AIBU to know who is taking DS to Alton Towers?

[MrsBeaumaris]

DS has been invited to go to Alton Towers with a friend from school to celebrate their birthday. Two other boys are going, and the birthday boy’s dad is taking them. DS is nearly 16, and I don’t know the boys who are going on this trip, or the father who’s doing the driving.

AIBU to want the mobile number of the father so I can message him with my details in case there’s a problem?

I wouldn’t want to take 3 boys I don’t know on a four hour round trip to Alton Towers without having their parents’ contact details but DS thinks I’m being embarrassing and over-protective. I was surprised that one of my friends, who’s pretty sound with grown up sons, has the same opinion, which is why I’d appreciate knowing what you all think.

Why would I go to the trouble of hunting him down on FB, when DS can just ask his friend to give me his dad’s number?

Which he has done, and I’ve messaged him as @ForestofD suggested. He’s replied to say thanks and that he’ll drop DS back at ours.

Not a big deal. Maybe he thinks I’m ridiculous and over-protective, or I’m just being sensible. But I’ve done what I think is the right thing as DS’s mother, and DS himself is comfortable with it, which is as important.

As a parent I wouldn't want to take a bunch of kids anywhere with the contact details of their parents.

He’s 15, not 16.

And it’s not raising him to be a helpless idiot to know the name and number of the dad who will be driving him to and from Alton Towers.

Absolutely this

It's called being a responsible and sensible parent!
I'm amazed at the people on here who are criticising you for asking for a mobile phone number as an extra security buffer. In my line of work it would be a basic requirement on the risk assessment to have an emergency contact number. If people can't imagine the myriad reasons why you might need it then they're seriously lacking in imagination!
You shouldn't have asked on here, op!

OP while you can clearly see this thread has divided opinion (!) there are certainly enough posters on here agreeing with you to let you know that while not everyone would see the need, many of us would not be comfortable sending our 15 year old off without some basic means of communication with the other parent.
It's not like you're asking for photo updates.
I have a 15 year old ds and would feel exactly the same as you.

In my line of work it would be a basic requirement on the risk assessment to have an emergency contact number.

In my line of work you get lunch at 1pm, in the real world you can eat lunch whenever you want. Comparing work to life is like comparing apples and oranges.

I remember when I was 15, my older friend had just passed her driving test and in the morning we all just decided to bunk school at go alton towers. My mum didn't know about that until I was in my late 20s 🤣 honestly, just let him go. He's got his own phone and at that age they should be going around by themselves anyway. I know we did school trips there at 13 and they let us split off in groups and go by ourselves?

We would be "that parent" too. It's only a phone number. Should an issue arise, either parent could contact the other. I am slightly biased as my both my kids have additional needs but even aside from that, it seems like common sense to me. I wouldn't use it unless there was an issue but it means peace of mind, that I can if I have to.

I wouldn't be checking up on them throughout the day.

I'm sorry but that's way too far in the opposite direction for me! No way would I be allowing an 11 year old travel independently from London to Blackpool.

There's raising independent confident kids and then there's being irresponsible. That's just plain irresponsible.

Ive done this- then sent a message just saying 'Hi, it's * Mum, this is my number should you need it on the trip to . Many thanks for taking them.'

Absolutely the right thing to do
Here's my number should you need it

Out of interest , what is likely to happen to a 5”5 secondary school aged child in a first class cabin on a virgin train? No changes , grandpa meeting from the station? I mean , I think risk wise walking to school in the morning or home in the evening for 40 mins or having to get on a bus with all the wronguns from the local estate this time of year is greater and they pretty much all do that at 11. At least all the kids have phones these days . We never did .

Sorry that reply should have tagged @OnTheRunWithMannyMontana

The Dad could do with your number perhaps, so if anything happens to your Son he can contact you. But I'd just get that passed on via your Son.

You don't need the Dad's number. If anything happens to you, and for whatever reason you wouldn't be home when they return etc etc, then you can phone your Son. He's 16 anyway, so I'm sure he could let himself in the house by himself or whatever.

And I'm still not sure there's enough reason for the Dad to have your number.

If this was the other way round and I was taking a bunch of teenagers to a theme park, I would text the parents in advance just to introduce myself and do they have a contact number. Just common courtesy

@GloriousGlory i guess you can’t read and understand…….. HE’S 15. Not 16!! So still a minor

my 5 year old goes in the greengrocers alone , with cash to pick what he wants while I wait outside because I refuse to raise helpless idiots

Are you concentrating on raising unpleasant boors?

I don't know why everyone is finding the request so alien. I think it's perfectly normal for parents to exchange numbers when taking each others kids out for a long day trip.
We all know teens can be unreliable and use up all their credit or forget to charge their phones and if anything did happen it would be much easier to contact a parent if you have their number saved.
Depending on where you're travelling from Alton towers can be a very long car journey away involving lots of traffic, I'd definitely want an adults number as well as my child's.

😂