In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

How very dare you ! 😂

It could be either. Probably more men over the years, since teams might be 7 men 3 women split.

The OP team of gossipers would never have lasted under my management.

I reckon there might be other rather more straight forward reasons those terms are used more often about women than they are about men.

This reminds me of years ago arriving at my work's under ground London garage in our very very old banger with my 3 children of 1, 3,5 in it and pulling up next to me was another lawyer, my age, female, dresses very well pulling up in her open top sports car. I walked out of that garage feeling I had so much more than she did - messy children in second hand clothes with a cold too who were coming on a rare once a year trip to see my office. That was the gold and treasure that I had - the children not the posh car.

What a nasty post. Why does one person have to be superior than another?

beicause you have children you have more than her???

You clearly have a reading comprehension issue.

Xenia felt she had more than her because she could pull up in her car with her children and being a mess.

The other female lawyer may have had a child/children, or whatever but the point is confidence in what you have.

Still doesn’t make sense.

Dressing well doesn’t mean you don’t have confidence in what you have.

Being a mess doesn’t mean you have more confidence in what you have.

and having kids doesn’t mean you have ‘more’ or something better.

@Ekátn Xenia felt confident in her own skin.

The other lawyer likely felt confident in her skin.

However we only have Xenia's point of view and we only know about the things Xenia had.

The issue with the thread is the OP and apparently her colleagues don't feel confident against someone dressed in designer gear. It hasn't clicked with them that they may have things that their designer gear dressed manager would envy them for like their relationships.

I think your comprehension is the one lacking.

Xenias post was, in fact, an unpleasant post. That post. Not referencing the whole thread. Just that post. Where Xenia clearly stated in her last sentence that she felt she had ‘more’ because she had the ‘treasure’. Not the woman with a sports car.

And the whole concept of ‘maybe you have something she is jealous of’ to try and make yourself feel better, is counterproductive. If you look at other people and have to weigh up wether you have more or are ‘better’ based on what they are wearing or if they have kids, or their car then problem is you. Trying to pretend you have more or something better is just weird.

Xenia obviously didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin because she was playing ‘hmm what do I have that she doesn’t appear to? Ah kids. That means I have more. There I feel better’. People confident in their own skin, don’t do that.

I can assure I have no issues with reading or comprehension.

my point was no one should sneer at another because they believe their choices or lifestyle is superior. we all take different paths and different priorities.

I'm sorry but you are skating on really thin ice here, this lady can wear whatever designer clothing, watches, nails and hair style she wants to work. As long as she is within the companies dress code, she is doing absolutely nothing wrong.

You and your colleagues sound like a shower of jealous, bitter, bullies.

She has obviously worked very hard to be able to command a six figure salary, as a young woman.

Imagine how she must feel, coming to work every day to your obvious contempt.

Do you think she's incompetent, can't do her job?? If not then suck it up buttercup.

If I were her I would be the one going to HR to complain about the bullying way she is being treated.

You said is much better than I could 😊. Thank you.

why do women have to judge other women and decide who the winner is? And because I call it out I am accused of being a bit dim!

I read Xenia's post as Xenia having confidence in herself by not downplaying her achievements in her mind not that she was thinking less of the other female lawyer.
Which as women we can tend to do so, underplay our achievements/worth/value

Well I don't anymore.
We are all important.

The OPs office sounds horrendous & I would hate to be that teams manager.

I clearly did not mean to quote redwings here!! I meant to quote the very wise comments made by Ekátn.

the lady is the scruffy car with the lovely kids is not better or worse than the lady is the nice clothes and sports car. They are different.

there is no need for scruffy lady to smugly say well at least I have kids. In the same Way there is no need for nice lady to say well I look richer. It’s not a competition. Nice car lady didn’t do anything to provide to smug response from messy car lady.

I think your common sense is the one lacking🙄

She got the high paid job because she was qualified enough and able to do the job. Thats life im afraid

Good Lord this cant be serious? Only wear shit clothes to work because it makes us all sad

Y (and your entire team) a b u.

Sure, it's a bit ostentatious but she earns a good salary and can buy what she wants. You should all talk to your employer and ask for a pay rise.

Or call a meeting with her and bring it up. Let me know how that turns out.

I get where you're coming from, OP.

I don't know if HR would be able to do anything about it, sadly, but I reckon I'd keep reminding myself that money doesn't buy class, manners, sensitivity or self-awareness. She's clearly lacking in all of these. She also might be very insecure and shallow if she believes that wearing flashy labels will impress others.

Hilarious that you are thinking of raising it to HR.

I work In HR and the whole team would be giggling about this all day if this happened

I completely agree with you @Stripedbag101

How judgemental!

You sound as jealous as OP!

What she wears and the cost of it is NOTHING to do with you.

You have no idea of her private finances (and nor should you).

What exactly would you say to HR - 'A lady in the office comes in wearing a rolex, a very expensive belt and is wearing branded clothes, we as a team feel uncomfortable so can you please make it stop and tell her to shop in Primark from now on but, she can wear her 'normal' clothes in her spare time)!

How is this post still going???

Only 50 more posts till it's full
🙏

You'll still get posts responding to the OP right up until the end 😄