In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11340453/Woman-sparks-outrage-complaining-HR-manager-wears-designer-clothes.html

Unless she is bragging about how much she earns or spends - which still isn't really against any conduct rules, just social etiquette - this person hasn't done anything wrong at all, surely you can see that?

She has come to work everyday dressed appropriately but because of a little label or a couple of words printed on the fabric you and your colleagues have decided to take exception to her because costs have gone up and you are all struggling.

This isn't her fault. Blame the people that voted the government in for the rise in costs, and blame your bosses who haven't given you a salary increase. But do not blame her or the way she dresses.

You all might think she's being tone deaf. But I think that's more a reflection on you lot than her. Fixating on someone because they don't dress the same way as you is a very dangerous road to go down. I hope she is actually tone deaf, because if I knew lots of people were googling the price of my clothes, discussing me extensively behind my back or wanted to get me in trouble with my superiors because of a few words printed on my bag I would feel very bullied.

I'm very glad I don't work there.

YABU. Honestly unless you're a fashion maven most people really wouldn't notice whether a nice bag was a brand or not. Could all be counterfeit, around my end cos it's very working class and poor in areas if you noticed someone with a LV bag for example you'd assume instantly it was a knock off.

YABU on a lot of levels though

I know OP has ‘ducked out’ of this conversation, but I just want to add how sad I find this post (and IMO very possibly real not fake as some people think), firstly, this is blatant sexism as no matter what, a male boss would not experience this attitude from his staff, even if he walked around with Rolex and designer shoes and bags (men very much can do this!)
secondly this woman is young and earns that much money, she has worked her way there. She has taken on a role that sounds very difficult, managing a lot of clicky women who are very ‘tight knit’ and don’t like outsiders, she has probably been brought in to bring about change which staff often don’t like and to top it all off the workplace is obviously very toxic. I don’t envy her at all.
apart from all of the above, she obviously worked very hard to achieve her position, probably gave up things like personal time and maybe even the chance to have a family. IMO if you have a job paying lower 6 figures (which I’m assuming she does rather that high 6 figures if you are all on a ‘quarter of her wage’) you spend most of your time working and therefore why can’t she wear clothes that make her happy? And wear expensive jewellery and get her nails done (btw I know plenty of people earning minimum wage who get their nails done and spend much more on clothes and jewellery than me and I earn a modest wage in middle management)
please leave this woman alone if she is doing her job and consider suggesting to your company and HR that they invest in some equality and bias training for all of you.

I have loads of wealthy clients that have lovely things. Do I want them, not particularly, I'm happy that I have a roof over my head and nice things within my budget range. Am I jealous because they have these things? No is the simple answer.

I don't see the point in hating on someone that has what you don't. She's clearly worked her way up, was given the six figure salary and spends it how she sees fit.

Would it make you happier if she came to work with her belongings in a Tesco carrier and wearing a tracksuit? She'd still be on a 6 figure wage!

The PP you were responding to has said nothing remotely bitchy. However, your attitude to other women as 'bitches' entirely sums it up. There's a reason you find it difficult to work with other women. I suggest the reason is not those women.

I suggest you're being very presumptuous. When I've worked with men, I wasn't walking on egg shells. When I've worked FOR men, I knew where I stood. I don't need you to tell me what I interpreted from the poster's statement. No wonder you agree with them; you both come across as uptight. Another reason why I liked working with men.

I worked somewhere where a director would show off.

I found one of his gloves "£80 gloves and I just leaving them lying around!"

His car needed work "that's the problem with expensive cars; expensive problems".

I was on £4.92 per hour.

Apart from the ridiculous jealousy and spite you and your colleagues are showing, I would like to point out that I have bought many a designer outfit from my local charity shops so she might even be being thrifty but I guess that didn't cross your mind lol

If I were HR I'd fire you on the spot - every complainant. Just who you don't want in a company. Busybodies who aim for the lowest common denominator.

I think you're missing the point yourself. It doesn't matter a fig if the whole team us upset. Get a better job if you don't like it and stop being such an envious snitch.

We knew that was going to happen! 😅

The manager is doing nothing wrong and can spend her wages however she wants. Direct your jealousy in being in a 6 figure job one day.

I understand why everyone else is jealous but it is life that some people have nicer things than others. If someone said that your haircut was too expensive or your car was too fancy would you really change your ways?

I remember seeing pics of David Cameron on holiday pretending that he was an average person by going on an EasyJet holiday and wearing unbranded polos which could have been from an average shop like Primark or Tesco. We all know that he's a multi millionaire so pretending not to be is pointless and condescending.

It's easier for men in suits to disguise what brand they are wearing. Would people be annoyed if a low paid worker was in an expensive suit like Hugo Boss? If their higher earning spouse bought it as a gift would it still be distasteful.

What is tasteless and insensitive about wearing the expensive items she was previously able to afford? Her income may be higher, but I dare say her outgoings were too. Who are you to judge whether or not she’s feeling the cost of living increase or not?

How often are adjectives like 'bitchy', 'petty drama' and 'uptight' used about men as opposed to women?

I can answer that, as many a socio-linguist has done before me. Not very. People who frequently and casually use these terms about women are illustrating precisely why they're having problems interacting with women.

That’s very Marxist! 🥴

You're being totally unreasonable. Different people have different priorities on spending etc. I would rather wear old clothes for many years and save to put extra towards the mortgage but my friends would rather spend on themselves - think very similar designer and have very different lifestyles.
Also, she earns more than you - so what?! If you feel underpaid, go work somewhere else where you are not - that's not her fault.

YTA - so bitter, someone else has nice clothes and accessories and they should dress down so you don't feel inadequate? How about you go update your skills, get that boss level job with the 6 figure salary and get yourself to a point you aren't bitter at those who can buy nice things...

I think the only person who has missed the point is you and the team. I cant imagine saying to my boss how dare you come to work in your 2.8ltr porche when we are all struggling to pay for petrol. And in your designer suit at that!!! Just rubbing it in our faces!!!

The comments from the DF readers are hilarious:

What does she think that HR are going to do? They can hardly put her on a disciplinary to force her to start shopping in Primark or Asda.

All of them should go and work in McDonald's, they all wear the same uniform. But I suppose she'd complain that the manager has a bigger, shinier badge than her, with more stars on it!

Spending a lifetime enviously looking at others is going to be miserable. Theres always others with more. Go to night school and move jobs.

She sounds as if she would enjoy a pity party with Starmer.

Don't bother. "HR" stands for "human remains", because that's all that's left once they get involved in anything.

She has the thinking of most socialists. She doesn't have the skill-set to be as successful as others so she wants to deprive them of having more than she. If everyone had exactly the same thing then she could be a failure without being constantly reminded of it. Socialism is just a way to stop people from being more successful than others.

There's a lot of jealousy in an office. Especially females. My manager ask me to be less efficient as the rest of the team felt threatened. The most ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. I asked her to repeat in case I'd misheard. The office women ignored me every day. I left after 3 months, got a better paid job with better hours.

Another high maintenance complaining whinging girl who should step aside and let a man do her job. Why would anyone willingly employ a woman with all the problems they bring? True some women may be decent in the workplace but why take the risk?

Our department head is very young and glamorous

What has that got to do with anything? You and your colleagues sound like bullies and want to be careful before you end up before HR. Having group conversations slagging off the young department head because of how she dresses and the fact she has more money than you - can you not see how that sounds?

If she's good at her job and dressing modestly then you've no reason at all to report her for what she's wearing. It could all be fake for all you know!

If you're struggling look for a new job, see if you're entitled to any benefits to help boost your income.. don't bitch.

Sadly, they are also spot on. Give me a team of male colleagues any day, or a predominantly male team with strong women to balance it. Anything rather than the team described by OP, how grim it all sounds.🤔

But @GerronBuzanDoThaWomwok this is MN and it’s basically against the law to voice this opinion 🤣

It's up to management to eliminate this type of behaviour. Allowing this type of bs to flourish, comes down to poor management.

I work in a male dominated industry and have often inherited dysfunctional teams with a wide variety of gender mixes. Men certainly can be petty, backstabbing, gossipy, tattling divas.

Once I have evaluated a team and set my expectations, I give people a chance to adapt. If they don't, I fire them.

which sex do you tend to fire? 🙀