at 11.30 then sits in the car with her until the older children finish at 3pm. She usually sits there with the engine running which is right next to the playground. I'm not sure if I should do anything or if I'm being a busy body.
I know the little one is in there because I did ask the mum to turn off her engine during the really hot weather. I got an earful because apparently she needed it on because it was hot in the car.
Yabu- keep your nose out
Yanbu- you should notify the school/authorities

Im confused ..what is she doing wrong?
There must be a reason why shes doing it, so instead of reporting her for the crime of sitting in her own car
Why dont you go and ask her whats going on?

Don’t you think it’s that if they go home the child falls asleep on the way, has to be woken/won’t resettle, is miserable, then bundled back in car for pick up. Maybe they have lunch, kid sleeps comfortably on back seat for a couple of hours, then an hour of activities in the car before pick up. The idling is bad, but am sure there are practical issues around the childcare it solves. We are all trying to manage the practicalities when kids are small - and that year when there’s one in nursery and another in school is tough on parents.

Either this, a long commute, or avoiding someone at home were my first thoughts but surely if it's hot enough in the car to need air con, it's nice enough to go to a local park?

What do you expect the school to do about it?

It’s really unhealthy for the child to be sat in a car that long every day not to mention not great for there development. Normally I would say don’t get involved but given it’s every day I would be concerned that the mum had reasons she didn’t want to or couldn’t go home and that the child was being adversely affected but this so probably would phone the school.

I couldn't read that and not do the maths of what this is costing (I think petrol is about £1.60 or so). Fuel consumption while idiling is 0.6 litres per litre of car per hour

If its a 1.2l car then it would be 1.15 per hour. 4.03 for 3.5 hours and 20.15 for that for 5 days

1.6l car, 1.54 p/h, 5.39 for 3.5 hours and 26.95 for 5 days

2l car, 1.92 p/h, 6.72 for 3.5 hours and 33.60 for 5 days

Are you serious? The OP got an earful for asking that she turn her engine off so you're suggesting she now invites her in for tea and cake! Peak mumsnet!!!

Noticing that someone is outside your house for 3 hours, as you well know, does not require someone to sit and stare at their window consistently. But you know this.

Huge red flag and welfare concern OP. Report it to the nursery where the younger one goes immediately as they will know the full details of mum and child and will be able to make a SS referral. At the very least, it’s horrendous to keep a child in the car that long on a daily basis and awful for the poor thing, at worst or could be that mum doesn’t feel safe going home or doesn’t want to go home due to circumstances, all of these things need to be looked into. Thank goodness for “busy bodies” like you otherwise these things may never get spotted. Those saying it’s none of your business are the types of people that turn away to wrongdoing just because it’s more comfortable to them to not act. Child welfare is ALL of our concerns.
And for those of you saying this thread is hard to believe, I mean come on for goodness sake, what a ridiculous thing for someone to make up, wake up and realise that these things do actually happen even in your perfect world.

i would tell the school

I would report from the engine idling POV and say you are a neighbour and it’s a nuisance. Say in the email it’s a mother and nursery aged child. I’m sure the school will follow up on the rest re safeguarding.

Lol…this never happened.

Round my way people go crazy to get a parking spot close to the schools and turn up super early so I could actually believe someone would be extreme enough to sit there for that long (grateful that I’m able to walk). Every so often a note is sent out to remind parents not to park across drives, not to be too early and generally not be a nuisance to the neighbours. Maybe it’s worth dropping an email to the school. They’d also be able to make a judgement call on the safeguarding side.

Otherwise I think you just need to let it go and notch it up as part and parcel of living near a school.

And FWIW I’d totally notice someone parked outside my house everyday… I know this as a neighbour’s DM parks her car outside mine mon-Fri 9-5. (I have no idea why she doesn’t park by their house).

How colud you not know if someone sat outside your house for hours everyday with the engine running?

Unless you were both blind and deaf and never went outside I can't imagine how you'd miss it tbh

Illegal and pumping out fumes into a primary school playground for 4 hours. Also noise pollution. Beyond that the school surely should have some concern for the smaller child sitting in a car all day

I've read that emissions not only affect the outside of the car, but they concentrate inside the car. Idling is therefore probably worst for the car's occupants.
I find this situation very alarming. I'd say there could easily be a backstory to this, because it sounds like my idea of hell to be cooped up in a car with a small child for so long. If that's preferable to any alternative, then I'd be concerned.

Absolutely this

I just struggle to believe this is true. 3.5 hours a day in a very confined space with a toddler? Plus unnecessarily running your engine and wasting petrol for the same length of time?

Mine did 5 terms in school nursery. They started in January after they turned 3 and started school in the September before they turned 5 in November. This meant they had 2 summers in nursery so yes it is possible.

Running the engine is illegal, that you should report for environmental reasons. The child being in the car is a concern but probably not sufficient to trigger a response. I'm guessing there is a reason such as marriage breakdown means she's moved away, or the child has sn and it's the only place they will sleep (my dd slept in an old car seat in the house out of choice as a toddler!)

The child may have a nap after lunch which interfere ms with pick up
she’s prob taking a lunch for her dc then letting them nap

When posters are asking about why and who you would report it to, people aren’t suggesting you report to the police. They are suggesting you speak to the safeguarding lead at the school as a welfare concern. Not to get the parent into trouble but just to see if there is anything that needs to be done or help offered. Safeguarding is everyone’s concern.

Presuming she’s not within walking distance, by the time she gets toddler home and has lunch then puts it down for a nap, it’s 1pm. And then she needs to leave to pick up at 2.30 and toddler is still asleep…..so she’s probably decided to have lunch and nap in the car instead.

I would report it to the school as a safeguarding concern. The child might be napping or mum might be avoiding a worse situation at home. School will be able to discreetly check.

I assume the poster does not know that "video" is a general word for anything you can see/watch and is thinking of VHS cassettes.