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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

956 replies

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:25

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

OP posts:
DownAtTheBodyShop · 20/10/2022 21:27

The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR

You want to complain to HR because someone who earns more than you can afford things that you cannot?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/10/2022 21:28

Did anyone on your pay band apply for the job when it was advertised?

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:29

DownAtTheBodyShop · 20/10/2022 21:27

The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR

You want to complain to HR because someone who earns more than you can afford things that you cannot?

You’ve missed the point. It’s not her salary that’s the issue, it’s her insensitively showcasing her wealth in front of us in a very tasteless and excessive way

OP posts:
Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:30

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/10/2022 21:28

Did anyone on your pay band apply for the job when it was advertised?

No, we wouldn’t have been considered.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/10/2022 21:30

Is she dressing in accordance with the uniform policy/dress code for the workplace? If so, then I'm not sure what the actual issue is.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/10/2022 21:30

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:30

No, we wouldn’t have been considered.

Why not?

FarmerRefuted · 20/10/2022 21:30

Dragging her down isn't going to raise you up any higher so why bother? It smacks of petty jealousy.

She has a right to buy what she wants with her money and she has a right to use the things she has bought. So long as she is dressed appropriately for the office it is none of your business whether her outfit is Primark or Prada.

Perhaps instead of running to HR for a whinge, you should speak to them about raising your salary.

Octomore · 20/10/2022 21:31

It's not the fault of one woman that your company undervalues and underpays its staff. The focus needs to be on lobbying to be paid fairly. Are you in a union?

Ship · 20/10/2022 21:31

Surely you are not for real?!

RedWingBoots · 20/10/2022 21:31

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:29

You’ve missed the point. It’s not her salary that’s the issue, it’s her insensitively showcasing her wealth in front of us in a very tasteless and excessive way

You presume she's paid full price for everything when she may actually get items and treatments cheap because of who she is related to or knows.

AnneLovesGilbert · 20/10/2022 21:31

Are you looking for a new job?

Someone thought she was worth the salary, if she doesn’t earn it they’ll let her go, why shouldn’t she buy what she likes with her money?

Would you be as annoyed if she wasn’t earning her money but had an inheritance, a lottery win or a rich spouse?

Spend less time ogling a colleague’s clothes and find a job which pays more.

ThatGirlInACountrySong · 20/10/2022 21:32

They could be fakes!

Could be charity shop finds

Or off Vinted

Think you all sound ridiculous going to HR with this!

steff13 · 20/10/2022 21:32

You're going to go to HR and complain that your supervisor wears designer clothes and gets her nails done? And what do you presume HR will do about it?

Screenburn · 20/10/2022 21:32

This is nuts. What do you want HR to say? “Go and buy some Primark gear and only wear that to work”?!

Genuinely, what outcome are you looking for?

Devoutspoken · 20/10/2022 21:32

I think any overt displays of wealth are naff and not great in times of wealth disparity

2pinkginsplease · 20/10/2022 21:33

This can’t be real.

if you’re not happy with your job or pay then look for a new job!

Octomore · 20/10/2022 21:33

Also, unless she has wealth that is separate to her salary, your description sounds exagerrated. Rolex watches? Really?

Cheeeeislifenow · 20/10/2022 21:33

You sound like you all are bitching and gossiping about her, be careful or you all could be in trouble with HR.

Octomore · 20/10/2022 21:33

Also, unless she has wealth that is separate to her salary, your description sounds exagerrated. Rolex watches? Really?

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:33

I suggest reading my post again. Clearly everyone is missing the point entirely. The whole team are upset so I’m not the only one with this opinion

OP posts:
steff13 · 20/10/2022 21:33

Devoutspoken · 20/10/2022 21:32

I think any overt displays of wealth are naff and not great in times of wealth disparity

Be that as it may, it's not an HR matter.

Celebrityskint · 20/10/2022 21:34

It is a bit insensitive for her to wear that sort of stuff while everyone is struggling: yes.

But absolutely nothing you or HR can do about it

Alwayswonderedwhy · 20/10/2022 21:34

Are you being serious?

Mandarinthyme · 20/10/2022 21:34

Octomore · 20/10/2022 21:33

Also, unless she has wealth that is separate to her salary, your description sounds exagerrated. Rolex watches? Really?

It’s not exaggerated sadly

OP posts:
lobsterkiller · 20/10/2022 21:34

You can't demand a person wears lower cost clothes, that's ridiculous. As long as its within the dress code then it's fine.