In thinking my manager is hugely insensitive for wearing these things into work?

[Mandarinthyme]

Our department head is very young and glamorous and is fairly new to the company. We know her salary range as it was stated alongside the job advert (a six figure salary whilst the rest of the team are lucky to earn a quarter of that). Every day she swans in to the office like she’s dressed for the catwalk, different designer handbags (the very obvious types - think Gucci, LV etc), Rolex watch, Cartier bracelets, designer belts and shoes. Not to mention the perfect nails, hair and everything else that we just cannot afford these days.

Meanwhile our large team is underpaid and overworked. The recent financial climate means many of us are struggling to heat our homes, worrying about mortgage/rental price hikes and generally having to really cut back. We are all office based and this is something we talk about frequently in conversation, so she’s completely aware of this. She’s previously had the cheek to say that we are all feeling the pinch given the financial situation, which is an absolute insult when she rubs her wealth in our faces 5 days a week.

AIBU in feeling completely incensed by this and wondering how on earth she can think it’s appropriate?! The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR.

When I first read this I thought you were complaining about her saying everyone is in it together, which I can see how that'd annoy people if she's wearing rolex watches etc. However, I don't think you can complain about what people wear unless it's against a dress code. It is a weird thing to bring up to HR.

Me? I don't care. Spend your money on what you like and unfortunately people will earn or inherit more money than you. That's life. I wouldn't go to HR because someone was wearing a Rolex to work.

Me? I don't care. Spend your money on what you like and unfortunately people will earn or inherit more money than you. That's life. I wouldn't go to HR because someone was wearing a Rolex to work.

You say that people are missing the point, but your language/description of her reeks of jealousy. She 'swans in' and 'rubs her wealth in your faces'. Does she really? Or is she just living her life/wearing what she wants? Does she come over and talk about all of her money and how she most recently bought a new [whatever], isn't it fabulous?? I doubt it. She has a right to complain about her financial situation too - it's all relative.

And that is a possibility too there’s multiple possibilities.

but there is also a growing acceptance of fake goods being acceptable among my gen and younger. we buy some fake and some designer. Well save for the statement bag that holds it value, buy designer stuff second hand but also buy good fakes of other items because to the layman they pass so well.

they’re often made in the same factories as the designer goods or are ‘seconds’ they’re supposed to bin/trash but the factory sells them on the side to make extra money so fakes aren’t necessarily bad even if copyright theft is a crime. Not all designer goods feed criminal gangs despite what we’re told.

we’re all aware that the majority of sunglasses regardless of the brand are made in the same small group of factories. Exactly the same hands make boots own brand glasses as those that make the designer labels for example.

debt is a legitimate point. Average personal debt before mortgages and student loans is around £5k.
she could have bought the lot on credit cards knowing she’s got a good salary to pay it off.

she could’ve had an inheritance and bought a house outright giving her more disposable income at a young age.

and yes a pissed off husband isn’t beyond the realms of possibility. I have male and female friends with spendy spouses who get pissed off about their designer purchases.

none of these things are bad just different circumstances the OP probably has bothered to consider beyond her own envy.

That what the OP is seeing often isn’t all sunshine and fucking rainbows.

You're not going far enough. You need to get her to actually go and live in a landfill site. Then there'll be a level playing field! (not that anyone can afford to live in a nice green playing field, nowadays)

Clearly these things are on a scale.

If you boss pays your other stuff the absolute bare minimum whilst pleading poverty she is a disgusting person and I hope the staff are deliberately lazy to punish her for her insensitivity.

If she is really nice, pays people fairly or even well, and is generally reasonably humble then it's no issue. She has a nice house.

Wow!!! good for her! I can't believe you think HR would take you seriously! She can do what she wants with her money. Perhaps you should all stop bitching about her and put your efforts into finding better paid work

I wouldn't even notice what brand people were wearing, I'd just think they looked well put together. Which doesn't take money, my mum looks well put together with charity shop buys.

And who wears a Rolex? You'd spend the whole time worrying that someone was going to mug you for it.

And cars, well people drive expensive cars but they're usually on finance.

You must work in a very odd team to feel like this OP.

Should slim people not wear fitted clothes at work in order to not offend?

I'm HR and if someone brought this to me, I would genuinely struggle to not laugh out of sheer amazement. As long as she is dressed within the company dresscode, it's none of your business!

I do get how it would be VERY hard to bring something like this up with HR, but things that affect company morale are the business of everyone who cares about the company.

You’d hate where I work! Hahaha, senior people have multiple homes, are dripping in designer and fly private. My boss, who is based outside UK was given a 4 carat diamond by the big boss for her 40th as a bonus. Our clients are even richer and more flashy but I just get on with my low paid role. If you don’t like it, move on to somewhere that fits better with your outlook on life.

I'm sorry, but you can't expect her to dress in Primark because you can't afford what she wears.
That's not how it works.

She can wear whatever she likes within the dress code.

I get it OP. We had a pay freeze for years and our CEO used to tell us all about his three homes in his weekly note. It used to wind me up. Being paid more does not mean you work any more.

OP said "The whole team are upset with this and considering raising it with HR."

I doubt that a simple "slim person wearing fitted clothes" situation would offend.

But if there are a couple of women in the office who aren't particularly slim or attractive, "unlucky in love" types, then if that slim person comes in every day in fitted clothes talking about how wonderful their boyfriend is and how it looks like they might have some modelling work coming up as a side hustle for their friend's lingerie business then I'd be concerned that insensitivity might cause disharmony, and disharmony is likely to reduce productivity and increase staff turnover, other things being equal.

It is hard to see how HR can do much, but surely part of HR's job is to try to minimise staff unhappiness (unless of course they want the staff member gone, in which case it is there job to maximise their unhappiness).

She can wear what she wants. It sounds like you're oversensitive. If you don't like it, work someone else, and have the ambition to rise through the ranks.

Why can OP not exercise her right to try to get this woman sacked? Why does OP have to be the one to leave?

Freedom works all ways - if you think this woman has the right to behave how she wants then OP has the right to address it how she wants.

Let me guess. You are very right wing and you believe an awful lot in rights, but rarely accept that with rights come responsibilities?

OP never said this person comes into the office bragging. No more than I just asked should a slim person dress in a way to not offend people that are overweight. I actually worked in the office with a girl that did modelling on the side and it never dawned on me to be jealous of her. OP and her work colleagues are jealous of this woman. It is not normal behaviour to go online and check the price of something that someone is wearing.

Being paid more does not mean you work any more.

No, but quite often it means you've studied harder and gained a higher burden of responsibility so credit where credit is due 🙄

Are you being serious? What a person chooses to spend their own money on is of no concern to HR or anyone else within the business unless it's on something illegal or something that affects their performance/ability at work or the reputation and integrity of the company. If she was spending thousands on coke and snorting it off her desk then knock yourself out and speak to HR but otherwise wind your neck in and stop being petty and jealous

You have to be a troll

I think the organisational context is important too. I haven’t read back on what OP’s industry sector might be, but if it was a charity for the homeless then, yeah, I can see how having a boss coming in in high value finery all the time might feel a bit weird and kind of disingenuous. Is that the case here?

You've no need to use capitals we can read without them. Of course it's this salary that's caused the issue, because it's the the jealous OP works at.

I doubt this women went from minimum wage to high flyer and all this is new.

Being paid more does not mean you work any more.

No but you often have higher qualifications or significant experience. It also often means you have more responsibility.