In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

Surely you’re joking? HR will just laugh you out of their office. She’s doing nothing wrong!!

OP would lose her shit at my company where there are plenty of Partners earning in excess of 900k! In fact I parked next to an Aston Martin Vantage the other week.

You're looking in the wrong place - negotiate your salary, look for another job, don't blame it on a young woman with somewhat gauche tastes in clothes and accessories.

My boss is the same. He’s out there swanning round in his expensive car with his Rolex watch, telling us his lunch with the big boss cost £300. He doesn’t graft for his money and he’s not a nice colleague. But we don’t go to HR - we just roll our eyes and let him get on with it. We know that ultimately we can leave if we get sick of him, which is the same option you have.

If you’re so overworked I’m surprised you’ve got time to worry about this shit to be honest. I barely notice what my colleagues wear, including those who earn much more than me. Who cares?

She likes designer stuff and can afford it. If she wears cartier bracelets daily then it's just the norm for her. If I had one I'd be pulling it out on special occasions only. Yabu!

This is silly, I work in an industry where we’re all paid exactly the same.

We still all have differing levels of household income, depending on whether we’re the main or sole earner, or have someone at home bringing in a higher income.

We then all have different levels of disposable income depending on whether we’ve got kids, are child free, pay childcare, live in the city, live out of the city, etc.

Having said that, there is a disparity of wealth in this country, if you’re bothered about it, get involved politically.

I think everyone read your post ok- I earn a very good salary for my job- apart from a designer home bag and going to nice places- you wouldn’t think it! (And you would only know about the places I go to, if I told you).

But I have colleagues, who are on a third of what I earn, dressing and acting exactly how you have described in your post.

Honestly how someone else dresses, is really none of yours or others business! Just feel lucky you have a job and you are happy. If you are not happy with your pay- make a stand, contact your union and make a stand together with your other colleagues!

You are being unreasonable. What she earns/ wears/ owns is nothing to do with any of you. You dont even say anything about whether she good at her job!!!!

Jealousy is a very unattractive trait.

BTW, rich people don't buy expensive bags etc. They get designer clothes free as it might influence wannabes to buy them.

Pity her wasting money on expensive bags etc, she's a wannabe 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Really surprised by the responses here - I don’t think OP sounds petty or jealous, I think it’s reasonable to find it a bit horrible, as it would be if a man was poncing round dripping in stuff that advertised wealth etc. I definitely don’t work in this sort of environment but I have been a senior manager in health/care where I am regularly meeting with front line staff who are grossly underpaid and really struggling for money and I was a bit conscious of not rubbing it in (even tho I was hardly loaded and balls deep in debt myself). Personalising it to this woman is probably unfair but it’s fair enough to find it a bit gross as it shows a lack of emotional intelligence and leadership from her. Absolutely pointless going to HR or anything like that, she’s entitled to wear what she wants and that’s not up for debate. It just sounds like a grim company culture and if you are struggling to respect your boss for something like this then I would start looking elsewhere.

Is she just wearing the stuff or is she actively showing off about it?

It sounds awful op if you’re going through all this but I don’t think it’s going to help to do anything about it.

Basically a lot of wealthy people are responding to this thread op. 😂

When I worked in certain jobs I would dress down. So I get it.

I think you're being absolutely ridiculous OP! Can't believe this a genuine post. You need to get a life - HR are going to laugh in your face! (& this is why I don't miss working in an office full of women 🙄)

I dont think I seen one person agreeing with you in the comments. Sounds to me like you work in an office full of toxic negative people who are all happy to bitch about someone because they've had the cheek to do well in life. Time for a re-think!

You sound entitled. How do you know that she's not feeling the pinch? Just because she has nice things doesn't mean she's rolling in the cash. She may save her arse off for these things, as a lot of us have to! HR are going to see you all as office bullies. Grow up!

YABVU. Going to HR over someone wearing designer things bc times are hard and you can’t afford it is very Orwellian. What’s the outcome you hope to achieve; that HR force her what to wear and stop her getting her nails done? That won’t happen - and if a company were allowed to dictate to staff like that, it’s a risky little game and slides into ‘1984’ territory.

I got an expensive designer bag for a big birthday a few years ago, should I not take that to work bc we’re in a financial crisis? You know her salary range but you don’t know what she actually got, offers are made and accepted behind the scenes. There’s a lot you won’t know about her, nor should you. What if her mortgage is massive? What if she’s got huge loans and credit card debt?

You’re putting all the blame on her bc your company undervalues its staff and that’s not her fault, nor is it her responsibility. Yes, times are hard, but you don’t know when or where she bought these things - they could have been inherited, second hand, or gifts bought for her over the years. One of my friends is obsessed with a few designer brands, and used to get one every other Christmas or so. She’s a teacher and we all know they’re not on much. Indicators of wealth aren’t necessarily always accurate and even if they are, I’m sorry but people have the right to spend their money how they choose.

You can’t dictate how others spend their money and, regardless of whether you think it’s right or wrong to wear designer items to clothes to work in a financial crisis, it’s not. It’s certainly not an HR issue. Put the blame
where it belongs; you’re underpaid and overworked and that’s not her fault.

How do you know they're not fakes off a Turkish Market? They call them "genuine fakes". My son got a designer Boss watch for a tenner, Air Jordans for £20 - you can't even tell

I find it creepy that you went as far as looking up her belts online to see how much they cost.

So she earns a 6 figure salary and you earn a quarter of that? Then I'd say you are on a very good wage too and probably aren't feeling the pinch as much as most if at all. She can spend her salary and wear what she wishes as can you. If I was earning YOUR wage id probably own a designer handbag or two myself.

The OP could be on £25k.

OP has repeatedly ignored all PPs asking if she's good at her job. Says a lot really. Judge her on her appearance and clothing, and not her capabilities.

When then that would make the manager on 100k and I very much doubt she would be wearing what she is on 100k. So the manager is either on much more meaning the op is too or the money is coming from a spouse/inheritance etc. Either way the OP has no right to complain about the items that the manager owns. Maybe the manager has got herself deeply in debt buying all these items, in which case I'd much rather be in ops position than the managers.

She is a head of department and is probably expected to dress accordingly.
If you feel annoyed or jealous that is your problem.

What on earth makes you suppose that?

I have read and then read again! I can’t believe how judgemental the whole team are with this woman!

This woman’s possessions could be an accumulation of gifts, saving for and working towards these things.

How she spends her pay has absolutely nothing to do with any of you.

Her comment about us all feeling the pinch - would you rather her completely ignore the topic in conversation? I also don’t think she’s being insensitive, she was trying to empathise, she could feel awkward when it comes to conversations about money, being aware of the salary gap. I know I do when people in the office talk about money! She also may genuinely be feeling the pinch, but it would be highly inappropriate for her to elaborate. People generally live within their means, her mortgage and utilities like the rest of us may well increase and take her to her limits. You just don’t know, so why are you judging?

It reminds me of a situation in my office, where there was a group of older woman who would make comments about a younger employees make up, comment on the fact she would pull out a small mirror throughout the day to check her face and top it up. Turned out the younger woman was in a violent relationship and the make up was hiding a multitude of bruises etc and she felt like this was her armour! However there was plenty catty comments about how she loved herself and about how she was made up as if she was heading to a night club blah blah this woman also dressed very well, designer clothes, bags etc again, we later found out that she felt if she looked immaculate on the outside no one would see what was going on the inside!

Think before you comment, it’s really poor of you all to bully/target this woman because of how she wants to present herself!

Congrats OP, you and your jealousy made it to the Daily Mail