In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

Sorry but they will CRIPPLE your feet. I have never gotten over the trauma of handing over £500 for shoes that want me to die with every step. Those gorgeous, beautiful, stunning evil bastards.

@TerfQueen I've never had that. Good shoes don't hurt you. I walked home about a mile after Sunday lunch last week in high moss green suede sling back Louboutins I label on the box "Mouse" because of the decorative shoelaces on the front that look like mouse whiskers. I really like them and wear them a lot We walk half the way looking for a cab but if it gets more than that we'd say it isn't worth it and do the rest. I link arms with my husband but I would be able to do it on my own.

There are other shoes labelled "piebald pony Casedei" and "YSL pink pig trotters" that are easily walkable. It's the balance.

Everyone in the team has a heart of gold, all genuine hardworking lovely people. We are very close knit team and look out for one another, which is why we don’t like to sit back and watch someone come in and cause unnecessary upset. I would never dream of bullying anyone, nor is it about jealousy, sexism or anything else!!!

My experience of people who claim to be in a team like that, is that they can be awful bullies. They all do it so see they are doing nothing wrong.

I knew of a close knit team who claimed to have a heart of gold too. A new lady joined and left after several months due stress from being bullied. Everyone denied it as it was "just a bit of fun". For context, new lady had a little crush on one of the team, so the rest wrote a fake Valentines day card from him to her. Fake notes pushed into her locker etc. He was in on it too. It was awful.

Same team were also really dismissive of anyone having time off for mental health issues too. It was a case of "we are all thinking it" so it must be true sort of thing.

This team sound like bullies. I temped somewhere like this during summer holidays at uni. The team had been there forever and were tight. They bullied a woman with SEN who was left out of everything. One day one of them threw deodorant at her as they said she smelled. The others laughed and called it ‘banter’. Manager said fuck all. Proper pack mentality. I only stayed a week.

Is this post for real? 😳

If I was HR and the team came trundling In complaining that their manager looked too nice and well put in her designer clothes and accessories and expected me to have a word with her ( to say what exactly though?!! as HR can’t exactly enforce or suggest that she shops in Matalan or M&S) I would seriously be pushing for a psych evaluation of the team.

Management and HR would have seen how she dresses at the interview stage and deemed it acceptable.

Pathetic, isn’t it?

Hearts of gold though.

It’s not really a workplace issue, but you are entitled to dislike her for it

This is ridiculous.
Anyone is entitled to wear what they want at work as long as it is within the dress code.
You really need to get on with your work and wind your neck in.

OP: AIBU

Majority of posts: YABU

OP: You are all wrong and didn't read / understand my post properly. I'll explain further....

Majority of posts: YAstillBU

OP: I'm flouncing now it's ridiculous that most of you don't agree with me

I've never read anything more pathetic than this. You are obviously consumed with envy and jealousy. Please go and tell HR and I hope they tell your manager what sort of people she has reporting to her.

You are my hero

This sums up mn up!

One thread I'm on is about a tiny kitten which everyone is being lovely and offering advice about this kitten

The other is about someone flouncing because they don't agree with 99% of everyone else because they're boss has deigned to wear designer clothes to work

😅

My personal view is that she should present herself however she wants. A couple of things to note:

• Some or all of these things may be bought second hand, counterfeit, hand me downs from a well off family member, scrimped and saved for for a long time etc etc etc
• She may do her hair and nails herself for pennies

I have a lot of clothes, bought over years and I like to wear a different outfit every time I go into the office (about once a week) and I am the highest earner on my team. Although it might look like I'm spending a lot of money, some of my items are very old, combined in such a way that I've worn many items multiple times but you wouldn't realise and I make a lot of my accessories etc. Some may think I'm flaunting my 'wealth' but I'm just having fun, and sounds like she is too. I am also spending a LOT less than people may think.

If her appearance is upsetting people has anyone just had a quiet word with her? Maybe she doesn't realise that it is bringing down

One of the weirdest threads ive read but anyway-

think ill tell my dh to complain about all the bankers where he works are earning too much ( hes insecurity) that will give them a chuckle

Well what a lovely bunch of people you and you close knit office buddies sound like eh.. I wish I could join your team!

I mean how fucking dare the boss who has worked her way up in life to earn her sort of salary.. how fucking dare she think to look nice and take any sort of pride in herself. She sounds like a right bitch!

I don't think you've mentioned it in your posts but she just mustn't be thinking of the pain she's inflicting on other women in the office by doing so. Must be making your lives hell!

Please go to HR. She needs to go.

🙄 seriously OP?!

This has given me a great idea. I'm off to complain to HR first thing on Monday about my colleague flaunting the fact he had a solid 12 hours sleep last night while I was up several times with a poorly child and then up again at 5.30 when the other one woke for the day.
It's just not fair that he should be able to waltz in looking all bright eyed and bushy tailed while I stagger in trying to keep my eyelids open and pick cheerios out of my hair.

YANBU that she is tone-deaf (and rather shallow and materialistic by the sounds of things)

However YABU to think of reporting her to HR, you can’t report people because you don’t like their clothes!

34 pages of comments? I'm late to the party. But I wear DMs to work, wouldn't know a Cartier or Rolex watch if I tripped over it, and couldn't tell you what brand of clothing my colleagues were wearing at gunpoint.

You're powerless to change others. If you're not happy with something in your working situation, change yourself (or your job). The only person answerable to you, is you.

Maybe she has wealthy relatives and they are gifts? Maybe she had an inheritance ftom a grandparent or maybe she has just done well and chooses to spend her earnings that way.

Either way absolutely ridiculous to go to HR. Her clothing is irrelevant to the job she does. I can't believe you are all fixated on this. HR will be dining out on this for years to come.

We all see celebrities day in day out in the media with more than most of us have. It's life.

Honestly there are bigger things to get upset about. Don't let it eat you up. Is she a good manager? Is she good at her job?

This reminds me of when I turned up to work like a zombie as DS2 was up 5 times the previous night and my colleague had pillow creases on her face. I was livid!!! I've not forgiven her.

Me and my husband had to save up for a house deposit: my colleague was given £100k by her parents. I didn't go to the management team though.
That's life.

I can see why it might grate, but ultimately you're BU to suggest she should have to buy cheap clothes to wear in your company.

If I told my boss he had to buy a second car because I was offended by his Range Rover he'd tell me to piss right off.

Tbh this is why men are so much easier to work with. Much less petty drama and bitching.

Blimey. That's some stereotyping!

No, a bonkers reaction is still a bonkers reaction. OP can say what she wants but nobody is obliged to act on it.