In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

Also the fact you all got together and googled her role and therefore her salary with the sole reason to use it as a stick to beat her with (this is true. there is no other reason you would google it.) is disgusting.

I don't think think it has to be about this one woman in particular. Any manager who overtly displayed their wealth could trigger a response in OP and her team i.e. PP mentioned bosses coming in in expensive cars etc. That doesn't mean the boss does not have a right to wear what they want or drive in what they like but it can come accross as insenitive and immodest.

OP should not be bullying anyone! Feeling resentment or unhappy about it is to me understandable.

No one has assumed the Op doesn’t work hard. Or said this woman works harder. That’s not what the thread is about.

I get the impression some pp do associate greater welath wiith having worked harder when that is not often the case. And that you must be amazing if you can command a high salary. The truth is that many valuable roles do not pay so monetariy and that human worth should not be judged by what you can earn. Begging your parden but the conversation can veer into many paths as it has.

and heads of departments do not set wages. If op has an issue with wealth inequality, that would be an issue wether this woman wore primark or Parada. She would still be earning 6 figures and op would still be earning what she is. The difference in wages would be exactly the same

This is correct however just seeing oppulence when you are struggling is understandably hard - it makes it more noticable.

OP - if (god forbid - woudnt wish it on anyone) you were struggling to conceive and she came in heavily pregnant would you go to HR for her "flaunting her fertility" in your face

Because thats what this is.

Co-sign.

I think the suggestion this should go to HR is ridiculous.

To earn that six figure salary I'm sure there has been a lot of training and/or study involved, why shouldn't she be permitted to wear designer clothing with the salary she earns. I know for me my shoes and handbags are my treats to myself when I've had to work on a specific case that's successfully closed. When you've worked hard for that salary and bonus, why shouldn't she spend her money?? As someone else said, men will wear tailored suits which can cost thousands.

Again saying she mentions her parents so it can't be an inheritance, disregards grandparents/ loss of sibling/ other extended family. And why is it ok for the money to come from inheritance but not that which she fairly earns herself.

The checking the salary of the new boss and googling her clothing items then "the whole team" talking about it sounds like bullying behaviour, which I think HR will have more issue with.

Nope! 😂

Totally batshit.

The thread is about this woman. It’s not about wealth in general. And people are talking about ops bullying of this woman.

Its not understandable that op feels resentful that someone who earns more has more money. It’s not understandable to resent someone for spending money in a way you wouldn’t.

Its become bullying in this situation. Which is absolutely or ok. There’s no rule that says it couldn’t be bullying because op earns less.

you getting the impression, doesn’t mean people said it and didn’t say it on this thread. It’s likely Op and the head of dept, have both worked hard. The woman most likely has worked hard to get where she is. That doesn’t take anything away from the Op. and even if you could measure ‘worked hard’ and the woman hasn’t, still doesn’t mean someone can dictate what she wears.

i disagree that just seeing opulence is hard when you are struggling. I was a single parent in the bones of my arse. I have never found other people having more or prioritising different things hard. If you are more focused on yourself and not spending your time googling peoples clothing items, what other people have isn’t a concern. Worrying about other individuals have that you don’t, isn’t going to make anyone feel better.

I just don’t agree that the whole team are upset.
I think you are jealous.
Money isn’t everything .. you don’t know how she feels on the inside, what insecurities she might have. Sounds very pathetic and judgemental that you care so much!

Love this

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Fortunately for me I couldn't care less what tat (or otherwise) people own.

I'm not jealous at all of someone on a high wage throwing it away on designer tat and beauty services. Now if she was saving well for her retirement or had decent savings for her kids to go to university or have a house deposit then I could be a bit jealous. Not enough to want their stressful job though!

You do sound very jealous and it's not a pretty sight. It's not about her flaunting her goods- you actually had to Google some of it to know how expensive it was. If she told you her SIL is a hairdresser and does her hair for a tenner and she does her own nails would that be OK or is it compulsory for her to look like she has been dragged through a hedge?

She would probably look good in a bin bag. Deal with it.

Sounds like the green eyed monster to me. Why didn’t any of you apply for her job if you saw it advertised? If you are happy to stay where you are, don’t complain you don’t have the things people with more money do. This just makes you sound jealous and petty..

Well you’re all unreasonable then.

'getting silly' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

it started off absolutely fucking ridiculous, with a side serve of absolutely 🦇 💩

I just hope there aren't people who think this way.

YANBU for speaking to your boss about getting a payrise, considering you are overworked and understaffed. Seems like you are all unhappy with your wage and job right now. Have you all looked into moving jobs?

YABU to go to HR to complain about the clothes or bags some brings to work. What she earns isn’t up to you and really isn’t your concern, what you earn is what matters and you should definitely speak to someone about a payrise. I’m not going to call you ridiculous etc because I have worked with people who are a lot higher paid and of course you do get pangs of jealousy or “it’s so unfair” feelings but I wouldn’t go HR to complain about their items

I can only think the mods are laughing at this thread as well. 😂can't believe it's still here.

This. It could well backfire.
She may prioritise her clothes etc and be deep in debt and/or as others mentioned have rich partner, inheritance etc.

focus your energy on negotiating better pay for the rest of the team. You can even use the salary of her post as an example of “company can clearly afford it” and huge salary disparities generating resentment and demotivating rest of team

Dragging her down won't raise you up, as a PP said.

If it was a man turning up in a flashy car would anyone think of grumbling to HR about insensitivity?

Is her handbag making your work any harder? Does she bully staff? Is she blatantly sleeping with the married boss? Currently occupying 10 Downing Street? We working women should lift one another up and support professional achievement, whatever tat we spend our disposable income on. Bitterness and envy just keeps us second class citizens in the workplace.

Sounds like your workmate has earned her wealth. Why not get all your disgruntled staff together to aim higher at the hideous display of unearned wealth we are subjected to by Royals! Let the Revolution begin …….

Absolutely ridiculous.

It's not a race to the bottom, you are definitely being unreasonable.

Try getting a better job and then maybe you won't have to be so jealous.

@Mandarinthyme wanting to leave it now accusing everyone else of being silly after starting it all reminds me of the time I had to adjudicate in the War Of The Office Xmas lunch.

One side of the team wanted to have a traditional turkey meal and all the trimmings in the traditional British pub chain Nicholsons while the other side wanted a Frenchified dejeuner at the equally nice chain restaurant Cote which included dinde (which as people who did French at school will know is turkey). Vegetarian options were available.

After listening to people sniping about the other side being either common or poncy I came down with the judgement of Solomon and and said we were going to Pizza Express. Such is the power of the person in charge in charge of the department and the company's small contribution to the joy of the annual festivities.

Everyone hated me but I didn't care because I liked pizza. And it gave them a chance to bond over their resentment of me because like @Mandarinthyme insists they were all a genuinely lovely close knit hardworking team with hearts of gold who would never dream of bullying anyone.

I can't remember what shoes I wore that day but I drank quite a bit.

@limitedperiodonly 😁💐🍕. Brilliant .

What? So When I finally have enough money for my gorgeous, new, saved up for years for, Christian Louboutins I won't be able to wear them in case someone thinks I'm showing off or being insensitive? I don't say this often but get a fucking grip!

I haven't read the full thread but I imagine my view isn't unusual.

Ah come on lads, the thread has been escalated through the proper MNHQ protocols to the most severe level of “silly” time to rein it in now alright?

Sorry but they will CRIPPLE your feet. I have never gotten over the trauma of handing over £500 for shoes that want me to die with every step. Those gorgeous, beautiful, stunning evil bastards.