How to cope with my parent’s political views?

[Blacktigerstripes]

I’m staying with my parents at the moment, in their early sixties.
How do you cope with differing political and cultural views?

I’m getting so angry the more conversations we have.

My DM doesn’t agree with gay marriage…she also has a totally differing political viewpoint to me and my DP.
I’m finding myself getting more and more angry.

Has anyone else had this issue?

My dad loves Donald Trump and thinks women belong to the kitchen, I’ll leave it there. I reserve my precious energy for more important contributions to the universe than fighting my dinosaur of a father. He was raised in a different time and had a very different life experience than me. We talk about other things. Let the dogs lie. I’m not going to change him.

Well yes.
We only got abortion rights 4 years ago in Ireland.
It wasn't a handmaid's tale hellhole for half the population - it just wasn't. Most women will never need an abortion. I'm glad it's better now but we weren't walking around barefoot and pregnant in 2018, with zero options, crying and cringing at the foot of the altar. It was unnecessarily difficult but not impossible. Again, I'm happy we have the right to choose.

But the prolife crowd have a point, when you listen to what the actual thoughtful ones say, not the caricatures. It's perfectly legitimate to think life is the most fundamental right of all and trumps all others.

We are going to see an awful.lot more of these ethical dilemmas. With an aging population we're going to talk of euthanasia. We're going to see ethical dilemmas in reproductive technology. We're going to see more about tech surrogates for things like peadophilia.

There's a lot more ethical dilemmas where that one came from, and yes, we're all going to be entitled to our opinion

Tea no, no idea what you're talking about. Who are these "certain people "?

And did I mention gay marriage in that post?

DH's parents (early 80's) hold very different political views to their children. Conversations about politics are avoided, although his Dad will say the odd thing to DH when they're alone...and DH finds a way to change the subject.

They're in the final years and it's not worth making a huge issue out of it.

Have I missed something? Which political party wants to lock gay people up?

Anyway, I can imagine my 24 year old daughter spouting shite like the OP because, shock horror, I support JKRowling. I have to calmly accept my daughter's wish to throw women's sex based rights under a bus, but she gets to shout at me, flounce and declare GC women are "vile" - believing that makes her morally superior. Some posters would agree with my daughter others would agree with me. I'm happy to remain civil, my daughter is not.

Just be civil OP. It's the grown up thing to do.

Grow up?😂

OP, to distract yourself, why don't you spend some time reading up on the correct use of the apostrophe?

You have a couple of choices, OP. Tell them which views you find unacceptable and debate with them in the hope you can convert them to your way of thinking - which may or may not work.

Avoid political conversations entirely (what DH's family does).

The first approach might seem logical in some ways, but it could end in a massive bust up unless everyone is capable of keeping their cool and debating -and it sounds as if you're already angry, so you might not be able to. Then what?

Its acceptable to be racist?
Could you just describe for me an example of how this acceptable racism would manifest itself?

What things do you also feel is not acceptable in your own home?

@Artygirlghost I suggest you find out about the history of trade unions in Britain. Some of the issues covering xenophobia and sexism aren't that historic.

Have at it in your own home… not one person here (still reading the thread) has said you shouldn’t express your opinions in your home.

Agreed, Sadly it’s aspirational to some.

Your post is a really good example of why the idea that some views are just unacceptable is so terrible.

You seem to have an extremely one-sided and superficial understanding of some of these controversies.

Many people, including people who are themselves gay, have historically felt that marriage existed mainly as a way to manage the differences in reproductive role with males and females. So to some extent, the framing becomes, it is it ok to have social institutions that recognize biological sex.

That's not stupid or bigoted, it's a serious viewpoint and deciding that we can't has legal repercussions that need to be considered.

The argument around abortion has multiple components. One is about teh woman's relation to her body. The other is about when a human life becomes protected under the law, and when it gains the rights of personhood. And notably, that question is not dependent on the former - that's basic to philosophical thinking around rights issues.

So again, not a simple question, one where either answer seems to open cans of worms, one where there are significant ethical issues at stake on both sides.

The kind of ignorance that says these are obvious questions, which I am sorry to say is often found on the progressive left, especially among the young, is very much related to the assumption that certain ideas are beyond the pale and not worth discussing.

My in laws and I disagree on MANY topics so we just don't discuss them. If they deliberately brings up certain topics to wind me up, I give stupid answers to their stupid questions.

You are going beyond liberalism here.
The beauty of liberalism is that its the best form we have invented yet which reduces oppression in all its forms.
So people are allowed believe what they like, and you are allowed to challenge them. Think of the bloodshed of the reformation. They realised its not wise to put windows into mens souls. The hope is the best idea wins and it seems to have worked out OK over the last couple of centuries.
But there is a baseline,the idea of human rights, another fruit of liberalism. So no matter what opinions any person or groups hold, its very very difficult to cross that line. It's a balance. It'll never be perfect because humans aren't.

It is OK to hold opinions,even abhorrent ones, even incorrect ones.
The alternative is that a powerful set of people tell you what you must or must not believe. That's like medieval Catholicism. It's anti liberal. It's anti improvement. It invites other ways to undermine liberalism like human rights.
How will gays, women, children, ethnic minorities, poor people fare when that concept is gone?

This is not utopia, thesoul of mankind will never be pure. Harm reduction.

I mean some views are unacceptable. There are some pretty extreme views that cannot be voiced in society without some sort of consequence, and that’s not a bad thing when it comes to some extreme views.

Key words there are “in society “. Do you think that society rules should apply in one’s private home? What things specifically do you think people shouldn’t be allowed to think or say in their home?

Well it depends on who is around.

If you are at home with your nearest and dearest and you know they agree with you or won’t be offended then that’s one thing. You didn’t clarify in your first paragraph you meant in someone’s private home, I thought you just meant in general

Isn’t that what we’re talking about someone bitching about the views their parents are expressing in the parent’s own home?

Yes, absolutely. 100%.

Free speech matters profoundly in a free society. ’I disagree with what you say, but I defend your right to say it.’