AIBU to know who is taking DS to Alton Towers?

[MrsBeaumaris]

DS has been invited to go to Alton Towers with a friend from school to celebrate their birthday. Two other boys are going, and the birthday boy’s dad is taking them. DS is nearly 16, and I don’t know the boys who are going on this trip, or the father who’s doing the driving.

AIBU to want the mobile number of the father so I can message him with my details in case there’s a problem?

I wouldn’t want to take 3 boys I don’t know on a four hour round trip to Alton Towers without having their parents’ contact details but DS thinks I’m being embarrassing and over-protective. I was surprised that one of my friends, who’s pretty sound with grown up sons, has the same opinion, which is why I’d appreciate knowing what you all think.

Jesus Christ, of course YABU

He is 16 ffs

Even if he was 13 you’d be overprotective, at 16 you’re officially in the waaaayy ott camp

As long as your son has a mobile phone so can contact you in an emergency I wouldn’t be worried x

He's 16. He has his own phone. It'll be fine

At 16, he'll be fine. He has a phone? Let him get on and enjoy his day.

You've got to let go of the apron strings or he'll never learn to be independent.

If he was 6 you would have a point! But at 16 he should be more than capable of communicating, give him a power bank so he can charge his phone

My DH took our 14 year old plus 3 friends recently to Alton towers. All parents were sent both our numbers and we had theirs. DH let them know when they arrived and when they were leaving.

Doesn’t your ds have his own phone is he’s nearly 16? Why would you need to speak to anyones parents, you can just call him if you needed him.

Does he not have his own phone?
Are there other reasons why you're worried- has he got additional needs?
I honestly wouldn't have given it a seconds thought with my 2 who are now late teens.

He's 16! Dear god.

My 17 year old drove himself and his girlfriend to alton towers recently..it's over an hour from where we live.
If they're not given independence how will they cope at 18 when they go to university?

I wouldn't have asked Dd, she had her own phone.

You need to let go. That would be so embarrassing for your son

Urk - DD (17 then) went away with a friend and her family for a week this summer and I didn't have the parents number! At almost 16, year 11 presumably, he must have his own phone?

All I would do is make sure he knows your number off by heart in case his phone has an issue. Mine both know my and their dads numbers and have done for years.

Seriously? I think I live in a parallel universe sometimes... I have a 13 year old and there's no way I would let her go off on a day trip that far away without knowing who she's going with and having the parent's number! If that makes me "overprotective" then so be it (although I don't think it does, I think it makes me responsible 😕)

I don't think mobile phones work at Alton Towers...no signal.

For most parents when they hit secondary is when you no longer do the whole exchanging numbers thing.

Id find it very odd if a parent of my 12 year old asked for my number, let alone gave me theirs. Most kids that age have their own phone so it’s redundant.

He has his own phone, and I wouldn’t have a problem with him going to Alton Towers only with his friends. It just feels odd to send him off with the father of one of them, and no contact details for him.

It’s the first time this situation has come up, and my reaction was of course you can go, I just need the dad’s mobile number. But it seems that most of you agree with my friend and DS, so I’m clearly BU!

This is even more strange

you’d be fine with just the teens going and not having their numbers, but less fine as there is an adult with them?

My DD does have a phone, but if it dies, or she runs out of credit (which happens because she's a pain and watches YouTube when roaming ..) the then how would I get hold of them if they were late home, or there was an issue?

I genuinely don't know any parent in my circle who would be ok with their 12 year old going off for the day and not knowing who they were going with or at least having that parent's number... My parents were as lax as they came, but even they wouldn't have let us do that as 12 year olds either!

The dad would be responsible for his son’s friends - they’re under 16, after all - which is why I thought it makes sense for him to have my details in case there’s a problem.

I mean it’s not as if I’m demanding to see the dad’s car insurance details and CRB check!

noooooo, please let your DS have some independence. I thought you were going to say he was 6!

You're normal OP.
Alton towers had a horrifying incident a couple of years ago. You're simply wanting contact details not to attend👀. Any responsible adult should know how to locate their 16 year old. Does anyone here recall being 16? It's normal to break boundaries and lie / embellish to parents! Fyi: if you think your 16 year old children think you're 'cool' because you don't 'pry' you're deluded *😂
*Caveat there naturally will be outliers

In my line of work (which admittedly is in the extreme) you should at the very least have contact details.

I hear you. It's not like you're asking for their employment history and shoe size. Everyone on here is oh so cool tho so they don't give a shit who's driving their kids about

That’s exactly it - I’ve no intention of messaging the dad for regular updates or being a nuisance or embarrassment, I just want to know that he can get hold of me if something happens. And that I can get hold of him if they’re not back by 10.30 and DS’s phone is dead.