In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

To me it sounds strongly like you have the hump that someone younger than you is more qualified, experienced and doing better in life financially than you. I think you might just need to get over this one or start applying to different jobs, you don’t seem at all happy where you are.

If she is fairly new to the company then they are probably fake anyway. There is no way she will have been able afford all of that with a few months wages which will largely be lost to tax. She could have inherited the money.
I think the issues is why did you not go for the role and why is there such a discrepancy between the wages? I don't think that there is such a discrepancy in my office without it being a sliding scale of experience and responsibility. There aren't only two options of £25k and £100k.

Man you sound nuts, the lot of you, god I can just imagine the type of office you work in 😒

Or she could've worked hard, got umpteen promotions and earn a great salary and like designer labels and spend her money how she likes?

You sound like you want the employee to have a "bad" reason to be wearing the clothes, would you feel the same if a man attended work in a designer suit and shoes?

She could be like me, buying good nice things second hand or in the sale and making them last years! I have a mulberry bag which I bought from a second hand dealer, and handmade shoes which I bought on sale at a huge discount. That's how I buy everything- quality on a budget. Gel nails I do myself, and I have expensive jewellery but it's either been bought for me or it's inherited. You all sound like teenagers- YABVU

You're getting a bit of a kicking here OP but I agree it is massively insensitive. I just don't think it's an HR issue unfortunately.

My head of dept earns a lot of money - she always looks smart, has her nails done & regular hair cuts, but I've never seen her wear obvious labels, designer handbags, expensive watches or jewellery and she drives an ordinary car.

People are accusing you of envy - I don't think it is. I think it's ok to feel how you do - the cheek of her talking about cost of living and pretending to empathise 🙃

So nasty and unkind!

Probably fake? Why?

New too company so can't have earnt much, well she probably wasn't unemployed previously, so would have also been on good money.

Most high income lost too tax, Christ reminder to self don't earn well, it doesn't make you richer (who knew that).

Discrepeancy between wages, it's obvious none of the OP or her "close kniw colleagues had the skill set need, they need to up their game.

Posted too soon and before correcting spelling errors!

But you sound equally as jealous as the OP.

I mean really, she can wear whatever she likes so long as it's appropriate and within company guidelines.
The people in the next house to me have had an extension, their house looks amazing and makes ours look a bit crap (we've done the best we can with the money we have) Should I go round and complain to them that their house looks better and they're rubbing our face in it that they're wealthier?? Of course not. It's part of life. There will be people on minimum wage working 3 jobs that will think YOU are lucky!

Jealous spiteful post. I hope HR hands your arse to you. You’re not allowed to tell your boss to ‘ dress like the rest of us’ I mean, WTF???

"swanning in" eh? I bet she's doing nothing more than walking in to work in an unremarkable way. Even if she were to dress in Primani as per your requirements, she'd probably still look amazing, as some people just always look well put together. What would you have her do with her hair and nails?

...Or y'know she could have qualified for this high-paying and undoubtedly skilled job by being in a high-paying and skilled job already?!

The fuck?

I thought for a minute you were talking about me - new to the job, glamorous, swanning in, designer clothes etc. Then I realised she couldn't be me because she was young. Do you know how much cosmetic surgery costs? We deserve every penny. Just get on with your work.

PS I am not insensitive to others. I know exactly what they are thinking.

I had my nails done last week and my hair cut and coloured. I didn't realise how insensitive I was being! Perhaps I shouldn't wear the Tag watch as well (nowhere near Rolex standards I know!)!

I think you should go to HR just so the company knows what a nasty bunch of bullying nutjob they're employing.

I don't want to sound mean, because we are all tired of COL and I can quite see where you're coming from, but I'm not quite sure what's your point except just saying it out loud? You have two choices: change job or just accept it that she makes more money than you. You can't just tell HR to pay her less because you feel resentful that she can afford what you can't. There's always a bigger fish in the pond.

You can’t complain to HR that you’re all jealous.

Exactly "swanning in" what a nasty phrase.

She should've come in on a broom stick wearing a hessian sack!

Sounds like a mix of jealousy and internalised misogyny.

You sound bonkers. HR will roll their eyes at you.

That's a bit of a dramatic reaction to my comment. In that case, if she already had a very high paying previous job and earnt the money from that (the post makes it sound like it's THIS salary that's the problem, and what THIS salary can buy her), then she can't complain what a previous salary has been able to provide.

If she started wearing primark to work it wouldn't make her salary any less would it ?
instead of being resentful maybe you should look at why she is on 6 figures and got the job but you all, having worked there for years, didn't. And make sure that when she moves on you are in a position to apply for it.
Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.

Op this is definitely not a HR issue, at least not in the way you assume, and you need to be very careful that your collective views don't turn around and bite you on the arse, as she could well make a counter claim of bullying and harassment, which is a HR issue.

My boss zooms from her lovely house in Richmond with a big view of her sprawling garden.
Im thinking of asking her to start taking meetings from her shed, or to change her background to a landfill site - you know, just to raise team morale a bit.

Sorry that bold was meant to be an italic for a quotation

Don’t be silly.

YANBU.

I once worked somewhere... many of the staff were admin on minimum wage, and those that were doing the actual work tended to be relatively junior and poorly paid to other firms in the industry.

One of the bosses was a piece of work... he'd come in, and do stuff like wander round from desk to desk asking people to help him choose his new £10k electric gates for his drive (he lived in London).

Personally I'd pretty much ignore the boss, and pity them for how pathetic they are. But - dependent on how much I cared about the company - might point out to other bosses how it really doesn't do much for morale.