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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

956 replies

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:25

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

OP posts:
ThatGirlInACountrySong · 20/10/2022 21:34

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:33

I suggest reading my post again. Clearly everyone is missing the point entirely. The whole team are upset so I’m not the only one with this opinion

Because you've all been having a good bitching session about her!!

Octomore · 20/10/2022 21:35

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:33

I suggest reading my post again. Clearly everyone is missing the point entirely. The whole team are upset so I’m not the only one with this opinion

Lots of people can be just as wrong as an individual can be.

LadybirdsAreNeverHappy · 20/10/2022 21:35

What do you think HR might say to her or tell her to do exactly?

catchthedog · 20/10/2022 21:35

If she's your Head then presumably her job role and salary is achievable by you too should you want it. If your whole team want to earn more though so you can also buy fancy gear, then you all need to apply for better paid jobs

LemonLymanDotCom · 20/10/2022 21:35

Wow. Just wow.

you want your boss to not do her nails, wear sack cloth & ashes and sell her designer gear just to make you feel better?
Complain to HR based on your own envy & jealousy? Wow. Petty much?
If you want that salary then you do that job. If you can’t do that job, don’t be envious if the perks that go alongside it.

TerfQueen · 20/10/2022 21:36

Would you rather she knocked about in primark leggings and pretended to be just like everyone else? If she can command a 6 figure salary I imagine she’s had to work for it, I can’t imagine begrudging someone the nicer things in life they’ve worked for because I can’t afford them.

Arnaquer · 20/10/2022 21:36

Maybe HR will order her to come in wearing a cloth sack and ashes.

ApolloandDaphne · 20/10/2022 21:36

So how would you feel if someone on the same pay grade as you dressed like this? If they had a rich partner or had got an inheritance. Would you feel the same?

Personally i would just let it wash over me. Does it really matter what she wears and what she has? It is going to change nothing about your circumstances or those you work with.

CrossStichQueen · 20/10/2022 21:36

This cannot be real. Nobody is this dense especially a whole office of people.

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:36

LadybirdsAreNeverHappy · 20/10/2022 21:35

What do you think HR might say to her or tell her to do exactly?

To wear normal clothes like the rest of us. Many of us are struggling mentally due to the financial strains and she really isn’t helping. She has plenty of time during her spare time to wear her fancy things, they shouldn’t be worn in the workplace

OP posts:
WindyHedges · 20/10/2022 21:36

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

What a ridiculous thing to take to HR. It makes you sound so very jealous of her, and your focus on her nails, her hair, her clothes is so totally inappropriate, I can’t even begin to say how silly you sound. Would you say the same thing about a man wearing a Saville Row suit into the office?

Is she good at her job?

PreColumbian · 20/10/2022 21:37

So, if she dressed modestly; it would mean she didn’t have money…?

1FootInTheRave · 20/10/2022 21:37

Do give hr a good laugh and report her.

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've read on here.

MrsTuxedo · 20/10/2022 21:37

An executive at your place of work dresses like an executive and it displeases you! Unbelievable !

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/10/2022 21:38

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:36

To wear normal clothes like the rest of us. Many of us are struggling mentally due to the financial strains and she really isn’t helping. She has plenty of time during her spare time to wear her fancy things, they shouldn’t be worn in the workplace

As long as the items are suitable for working in (on a practical level) then the designer name or branding all over them is meaningless.

Fairislefandango · 20/10/2022 21:38

Confused She can wear what she wants and carry any bag she wants, fgs. I can't believe you or your colleagues think this is an HR matter. How ridiculous!

she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

These days?! Most people have never been able to afford those things. That's normal. If someone has the salary (or private means) to afford them, why shouldn't they if they want to?! People shouldn't be expected to change the way they dress for fear of causing jealousy!

CrossStichQueen · 20/10/2022 21:38

To wear normal clothes like the rest of us.

What are normal clothes?
I assume she is wearing dresses, trousers,skirts, blouses are these not normal clothes?

bellac11 · 20/10/2022 21:39

This is one of those threads that gets deleted in the end because its a load of rubbish

wincarwoo · 20/10/2022 21:39

@Mandarinthyme I see your point but it's an unreasonable one and is borne from jealousy. Is she doing a good job? That's all you should care about.

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 20/10/2022 21:39

You want her to wear 'normal clothes' like what? From where?

Is it acceptable to tell a woman what not to wear and what you want her to wear? Are you all women in this office or men as well?

Itscute · 20/10/2022 21:39

It’s a bit patronising for someone to ‘dress poor’ to ‘fit in’ surely?

TerfQueen · 20/10/2022 21:39

Choo choo! All aboard the Mumsnet Fummin’ train 🚂 to Crazy Town! Next stop, MyBossEarnsMoreThanMeVille

skilpadde · 20/10/2022 21:40

You would be utterly out of your minds to go to HR about this.

Come on now, not one of you has thought "Hang on a minute?"

Lcb123 · 20/10/2022 21:40

I can understand you all being annoyed but I don’t think HR can do anything as long as she’s not breaking office dress code, if there even is one.
maybe a more proactive approach is to get together and lobby for a salary increase? You could all research other jobs in your industry and see if your pay is on a par. Get help from your union rep if you have one.

Rutland2022 · 20/10/2022 21:40

Don’t be so ridiculous. You all need to give your head a wobble.
if anything your manager has something to complain about, bitching and moaning about someones appearance is tantamount to
bullying. It’s nasty and unnecessary and you should be ashamed of yourselves.